Tag Archives: john egbert

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 45: Everything I Know Is Turning Magic

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction

< Part 44 | Part 45 | Part 46 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 18 of 32

Pages 3415-3437 (MSPA: 5315-5337)

Man, when was the last time the title picture was at the start of the stretch of pages the post covers?

Picking up from where we left off, John went on a car ride with WV?* and is now talking to Jade in another long pesterlog.

* The question mark notation for the exiles before they became exiles always confused me in my first read. I think I interpreted the question marks a little too literally; I kind of thought it was supposed to indicate stuff on the order of, “is this guy WV or is it not?”

EB: hey jade, are you there? i have a computer now. 
EB: this boring guy keeps blinking at me though, and it’s weird. 
GG: john!!! 😀 
GG: wow, finally! 
EB: hi! 
EB: sorry i disappeared after you entered the game… 
EB: but from what i have seen in the clouds, it doesn’t look like you have had much trouble making progress! 
GG: nope! 
GG: dave was able to set up as my server player 
GG: he is building up my house right now so that we can deploy some equipment up there 
EB: oh, nice! 

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 44: Black Comedy Investigation Station

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction

< Part 43 | Part 44 | Part 45 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 17 of 32

Pages 3360-3414 (MSPA: 5260-5314)

Yet another title picture that doesn’t match the post’s name.
I would’ve done something from the investigation scene but I’m avoiding having spoilery title pictures.

NOTE: Next post will be April 10.

This is the picture accompanying Karkat’s memo.
We just got done seeing evil Gamzee, so this is some pretty strong juxtaposition.

To kick things off, Karkat starts up a memo to warn his friends about murderous purple-bloods on the loose.

CCG: THE WORST CASE SCENARIO HAS HAPPENED.
CCG: THE BARD OF RAGE IS ON THE LOOSE. 
CCG: YEAH, I KNOW WE ALL THOUGHT THAT TITLE WAS A JOKE, BUT IT TURNED OUT IT WASN’T. 

This is the official reveal of Gamzee’s god tier title; he’s no longer the Bard of Fuck I Forgot. As I said last post, Gamzee’s god tier title most likely wasn’t revealed earlier because it would be too obvious of a hint that he’d become evil.

Also, it’s interesting how the trolls apparently all thought Gamzee’s title was a joke. Did nobody find his title the least bit foreboding? Or did they think that was merely an example of the idea that titles are meant to challenge players? Come to think of it, it’s probably the trolls thinking the idea that people are sometimes in some way the opposite of their title, which has been brought up a few times. I’m not sure, but really, it would make sense for the title to be at least a little ominous.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 38: Ascensions and Failures Thereof

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction 

< Part 37 | Part 38 | Part 39 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 11 of 32

Pages 3075-3132 (MSPA: 4975-5032)

I haven’t had title images with John in them lately, so here’s one with him I guess. We aren’t going to see him for a while anyway.

John levels to the top of his echeladder and the air returns to being cloudy, and I guess this is kind of meant to indicate that the echeladder is not at the end of the line. We’re about to get introduced to the concept of god tiers.

Up next is another walkaround game featuring John. It’s similar to the Act 4 game (with very similar music) but I guess it switched to the Earthbound style. John answers Vriska in the game, and I have a few things to say about that.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 35: Backwards Logic and Nightmare Faces

Posted on by
3

Introduction

< Part 34 | Part 35 | Part 36 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 8 of 32

Pages 2942-2996 (MSPA: 4842-4896)

Continuing the exile arc, WV recognizes the Bec-shaped base, and only then does he remember that he had previously met the boy he commanded a while back. How come he only recognizes John now? PM recognized both John and Jade when she saw them on her command screen.

John sees WV? in the dream he told Rose about and then wakes up and does stuff we already saw. WV returns to commanding John as he promised way back in Act 2.

The whole scene is one of those moments where exile commands are shown on scenes we’ve already seen; such things are often meant to show us that exiles were behind certain things we’ve already seen, which reminds me of how Vriska is behind some stuff that happened in the kids’ session. I don’t think John mentioned having the exile voice return in his conversation with Rose, which makes sense because John couldn’t “hear” the voice.

John doesn’t listen to WV’s commands so he presses caps lock despite the narration telling him not to, locking him in the command station. Here’s an exile thing I’d like to discuss. When exiles give commands, apparently they’re sent to both characters and their own narrative prompts. The mechanics behind this are kind of a meta thing and aren’t really explained that clearly.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 34: Villain Caninification Station

Posted on by
3

Introduction

< Part 33 | Part 34 | Part 35 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 7 of 32

Pages 2891-2941 (MSPA: 4791-4841)

“The villain is a FUCKING DOG WEARING SUNGLASSES.”
—Andrew Hussie

Back to Jack’s duel with a wicked rad dude, his creepy puppet, and his bird son/brother, we get some panels like the one above that are creepy but crazy awesome. See, if this lightning ninja freak is fighting a villain, that’s when he’s pretty cool, like an impossibly rad character from Street Fighter or something.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 33: Cthulhu Acid Trip Dreams

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction

< Part 32 | Part 33 | Part 34 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 6 of 32

Pages 2841-2890 (MSPA: 4741-4790)

Yes, this really is a scene in Homestuck. I promise you, not all of it is an LSD tri—oh wait you should know this, because this post series is made on the assumption that people reading it have read Homestuck.

In which I decide against the “in which blah blah blah” thing because that would be stealing an idea from the blog that inspired this post series, and stealing ideas is a bad habit I’ve had in my creative projects for as long as I can remember; and also because I went fine adding title pictures to my older posts without any text immediately following.

Continuing from where we left off, we see what Jack Noir is up to. He yanks the ninja sword out of the beat mesa record thing, and I wonder where exactly Dave’s bro went. I actually don’t remember. I think he escaped and somehow went to LOWAS offscreen but I’m not sure. I guess I’ll see and find out.

Then comes a famously bizarre and nightmarish flash in which Jade wakes up from her dream. I’ll comment on it with the screenshot method I’ve seen livebloggers use.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 32: The Bard of Fuck I Forgot

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction

< Part 31 | Part 32 | Part 33 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 5 of 32

Pages 2793-2840 (MSPA: 4693-4740)

I am debating with myself whether it’s clichéd to start putting in “Where I…” between the title pictures of my posts and the first pictures. Because I want to have something between those pictures or it just looks awkward. Then again I have nothing between the title and following pictures in many of the posts where I retroactively added title pictures.

John connects to Jade and gets ready to do some important stuff until…

She’s back!

Nanna makes her classic pranking entrance and summons a bed to catch John and his stuff.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 31: Shipping Grids and Massive Walkarounds

Posted on by
3

Introduction

< Part 30 | Part 31 | Part 32 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 4 of 32

Pages 2784-2792 (MSPA: 4684-4692)

Pictured above: why this post covers only nine pages.

Welcome to post 31 of this whole big project. Honestly this is just filler text to make the gap between the title picture and the following picture less weird.

I wonder if this picture was deliberately meant to give an M.C. Escher vibe or if it’s just weirdness arising from visual callbacks (in this case calling back to the view up from Terezi’s hive).
Also, we can infer from John’s lack of panic sitting up here that he doesn’t have any fear of heights. Come to think of it, pretty much nobody in Homestuck seems to have fear of heights.

— ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG] — 

EB: hey vriska!
EB: ok, i still cannot find my nanna up here, so now i am just installing this game.
EB: what are you up to?
AG: John! What the hell. There are so many things wrong with what you just said.
AG: First of all, who told you you could just hassle me without warning like this? That’s not how this works!
EB: why not? you guys do it all the time.
AG: Yes, 8ecause we are trolling you! Those are the rules. We get to 8ug you any time we feel like, and you have to sit there and t8ke it like a chump.
EB: bluh…
AG: I am too 8usy to 8e fielding your nonsense at the drop of one of your a8surd human hats. I have a ridiculous num8er of irons in the fire. You will speak to me only when I am ready to contact you, is that clear????????
EB: that’s dumb. i’m going to talk to you whenever i want! 

Here, John is giving Vriska a status update out of his own will. I thought up some reasons last post as to why John feels the need to keep in touch with Vriska, and it’s still pretty interesting, especially because John is contacting Vriska rather than the other way around.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 30: Coolkid Phenomination Station

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction

< Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 3 of 32

Pages 2733-2783 (MSPA: 4633-4683)

The pages I’m covering today don’t actually start with this picture, but I’ve decided to start doing what I’ll call “title pictures” for these posts. So here’s a picture of Dave in some building in a baseball shirt or something. I’ve seen drawings of the beta kids where Dave is inexplicably wearing this outfit while the rest are in their starting clothes.

Last time Rose did a bunch of stuff and so did Kanaya. Now it’s time for Dave to do a bunch of stuff. OK, not quite. First John and Vriska have to do stuff. Man, why do characters do stuff so much?

Where were we? John just emptied his sylladex.

AG: This is the most ridiculous pile of useless crap I have ever seen.
AG: Why did you pick up all this junk???????? Rocks, mushrooms, shoes…….. 
AG: Jegus, John.
EB: jegus?
AG: Yes. Jegus!
EB: how do you know about jegus? do you even know what that is?
AG: I have no idea! It’s something Terezi has 8een saying non stop for some reason.
AG: It is weirdly infectious.
AG: What is it, some sort of human profanity?
EB: no. well, yeah kind of.
EB: it is a misspelling of an adult male bearded human, who was magic. 

I remember reading this bit in my first read-through. Now think of the fact that I’m taking note of this. That’s how much I skimmed stuff in my first read-through. John’s last line is of particular note because it sounds like something a troll would say.

Also, this right here is proof against the misconception that Jegus is a troll word. For some reason it’s really popular among fans to make all the trolls Jegus-spewing machines. Dave is technically the one who came up with the term through a misspelling in a conversation with Terezi and the other trolls started using it as well. Let it sink in. Dave coined the word so many fans think is a troll catchphrase.

Continue reading →

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 29: Crazy Destruction and Laptop Reunions

Posted on by
Reply

Introduction

< Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 2 of 32

Pages 2684-2731 (MSPA: 4584-4631)

NOTE: I said my blog hiatus would probably last longer than this, but I’ve finished all homework and I have some spare time now, so I figured, why not release a post right now? Next post will probably be 1-2 weeks from now.

Background turtles are sweating like there’s no tomorrow.

We see what Rose is up to, and what’s the first thing she does? She destroys a turtle temple, which is kind of a character establishing moment, except that we already were introduced to her long ago so maybe it’s more of a mission establishing moment? I don’t know, it still has the same feel as a character establishing moment. But it reveals a new trait in Rose, her exceptional perseverance and desire for relevance. Dave once said that she did this crazy destruction stuff “because shes rose”.

This is the first time a character is represented in an alert bubble by a symbol against a non-white background; this gradually becomes more and more common as the story progresses.*

* As Homestuck went on, alert bubbles have progressed like so: (1) bubbles with “…” in them -> (2) bubbles with their character’s face -> (3) characters’ symbols against a white background -> (4) characters’ symbols as they appear on the shirt (this includes aspect symbols). That progression is pretty gradual, with each slowly overtaking its predecessor.

GA: Okay This Will Probably Strike You As An Odd Moment For Me To Mention This 
GA: But Actually 
GA: There Are Not Many Moments Ive Observed On Your Timeline Which Wouldnt Qualify As Odd 
GA: And Somehow 
GA: Your Idle Moments Seem To Invite Interruption The Least 
GA: And This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach 
GA: For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand 
TT: You’re rambling again, Kanaya. 

Rose’s line here is a definite indicator of a friendship going on between them.

GA: Okay Sorry 
GA: Ive Just Been Meaning To Say 
GA: That I Read Your Instructional Guide

Why didn’t she mention this sooner? That should logically be the first thing she tells her, but I guess she was too occupied with finding the deal with her or something.

Continue reading →