Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 76: The Weirdest Apocalypse Ever Told

Introduction

Part 75 | Part 76 | Part 77 >

Act 6 Act 3, Part 2 of 8 or so

Pages 4841-4861 (MSPA: 6741-6761)

NOTE: The title isn’t that fitting because I haven’t even gotten to the part about juggalos yet. But I kind of came up with it at the last minute because I finally figured out that there’s no use in delaying these posts more than I already have. Also I’m bad at post titles regardless.

NOTE 2: I hope this is the only time such a gigantic delay ever happens.

Jake lying unconscious in the frog temple transitions us to another dream bubble scene which is mostly this huge worldbuilding and exposition dump, but not before an introductory section of sorts to set the stage pretty much.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] 
TT: Happy 13th, bro. 
TT: I have something for you. 
GT: Whoa nelly! 
GT: You are too kind my friend. What is it? 
TT: It’s no big deal, since it’s nothin’ I wasn’t planning on giving you anyway. 
TT: I just sort of happened to finish it today. 
GT: I think i catch your drift. 
GT: So my new tin comrade finally gets a head on his shoulders eh? 
TT: Yeah, assuming I can actually send it today without another untimely paradoxification. 
TT: If not, then hey, you get a sick grill full of birthday slime instead. 
GT: Oh hell no. HELL no man. 
GT: Well listen. If youre going to send anything to me slime or otherwise can you please at least not make the shit appear directly over my head this time? 

I think my uncertainty about what stuff with Dirk’s sendificator was predestined might be answered now? This conversation reveals that several times prior Dirk tried to send Jake parts of Brobot but destination wouldn’t let him. But now, later on Dirk successfully sends Jake the robot’s head in a way that makes it seem like a birthday present, which ends up causing those regular robot strife battles to happen. And it turns out that stuff served the ultimate purpose of driving the rabbit subplot which we basically already saw now.

Continue reading

Rant about Homestuck snaps

12/29/2016: I’m going to write a tiny bit more and then release what I have of my next post because I’ve delayed them way too long already.

For the past two months we’ve gotten Homestuck material presented to us via Snapchat stuff and it’s frightening for practically every reason imaginable.

It all started with the credits, which I have very mixed feelings about right now, but at the time they relieved my salt about Act 7 which felt pretty mystical. Then there were Halloween snaps a few days after the credits, before the deeper problems with them started to sink in for me. A few mildly cringey references aside, the Halloween stuff was further salt relief because it was pretty much a bunch of fun fluff.

But then came 11/11, the fifth anniversary of Act 6, and, uh…

OK let me put it like this. That series of snaps started with Jane at Crockercorp and felt like they would be mystical (holy mother of god her doing important stuff!), but instead they turned into what I’m pretty sure was supposed to be a bunch of pleasant happy fluff. But it was actually the kind of stuff that pretends to be cute and fun but actually freaks you out completely. I’ll admit, on that day I was too distracted by shipping stuff to pay attention to the underlying problems with this method of media presentation that would come into full view later on. But look, I’m not the biggest fan of the story acting like random ships that came out of nowhere (in this case Roxy and Calliope) suddenly were always meant to be a thing, is that hard to understand. It’s just a pretty dumb way to present story material in general.

After those snaps happened, people were theorizing and anticipating resolution about Jane being kidnapped or whatever happened, but I found it hard to care about it or treat it like actually relevant material. It’s just hard to treat the Snapchat material as part of Homestuck for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it’s run by Hussie’s associates, not the man himself. Also because it isn’t posted on the MSPA website or anything.

Second person narration, dear god why…

After that we got snaps on Thanksgiving focusing on Jack Noir. I actually enjoyed them in and of themselves, because Jack is all around an enjoyable character. But the problems with them are especially multi-layered. First and foremost, it feels pretty gut-wrenching seeing Slick replaced in role entirely with this version of Jack without anyone saying a word. But even if you ignore that entirely, those snaps use second person narration for some reason which doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. Between this and the snaps being all around way too wordy, it’s clear that this is really just meant to be a fun and new way to present Homestuck material. But it’s not that fun when you don’t have a phone anywhere near good enough to install Snapchat on and have to either consume one every hour or click your way through a dozen Reddit posts to take a look at the snaps. I know that’s not necessarily what you have to do but you get the idea: it’s hard to digest them anything resembling the way one can peruse the actual comic.

But the ultimate problem with having this stuff is as follows: it’s actually plot-relevant stuff, presented in this crummy format. I don’t know much about how Snapchat works but I’m pretty sure the pictures delete themselves after a day so I don’t have a clue what the people who run this are thinking. Nor do I have any idea whether they’re going to be posted again as part of the comic, which I’d rather not have happen because (1) the whole story turning into Snapchat stuff would be the absolute worst and (2) the material in the snaps still feels pretty tangential and disjointed from the comic. Plus, treating these snaps as not part of the comic makes me feel better about the stuff in them that doesn’t make me that happy.

Uh, what.

It all came together just a few days ago when we got the hardest to follow plotline ever seen. I don’t know what happened in it but I’ve heard people talk about Jane giving Jack her old tiaratop and controlling him, or something? I’m not going to lie, it feels like they’re talking about a whole different comic.

A big part of this sequence being hard to follow is how much stuff was happening at once. It’s obviously supposed to seem cool and awesome but instead it’s confusing. Not confusing as in some kind of crazy time loop, but confusing as in you just can’t tell what’s supposed to be going on. The text in those snaps is also extremely distracting, and I’m fairly certain it’s pretty far removed from how people actually use Snapchat, which again makes it feel like it’s really just a new way to present Homestuck material even though it’s bad.

But the ultimate problem with the writing in the snaps is as follows: it feels like the guy who’s writing them is trying way too hard to make the characters sound like themselves. Practically every single snap is captioned with just way too much text and I’m like, is that really how the characters talk?

Bottom line: At first these snaps seemed just like enjoyable filler material but now everything is going sideways in a really confusing way. That’s actually how I would describe all of Homestuck since the retcon happened, but maybe something worth it will come out of this? At this point I’d almost be completely OK if the whole rest of Homestuck from here on out is just Caliborn gloating at us.

Progress on next Homestuck post + vacation update

12/27/2016: I’ve decided to end the stretch of pages covered in my next post a few pages sooner than I thought I would. Next post is two-thirds done now and I think I can finish it before the new year.

It may seem like it’s taken three solid weeks to work on my next Homestuck post, but I’ve really only been working on it for something like the past five days. Keep in mind then before that I took a break from these posts—they were about the only free time thing preparing for finals actually deterred me from. All that is over now of course. I’ll be on vacation during the week of Christmas, where I’ll be bringing my school laptop again; unlike last year I will work on these posts during that time. The scope of my projects has changed considerably over the past year; now it’s mainly these posts and Cool and New Webcomic music.

Next post is about 40% done as of December 22. If I’m lucky, maybe I could finish it around Christmas? No matter what happens it won’t be released before the new year. The next one after that probably won’t be very long, and as with my latest post which was released six days after the previous, maybe it won’t even take that long to make.

Looking back on my old hiatus post from almost exactly a year ago, the idea of pausing these posts for anything close to three months seems completely absurd. It’s still been a fun personal project for me; the main reason my posts have taken so long lately is because of how carried away I’ve been with it.

Further Reflection on the Homestuck Credits

It’s been a while since I released my last Homestuck re-read post. I’m still working on my next one, which I’d like to release around Wednesday probably Friday is more realistic I don’t know when. In the mean time I’m going to ramble a little about the credits, which I had given my thoughts on the day they were released.

When the credits came out, I felt considerably less salty about late Homestuck overall. However, that effect was only temporary. I would love to say I’m happy with how they happened, because there really were some delightful and pleasant surprises. However, that flaw with them I’ve talked about—John’s potential relationship with Roxy not being addressed—is just so glaring and invites a lot of unsettling implications. I know it’s a ship and all but considering how all other plausible major ones (and then some) are given decent bait—even the one I absolutely hate was handled in a way I’m happy with—I actually am pretty bewildered about that.

And it’s not just a ship that makes me have problems with the credits as they stand. In the last two minutes or so, we get implications that the kids might not be that close anymore, with pairs or trios that seem to mostly hang out with each other, such as Rose and Kanaya, Dirk and Jake, and (dear god why) Roxy and Calliope. I’m pretty sure that’s not how friendships are supposed to work, and it’s pretty unsettling to think about, especially due to how vague it all is. Do they all live in separate kingdoms scattered around the world? How much does the kingdom ruling thing actually mean? What happened to that one ship I have a bit of a soft spot for? And most of all, is John doing alright?

I used to be unable to rationally watch Act 7, but with more and more endgame material I’ve come to accept it as a false ending with more to it than you think. For one thing, there’s not a shred of doubt in my mind that Lord English wasn’t actually killed, and it’s quite likely we have more of Caliborn’s story to go through. However, I’m presently kind of unable to watch the credits due to my salt being transferred.

Bottom line: I’m a little worried about all this.