Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 53: Scratch Doctor Narration Adventures


Part 52 | Part 53 | Part 54 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 26 of 32

Doc Scratch Intermission, Part 1 of 6

Pages 3763-3832 (MSPA: 5663-5732)

NOTE: For once I managed to release a post ahead of schedule! God damn am I proud. I will leave for vacation June 9, so you should expect about three more posts before then.

Where we left off, Homestuck Disc 2 was taken to Doc Scratch for repair. Now, Doc Scratch takes over the narration for the second time, and helpfully changes the color scheme of the website so that his white text is easier to read. I think the color scheme change does a really nice job at changing the atmosphere of the site to a very different mood for Scratch’s section of the act.

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Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 52: Metafictional Disc Glitch Madness


Part 51 | Part 52 | Part 53 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 25 of 32

Pages 3717-3762 (MSPA: 5617-5662)

NOTE: This post took longer than I hoped because it goes through a lot of flash pages and those always take longer to cover than usual. For some reason it didn’t occur to me until yesterday that I could take screenshots from flashes far more easily by taking them from these fan-made storyboards. See the image above for how I feel about that.

Terezi is starting to surpass Karkat as my favorite troll.

Proceeding from where we left off, we have what appears to be yet another walkaround game, except it doesn’t work because the disc is missing. A weird big “Objection!” referencing Ace Attorney appears out of nowhere, our first hint that something isn’t right with the disc missing.

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Modification to my Homestuck posting schedule

(Note: I’m dropping the “Cookie Fonster Says Stuff About His Homestuck Commentary” thing.)

As you may have noticed, I did not end up releasing a Homestuck post this morning. Turns out that my twice-a-week schedule was indeed too much for me.

Instead, my summer post schedule will be new posts every 3 to 5 days. This will depend on how long it takes me to write a post. If a post takes five days to make, then I guess that’s how long it takes. If two posts in a row only take three days to make, then that would be faster than my intended post schedule. I hope to release my next post in a few hours. EDIT: Either that, or tomorrow morning. We’ll see. I’m almost done with this post but I only have a few hours left for today.

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 51: A Tale of Two Vengeful Seers


Part 50 | Part 51 | Part 52 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 24 of 32

Pages 3695-3716 (MSPA: 5595-5616)

Before we begin, here’s a fact that probably no one who isn’t me cares about: when moving these blog posts to WordPress in 2019, I edited this post far more heavily than I did prior posts, some edits regarding the painfully basic John/Rose ship, and others just smoothing out faltering wording (which there’s plenty of up until about post 70-some). I’m not sure why I went so much heavier editing this post than any before, but looking back, most of the edits are just clearer wording, so I’m leaving them as is while I go through these posts in order in 2021 after having finished writing (but not yet publishing) the final post.

It’s time for [S] Seer: Descend, a walkaround game that tops all others in chilling mood and rivals Alterniabound in scale while completely dominating it in plot relevance. Like some others, it opens with a flash sequence with, as the title suggests, Rose descending into the castle. I can’t help but notice the giant black squidmonster aura surrounding her, which just utterly dwarfs anything she did before going dark, and that includes glowing three different colors to my recollection.

Another part of the flash opening sequence that is pretty much impossible to screenshot: we very briefly glimpse both the green sun and a color-inverted pink sun. I’ve heard of theories that there’s a pink sun to complement the green sun, just like Alternia’s green and pink moons, though those are dismissed by many as a ridiculous crack theory that makes no sense. Only through catching the glimpse after rewatching that sequence did I notice that glimpsed pink sun. It’s really probably just a color-inverted green sun though.

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Cookie Fonster Says Stuff About His Homestuck Commentary 7: Summer Posting Schedule

NOTE: This post was edited two days after release because me getting a laptop during the summer is more likely than I thought.

Months ago, I said that during summer I may speed up my posting schedule from the rate of every five days. Yesterday was the last day of school, so now I can do a faster posting schedule as I promised.

During the three months of summer break, I will return to (a slight variant of) my original post schedule: new posts every Thursday morning and Sunday evening. Or at least, I’ll see if that schedule works out. If that’s too fast of a rate for me, which I feel that it probably won’t be, then I’ll slightly slow down to maybe every four days. This new post schedule will be in effect starting tomorrow, which is when I’ll release my next post.

Now, I won’t be posting during all of summer. Among the approximately thirteen weeks I have off school, four of them will be on vacation: two weeks away in June, one in July, and one in August. I will soon turn in my school-provided laptop, so currently the best computer I’ll have on me for vacation is my incredibly outdated iPod touch, which is really hard to write posts on. However, if I’m lucky I might get my hands on a laptop of my own during the summer. I’ll tell you when I’m on vacation when it happens, and if I do get a laptop then the vacations might still have posts after all.

All this means that I’ll have anywhere between eight and thirteen weeks total of the summer posting schedule, until I get back to school and see what happens then.

For now I’ll say this. My Homestuck blog post series has become a considerably bigger project than I envisioned at first, just like my large number site. At first it was just telling what’s going on in the story and sometimes making remarks about it. But now, I’m analyzing the story in a level of depth I originally didn’t want to go into, but that I now wish I did the whole time. With my large number site, I would regularly edit my old articles to match them up with the current style, though I feel that I can’t really do the same to my blog post series given that it’s specifically meant as commenting as I go. Well, I did edit some of my earlier posts but it was mostly relatively small edits. I’ve thought about doing remastered versions of my earlier posts, and while I still am considering doing that eventually, it won’t be editing the early posts in their entirety. Maybe when this post series is finished I’ll do the remastering stuff and release it as some kind of grand online document? I don’t know. This project has still been a lot of fun for me.

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 50: The Sad, the Silly, and the Self-Indulgent


Part 49 | Part 50 | Part 51 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 23 of 32

Pages 3636-3694 (MSPA: 5536-5594)

So I’m halfway to 100 posts now. As with my inactive large number website, I’m impressed with myself by how much bigger this project is turning out to be than I first envisioned.

NOTE: I have officially decided to split Act 5 Act 2 into 32 posts, arranged like so:

  • Two more posts before the Doc Scratch intermission
  • Six Doc Scratch intermission posts
    • Two posts before the scrapbook section
    • Three posts for the scrapbook section
    • One post after the scrapbook section
  • One post after Hussie snaps out of the intermission; this will include Cascade and Intermission 2.

Note the flashing Bec symbol in the alert bubble.

TT: Sorry for the delayed response. 
TT: Answering seems to be what to do right now. 
GG: rose jeez!!! 
GG: finally 
GG: you sure seem to be absorbed in whatever youre doing on that computer… 
GG: were you talking to someone? 
TT: Oh, right. I forgot I gave you the code for the crystal ball. 
TT: And here I was thinking I could safely delay responding to messages without seeming like an ass, the way it usually works.
TT: Oops. 

Rose remarks that it’s kind of rude of her not to answer her friends’ messages. It’s weird, how throughout what I’ve covered last post, Rose realizes what she’s doing is bad but does it anyway.

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People always say Jurassic Bark is crazy sad but…

…The Luck of the Fryrish is the episode of Futurama that really got to me. I’ve seen discussions of Futurama online, and a large portion of people agree that among the show’s many emotional moments, the dog episode tops them all. Even though I agree that it’s probably the saddest episode overall, Luck of the Fryrish, which is often considered to be one of the saddest episodes rather than the saddest, has more of an emotional impact in my opinion. It’s not just straight-up sad, but also very bittersweet, which adds more to the impact than plain old sadness. The ending of Jurassic Bark left me with the typical sad scene feel, but Luck of the Fryrish almost made me cry, which says a lot because I’ve never cried from a work of media.

Compare the two episodes’ endings:

  • Before leaving for his final pizza delivery, Fry tells his dog he won’t be gone long. His dog spends the next day searching for him, finds him frozen, and waits for him to return for twelve solid years until he dies. There’s no degree of positivity in this ending, and the joy of the flashback scenes is what makes it sad in the first place. If Fry knew his dog never forgot about him, then it not be so “straight sad” so to speak, but he never knows this.
  • Fry goes to his brother’s grave only to find out that it isn’t actually his brother; rather than stealing his name and his lucky clover like he was led to believe, his brother named his son Philip J. Fry and gave him the clover. And thanks to reading the gravestone, Fry himself knows the truth about his brother and starts to cry with a smile on his face. Leela even tells Bender that Fry needs a moment to himself.

What is so impactful about Luck of the Fryrish? For one thing, I have an easier time relating to sibling rivalry than dog loyalty. As an oldest child I can easily find myself in Fry’s brother’s shoes, but I’ve never owned a dog. But another thing with this one is Fry finds out the tear-jerking truth, allowing the audience to cry with him, something Jurassic Bark does not do.

The reason why Jurassic Bark is considered the saddest episode is because it’s straight-up sad, rather than heartwarmingly sad. While Jurassic Bark is more sad overall, Luck of the Fryrish has more of an emotional impact, at least in my experience. It varies from person to person obviously. I’m sure some people have an easier time relating to Jurassic Bark, like dog lovers who never had any siblings.

But Jurassic Bark was still a great episode! Despite how cruel the ending was, it had some great moments. My favorite part is when the dog finds out what happened to his owner but his family doesn’t. It’s just that Luck of the Fryrish is even better, and still my favorite episode.

The thing with Futurama is that it’s perpetually hilarious, but unlike what I’ve seen of other shows of its type, it does a great job of making you feel for the characters. I can think of at least ten episodes that people typically bring up as emotional moments. I should note that I’m not that well-versed in television: there’s mostly a handful of cartoons (no live action shows, those don’t appeal to me) that I’ll watch when I have downtime, and a smaller handful that I follow or watch particularly often.

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 49: Therapist Manipulation Station


Part 48 | Part 49 | Part 50 >

Act 5 Act 2, Part 22 of 32

Pages 3614-3635 (MSPA: 5514-5535)

alternate post title: Stop Listening to Doc Scratch You Imbecile

alternate alternate post title: the “I wish this was my 50th post” special

We once again switch perspectives to Doc Scratch, who controls the narrative for a while. He says:

[In fact, I think it would be for the best if I commandeered the narrative completely for a while. I trust you won’t mind if I speak in white. It’s not actually negotiable, but as a courtesy I will enclose my words between a pair of visually audible brackets.

I am doing this because I can.

(god I can already tell it’s gonna be a pain in the ass to format his pesterlogs when I quote them)

(even more now in WordPress than in Blogger, actually)

As we learn here, Scratch is the only character so far who is aware that he is in a story. Well, I guess also Hussie’s self-insert, but that’s a special case. What role does this fourth wall awareness play in the story? Mostly just meta shenanigans I believe. They can be fun, but it’s important to note that they are NOT the main point of the story. People often come up with meta justifications for why Act 7 was an unsatisfying ending (e.g. the idea that the kids escaped the story by entering the victory door), but I feel that escaping the story is no excuse for leaving so much stuff unresolved.

Also regarding this, Let’s Read Homestuck cleverly handles Doc Scratch’s fourth-wall narration which doesn’t make sense in video. Scratch says in the videos that the idea of “visually audible brackets” makes no sense to people watching the videos rather than reading the comic, but as an excellent host he must remain faithful to the comic’s script. I think that speaks for itself, going along very nicely with the theme of his fourth-wall awareness.

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A number makes all the difference when naming a post

Here’s a random interesting thought that crossed my mind.

Right now I’m considering doing a blog post about episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants that scared me as a kid (I’m not kidding, some episodes were seriously terrifying). Consider the post title:

SpongeBob Episodes That Scared the Shit Out of Me

Now add a number to the title of the post:

12 SpongeBob Episodes That Scared the Shit Out of Me

Just by adding a number to the start of a post, the title suddenly seems like a cheap clickbait Buzzfeed “article”. I put “article” in quotation marks because most of those gif-flooded list pages on Buzzfeed barely count as articles.

It’s a bit of a shame how you can’t give articles like this catchy names without seeming like clickbait nonsense. But I wasn’t really planning on giving the article a name with a number in the title anyway.