Author Archives: cookiefonster

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 71: Rainbow Freefalls of Frivolous Banter

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Introduction

< Part 70 | Part 71 | Part 72 >

Act 6 Act 2, Part 6 of 6

Pages 4595-4666 (MSPA: 6495-6566)

Jack returns to kill Jane again but is interrupted by a message from DD:

Hang on. It’s this guy. Gotta answer this. He better be bearing news of murdered youngsters. 

He says the deceased child count is still sitting at zero over here. You say WHAT? He says that’s not all. You wait for him to spill the beans. 

He says one of the brats staged a little rebellion on the moon. Stuck the Brute’s head on a pike for all to see. Real black eye for the kingdom and the Condesce. Press is going nuts with it. Wait. The Brute’s dead, you say? He says yes. Dammit. He was one of your best agents. You never really cared for the guy but you admired his brutality. We all did sir, he says. 

It seems like the alpha kids are actually doing a good job going against the Derse agents, inadvertently or otherwise, since the agents’ plans are all ruined now. What’s especially crazy about this is that Jack Noir of all people is hopelessly struggling to accomplish anything.

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Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 70: A Friendship Permanently Ruined

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Introduction

< Part 69 | Part 70 | Part 71 >

Act 6 Act 2, Part 5 of 6

Pages 4569-4594 (MSPA: 6469-6494)

Jane’s conversation with Dirk’s responder about Sburb (i.e. stuff that matters) looks like this:

but her conversation with Roxy about teen drama shit looks like this:

(click to zoom in)

I think this difference says a lot about the alpha kids’ story arc, and how much time they waste on stuff that isn’t Sburb. I don’t even have much to say about the short pesterlog, other than that Jane is noticeably enthusiastic about starting up the game and more than ready to begin, and I think her entering the game could’ve easily progressed smoothly from here on out.

However—and this is a tangent that isn’t so much saying stuff about the short pesterlog—I imagine the progression of events might be too straightforward if Jane didn’t start getting bugged by other people. In the beta kids’ arc, getting John into the game was an interesting storyline because it was our first time seeing that happen, not to mention we didn’t even know he would be transported to another dimension. In the trolls’ arc that stuff is all kind of fast forwarded through, while in the alpha kids’ arc it’s interrupted by relationship drama. I think the story probably would’ve progressed interestingly enough without that happening since plot twists regarding starting the game have already happened in the form of things blowing up. Then again I can kind of see why Jane entering would keep getting delayed like that. Act 6 Act 2 isn’t really in any position to conclude yet; for one thing we still haven’t heard from Jake at all in this act, let alone see him make progress on his bunny mission.

Anyway let’s get on with the long pesterlog.

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Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 69: A Series of Faux Cat Mysteries

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Introduction

< Part 68 | Part 69 | Part 70 >

Act 6 Act 2, Part 4 of 6

Pages 4470-4516 (MSPA: 6370-6416)

This post is now a week too late to be the anniversary special. I guess it’s still sort of the de facto anniversary special? 

We now switch focus over to Roxy and the first interesting bit we get is her examining her collection of dead cats. The narration says about one of them:

The biggest one has been around for as long as you remember, encased in that glass-like material. You’ve considered giving it a name, but it always struck you as a little morbid to name a dead cat. 

Yet another subversion of a longstanding motif in the comic; in this case, different people giving animals different names of different genders. In this case I guess it’s only fair that happens because the cat has already gotten two names. Besides, it’s yet another recurring thing that’s gotten a bit stale. That motif happens again later on with Serenity the firefly, but in that case it’s a somewhat more unexpected thing to happen.

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Homestuck posts no longer have a set schedule

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I finally came to terms with the fact that I’m no longer able to keep a steady posting schedule with this post series, something that’s been obvious for months, but only now am I finally letting go of those phantom post schedules that don’t mean anything. From here on out, the only certainty regarding post release dates is as follows: there should never be more than two weeks in between Homestuck posts, unless I’m on vacation or something.

That said, I’d still like to give an update regarding my next post. Right now I’m about 40% through that post, and it should be done in maybe two or three days.

EDIT (9/22/2016): It’s been two days since I posted this, and now I’m about 80% through my next post; mostly what’s left is another expository Calliope pesterlog. It should be released within the next two days. From here on out, these progress reports will be edited to the start of my most recently published Homestuck post.

EDIT 2 (9/24/2016): Next post is almost finished now, as in really really close to done. It should be released tomorrow.

Happy first birthday to my Homestuck post series

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My next Homestuck post, which will be the post series’ anniversary special, will be released Tuesday or so. For now enjoy this cool picture I made to celebrate:

As you can see, I’ve come a long way since starting my post series, with my posts becoming ever more detailed analysis and commentary on the comic as time passed. At first, new posts covering 100 pages twice a week was kind of a slow schedule for me; now, even new posts covering 50 pages every week is a bit much for me to keep up with, because my posts are just so detailed these days. And it’s all thanks to me getting carried away with projects.

If I keep posting at the rate I’m going, this post series will last for maybe another year and a half before I reach the end; that is, if the epilogue doesn’t happen by then, which I highly doubt. At the end of year 2, I’d probably be in early Act 6 Act 6 (around page 8400), going by a rough estimate of 40 pages covered each week. This means I have quite a way to go before my posts devolve into endless rants about the problems with the retcon and Vriska and the ship I always moan about and Act 7 and all that shit. Will I live up to those predictions? Only time will tell.

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 68: Dream Decapitations and Smug Brain Clones

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Introduction

< Part 67 | Part 68 | Part 69 >

Act 6 Act 2, Part 3 of 6

Pages 4538-4568 (MSPA: 6438-6468)

My anniversary special post is coming up next, either on Sunday or on Tuesday. Are you ready?

We now switch focus to Dirk’s dream self, and the big thing I notice here is that all but a few items are tinted red: the ones that aren’t are the rocket board, Minihoof, the Dersite newspaper, Cal, and Dirk himself. My guess as to why that is is because the colored objects are items specific to the dream world, not just projections of his own possessions. The deal with the apparently “real” version of Cal in his dream self’s room is never explained, which is a bit of a plot hole: we don’t know if it’s empty or full, let alone what happens with it, and I can only assume it isn’t a projection because of its coloring.

As for the other objects being colored, Minihoof is probably colored because it’s a living being, the Dersite magazine is obvious, and I’m not sure about the rocket board. I do recall that he later uses it to travel to Roxy’s home and decapitate himself and all that and…

Wait a minute. I think I know why it’s colored like that. I’m pretty sure his dream self uses that thing in the Unite Synchronization sequences as well to pick up Roxy and Jane, and it’s definitely distinct from the waking world rocket board. With that in mind, maybe the board is colored because of its use in that sequence and how it’s taken to the real world in Jake’s island? My bet is that the waking and dreaming world rocket boards are one and the same, with the dream one making it to Dirk’s room with a reckoning portal and becoming the waking one.

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Homestuck posts are now every Monday

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Except for the next post after the one I’m presently working on, that’ll be my anniversary post and will be released on the 18th if I can make it on that day.

My next post is currently about two-thirds finished and should be done tomorrow Tuesday Wednesday, because I’ve got a lot of homework to do today (September 12). Post is 80% finished as of Monday afternoon.

God I hope I can get the anniversary post done on time. If I don’t make that date I could post it two days after that (September 20), the anniversary of my first Homestuck post not counting the introduction post.

EDIT: As of September 13, the next post is 95% finished, and I should have it done tomorrow.

Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 67: Meet the Rad Dude with Rad Shades

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Introduction

< Part 66 | Part 67 | Part 68 >

Act 6 Act 2, Part 2 of 6

Pages 4437-4469, 4517-4537 (MSPA: 6337-6369, 6417-6437)

And a rad title refrance.

NOTE: My next few posts for Act 6 Act 2 will be divided as follows:   

  • One post for the rest of Dirk’s half of the selection screen (might be a shorter post than usual?)
  • One post for Roxy’s half of the selection screen
  • Two posts for the rest of the sub-act

I’m not sure if I’ll keep going with the every Sunday schedule or do something a bit faster. I keep forgetting that I stopped being able to maintain a steady posting schedule months ago, when I had that big school project in April and May. But I still feel tempted to say how often I’ll release posts regardless.  

You’ve clearly got some time to kill before your bffsy gets back from her emergency. Might as well do some casual reading. 

Rather than going through sylladex mishaps while waiting for Roxy to get back to her, Jane decides to read some books instead, presumably because she’s so “mature”. Seriously, everything she’s done so far has come off as unbelievably childish. The only thing that prevents her from reaching Vriska levels of immaturity is feeling bad about leaving her dad in suspense.

But there’s nothing casual about hoisting even an abridged Sassacre’s up to your lap, so forget that. There’s always GAME GRL. But the articles are all a bit vapid, and in your view, somewhat demeaning to female gamers, and women in general. You and Ro-Lal are convinced the whole thing is just written by the same odious d-bags who write GAME BRO. Which is exactly what makes it GOOD 4 THE ELL YOU ELLZ, her words. 

It’s clear that Game Grl is a completely satirical magazine, perhaps even more so than Game Bro considering how sexist it supposedly is. Its purported intended audience is gamer girls, but its actual intended audience is the same sorts of people who enjoy stuff like South Park.* This brings to mind the whole thing of layers of irony, which itself brings to mind Dave. With that in mind I have a new headcanon: in the scratched universe Dave is the creator of all those satirical gaming magazines.

* Roxy would probably fall into both categories (i.e. be motherfuckin’ both things).

Alright, it’s finally time for Detective Pony. Before we begin, I’d like to note something: for the sake of this post series, I’ll consider the fanmade full version of Detective Pony to be canon. Even though I consider it to be canon regardless.

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Homestuck posts will now be weekly

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And in addition to that, my next post will be delayed by one day, so that it’ll be released September 4 September 5, which means my plan for at least the next month is to release Homestuck posts on Sundays; this will include releasing a post on the 18th, this post series’ anniversary.

Here’s why: I think this semester, I might legitimately be somewhat swamped in school work. During the start of 2016, I talked about how I haven’t really experienced the effect of school work dampering all the cool fun Internet stuff, but now it has sort of affected work on my blog, at least to some degree. And it’s not just because of school work; alongside that, I’ve been participating in making music for the ever-growing Cool and New Webcomic soundtrack, which is one of the most fun things I’ve done in a long time. But what’s important is, I actually do have a decent load of homework and stuff to do each day, a load that I have a feeling may get bigger as my classes progress. With that in mind, I think weekly posts may be a reasonable thing to do for the time being.

You may be wondering, how far am I with my next Homestuck post? As of today (September 1), I am about 30% done; I’ll be sure to update this number as I go along. Though I’ve been sluggish on the post the past few days, I’ll probably be able to get quite a bit more done on the weekend, especially considering it’ll be the Labor Day weekend.

EDIT: I just made a cool ASCII progress meter to track how far I am with that post. Last updated September 5, 10:05 PM.

                                           100%
Start █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ Finish

EDIT 2 (September 3): My next post will either be delayed by a day or cover a little less content than I originally planned. I haven’t decided which yet but I’m leaning towards the latter.

EDIT 3 (September 4): I think I’ll have to end up doing motherfuckin’ both things. Next post coming tomorrow.

EDIT 4 (September 5): OK, next post is almost done done. I shortened the amount of pages covered even more than previous because god damn have I delayed this post long enough. Because of this, Act 6 Act 2 will be split into six parts instead of five, which I’ll explain further when I finish the post.

"Mulholland Drive" and Puzzle Stories

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I just watched the movie Mulholland Drive for my English class and I have some possibly interesting thoughts on it.

For starters, when I looked up stuff about the movie, it was talked up as “the best movie of the 21st century” in some very recent articles. After seeing it, I can give it credit for one particular thing: it’s the hardest to describe movie I’ve ever seen. Whenever I watch a movie, I read about it on Wikipedia or TV Tropes afterwards; the TV Tropes page on Mulholland Drive has a lot of stuff on it that sounds to me like crackpot theories, like the weird cowboy dude being a reality warper (what the hell?) or everything up to that one lady opening the box being a dream (how and why would that make sense?). Those theories are so bizarre that they make the movie even more confusing, which I am convinced is the point. It purports to be a mystery film of sorts with murder stories, but what’s confusing is, a lot of time is spent on one of the main characters trying her hand at being an actor, which seems to be a pointless interlude to me, but I’m almost definitely missing something. Not to mention that the murder scenes themselves also don’t clearly tie in to whatever semblance of a plot the movie has. Long story short: this is a confusing bizarre movie among confusing bizarre movies.

I believe Mulholland Drive is meant as a story that’s also a puzzle for viewers to decipher on their own. My solution to the puzzle is presently a flat and simple “I don’t fucking know”, which is only compounded by the fact that I’ve never been very good at understanding movies. Maybe that’ll change when I talk about it in class tomorrow? But for now that’s all I can say about this strange movie.

However, I’ll also say this: the “story that is also a puzzle” idea is a common interpretation of what Homestuck is. The present ending of the comic (which I’m not really a fan of) may especially have such a puzzle interpretation, with a lot of cryptic ambiguous events whose true meaning one can only deduce. There’s an “obvious” happy ending interpretation of those events, but that relies largely on a large number of leaps of logic, not to mention disregarding other story points (like the deal with the events of the claymation section); meanwhile, the less obvious interpretations, which I largely buy into, makes more logical sense but also makes the ending even less satisfying.

This may be an alright thing for the comic to do if not for the fact that as confusing as it can get at times, Homestuck still makes a clear effort to be comprehensible to readers most of the time; for instance, many animations or otherwise confusing events are followed by a character recapping what went down. So in this case, the ending as it stands could be thought of as an especially bizarre way to suddenly incorporate the Mulholland Drive puzzle story principle. The weird thing is, not only the events of Homestuck’s current finale themselves have a variety of interpretations, but why it’s the way it is also can be interpreted a number of ways. That’s something I’ll talk about another time but I’ve already discussed this sort of thing throughout my Homestuck posts.