The Obligatory Homestuck Epilogues Post, In Full

I am still burnt out on this blog, that’s still a thing. Only a week since hiatus and I already wince at the thought of reviving my Homestuck posts, especially on a platform that’s not convenient at all for hosting these posts. I’m sick of gaining pretty much no traction because Blogger and search engines go together like jelly and hot dogs. I currently plan on switching to a different platform, maybe even purchasing a personal web domain because I’m 20 and that’s what 20-year-olds do (EDIT: this has now been done). But for the time being, I might as well write a post providing my full thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues.

BRIEF SUMMARY

4/20, read through Meat: epilogues pretty good
4/20, started Candy: what the fuck
4/21, stopped: aaaaaaaaughhhhh bluh i hate everything
4/24-ish, continued Candy: epilogues alright i guess also i am sad now
4/27-ish, finished: I LOVE HOMESTUCK

BRIEF-ISH SUMMARY

Meat was a wild ride that started as cool plot stuff and things that make you go “OH FUCK”, continued as basically chapters 7-9 of Detective Pony (which I naturally enjoyed a lot), and ended as a mess of sheer chaos and destruction. My thought process ended as, “oh duh, this is the bad ending, candy must be the good ending”. I was in for quite the nasty surprise.

I quit reading Candy just a few pages in. It didn’t take long for it to suddenly become the weirdest fanfiction ever. Frustrated, I started skipping and searching through later parts and got rather salty when it turned out both sides were the “bad ending”. I saw firsthand what vfromhomestuck meant by “clear your whole week”: this is not something most people can just read in one sitting. Then I recovered a few days and read Candy in earnest, in a somewhat anachronous order and with many parts read multiple times. Slowly, I started to hope that the epilogues would be followed up with a true happy ending for real this time. I may or may not have written a snippet of some form of fanfiction paving the way for a happy ending.

Once I finally accomplished the equivalent of reading Candy as intended, I got hit HARD with feels. I accepted that the epilogues have many issues but as a whole (not just the sum of parts) are an absolute masterwork, sometimes because of those issues. It didn’t take me long to realize the brilliant duality either. Meat is a side-splitting metafictional farce that (for me at least) is impossible to treat as anything resembling a story of people doing things. Candy is a tale of FEELS, and I don’t use the word FEELS lightly. FEELS means I almost cried, like I did when I watched the Futurama episode Luck of the Fryrish.

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Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 67: Meet the Rad Dude with Rad Shades

Introduction

Part 66 | Part 67 | Part 68 >

Act 6 Act 2, Part 2 of 6

Pages 4437-4469, 4517-4537 (MSPA: 6337-6369, 6417-6437)

And a rad title refrance.

NOTE: My next few posts for Act 6 Act 2 will be divided as follows:   

  • One post for the rest of Dirk’s half of the selection screen (might be a shorter post than usual?)
  • One post for Roxy’s half of the selection screen
  • Two posts for the rest of the sub-act

I’m not sure if I’ll keep going with the every Sunday schedule or do something a bit faster. I keep forgetting that I stopped being able to maintain a steady posting schedule months ago, when I had that big school project in April and May. But I still feel tempted to say how often I’ll release posts regardless.  

You’ve clearly got some time to kill before your bffsy gets back from her emergency. Might as well do some casual reading. 

Rather than going through sylladex mishaps while waiting for Roxy to get back to her, Jane decides to read some books instead, presumably because she’s so “mature”. Seriously, everything she’s done so far has come off as unbelievably childish. The only thing that prevents her from reaching Vriska levels of immaturity is feeling bad about leaving her dad in suspense.

But there’s nothing casual about hoisting even an abridged Sassacre’s up to your lap, so forget that. There’s always GAME GRL. But the articles are all a bit vapid, and in your view, somewhat demeaning to female gamers, and women in general. You and Ro-Lal are convinced the whole thing is just written by the same odious d-bags who write GAME BRO. Which is exactly what makes it GOOD 4 THE ELL YOU ELLZ, her words. 

It’s clear that Game Grl is a completely satirical magazine, perhaps even more so than Game Bro considering how sexist it supposedly is. Its purported intended audience is gamer girls, but its actual intended audience is the same sorts of people who enjoy stuff like South Park.* This brings to mind the whole thing of layers of irony, which itself brings to mind Dave. With that in mind I have a new headcanon: in the scratched universe Dave is the creator of all those satirical gaming magazines.

* Roxy would probably fall into both categories (i.e. be motherfuckin’ both things).

Alright, it’s finally time for Detective Pony. Before we begin, I’d like to note something: for the sake of this post series, I’ll consider the fanmade full version of Detective Pony to be canon. Even though I consider it to be canon regardless.

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A gem of a blog I found

http://prettyprettyponies.blogspot.com

Yes I know the link sounds like a blog about My Little Pony before it became an Internet phenomenon. But it isn’t really that, more like something I find really hilariously amazing that it exists. To explain this awesome Internet find I’ll need to explain why I think it’s cool.

If you didn’t know, I’m currently working on a video series where I read aloud this edit of the Pony Pals book Detective Pony. The edited book originated as something from Homestuck, where one character edited Detective Pony to make it funnier and gave it to another character for her birthday. The first few edited pages were shown, and someone decided to edit the whole book, and it’s glorious.

When I find out about cool things, I tend to get way into them, which is why my big projects exist: my large number site, my Homestuck blog post series, and my Detective Pony video series. Recently I used Google Books to read bits and pieces of the original unmodified Pony Pals books, just to see how incredibly dull they are with clich├ęd plots and stuff. I know those books are meant for little kids so of course there will be dumb stuff, but it’s still really funny to read them.

So I decided to google things about Pony Pals, specifically seeing if every damn book mentions that Anna (one of the main characters) is dyslexic, a fact the books always seem to take a moment to bring up but is pretty much never relevant to the story as far as I know. The modified version of Detective Pony even parodies this by making Anna’s dyslexia very relevant to the plot 3/4 of the way through the story. In the aforementioned Google search, I came across the blog I linked to at the top of this post.

It’s an old blog which hasn’t been updated since 2011 where some teenage girl named Lauren first dissected all the Pony Pals books, then started dissecting other kids’ books. It actually reminds me a lot of my Homestuck blog post series: she commented (pretty negatively) on all the Pony Pals books, then the commentary gradually became less angry and more sincere to the point of having favorite and least favorite moments in the end. Later she wrote something which is apparently a fanfiction of the Pony Pals six years later when they’re in high school?

I’ve gotten pretty carried away with my Homestuck blog post series, and seeing a similar post series about Pony Pals is pretty enjoyable. I’ve thought of reading the whole Pony Pals book series just to see how ridiculous it is, and it looks like someone actually did that, with blogged commentary and everything!



As absurd as it may sound, I want to read that book series now.