Tag Archives: epilogues

The Obligatory Homestuck Epilogues Post, In Full

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I am still burnt out on this blog, that’s still a thing. Only a week since hiatus and I already wince at the thought of reviving my Homestuck posts, especially on a platform that’s not convenient at all for hosting these posts. I’m sick of gaining pretty much no traction because Blogger and search engines go together like jelly and hot dogs. I currently plan on switching to a different platform, maybe even purchasing a personal web domain because I’m 20 and that’s what 20-year-olds do (EDIT: this has now been done). But for the time being, I might as well write a post providing my full thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues.

BRIEF SUMMARY

4/20, read through Meat: epilogues pretty good
4/20, started Candy: what the fuck
4/21, stopped: aaaaaaaaughhhhh bluh i hate everything
4/24-ish, continued Candy: epilogues alright i guess also i am sad now
4/27-ish, finished: I LOVE HOMESTUCK

BRIEF-ISH SUMMARY

Meat was a wild ride that started as cool plot stuff and things that make you go “OH FUCK”, continued as basically chapters 7-9 of Detective Pony (which I naturally enjoyed a lot), and ended as a mess of sheer chaos and destruction. My thought process ended as, “oh duh, this is the bad ending, candy must be the good ending”. I was in for quite the nasty surprise.

I quit reading Candy just a few pages in. It didn’t take long for it to suddenly become the weirdest fanfiction ever. Frustrated, I started skipping and searching through later parts and got rather salty when it turned out both sides were the “bad ending”. I saw firsthand what vfromhomestuck meant by “clear your whole week”: this is not something most people can just read in one sitting. Then I recovered a few days and read Candy in earnest, in a somewhat anachronous order and with many parts read multiple times. Slowly, I started to hope that the epilogues would be followed up with a true happy ending for real this time. I may or may not have written a snippet of some form of fanfiction paving the way for a happy ending.

Once I finally accomplished the equivalent of reading Candy as intended, I got hit HARD with feels. I accepted that the epilogues have many issues but as a whole (not just the sum of parts) are an absolute masterwork, sometimes because of those issues. It didn’t take me long to realize the brilliant duality either. Meat is a side-splitting metafictional farce that (for me at least) is impossible to treat as anything resembling a story of people doing things. Candy is a tale of FEELS, and I don’t use the word FEELS lightly. FEELS means I almost cried, like I did when I watched the Futurama episode Luck of the Fryrish.

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My Homestuck posts are on real hiatus, for real, again

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It is with a heavy heart that I announce the following: my Homestuck blog post series is back on hiatus.

Not to spoil too much about the epilogues, but reading them was… intense.

I’ll try to avoid spoiling as much as I can so I’ll say: I started with meat. I really enjoyed reading it, but it ended as a sad mess of mindfuck. It did remind me of Detective Pony which was cool.

I started candy afterwards but quickly found it unreadable. Not that it’s bad, just that it’s a shameless dump of basically fanfiction. And by fanfiction I mean your usual run-of-the-mill fanfiction, not the holy trinity of literary masterworks that is cool and new web comic, Detective Pony, and Roxy’s Threesome Addiction. I skipped ahead a bit and skimmed a lot; the end of the candy epilogue is also sad.

I think I’m going to kind of not think about Homestuck much for a while. The absolute last thing I want to do is debate with people about the epilogues!!!!! This means I’m going to put my Homestuck posts on hiatus; both the absolute mess that is my regular posts I’ve done since 2015, and my rewritten posts.

During the coming months, I’ll do many other things. Some of those things might take place in a strange alien world known as “real life”. I’ll probably also dive deep into other media, which I have already been doing lately. And maybe I’ll read through my physical copy of Homestuck Book 3 like a normal person if I’m not going to write blog posts about it. 

I have one more Homestuck-related thing up my sleeve; specifically, something related to the comic’s music that I’ll post to YouTube. Till then, peace out. Those four months of returning to Homestuck and rambling about it like a lunatic were fun and I won’t forget them.

The Homestuck Epilogues: Initial Thoughts

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Happy 10th anniversary to Homestuck (again)!

First things first, the title of this post is a lie. My initial thoughts were as follows:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’m glad I was home alone reading this. I have something of a pattern regarding screaming at media while home alone. I was home alone when I fought Omega Flowey (or is it Photoshop Flowey?) in Undertale, and I screamed all the way through. I was home alone when I played all the way through Doki Doki Literature Club, and again I screamed all the way through. And I am so goddamn lucky that I was home alone when the beginning of the Homestuck epilogue went up. In the last few minutes leading up to 1:00 PM EST (EDT? fuck if I know), I listened to Sburban Jungle at full blast, so that near the end of the song the epilogue would go up. And that was when I started screaming.

My thoughts about the epilogue so far after all the screaming though… oh boy. Oh boy.

Wait fuck, I keep forgetting. It’s not the epilogue. It’s the epilogues, plural. Calling it “epilogues” instead of “epilogue” will take some getting used to.

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Cookie Fonster Says Stuff About His Homestuck Commentary 6: Over But Not Quite (the comic, not the post series)

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So today was the final update of Homestuck. Except it isn’t quite the ending, since Hussie talked about making a final epilogue in the future. It still left a lot of plot points unresolved and we’ll probably have to wait still more months for the grand epilogue, but that’s besides the point. The point is, I want to say stuff about my post series now that Homestuck is semi-finished.

I originally intended to make this post series once Homestuck is over, because with that, the posts wouldn’t feel incomplete with inaccurate predictions or stuff I could say now but couldn’t have said back before the comic ended. The comic was supposed to be fully finished when I started this post series, with all plot points resolved.

Except the plot points aren’t solved. We still don’t know:

  • what happened to Lord English
  • the full story of Caliborn’s timeline and how he became Lord English
  • the deal with the cherub universe vs. the one the kids created
  • the full story of how Gamzee’s timeline went down (like what happened to him after we last saw him in [S] Collide?)
  • what events came before and after Caliborn’s Masterpiece, or where exactly (like from which timeline) the kids there came from
  • what ultimately happened to the Green Sun or the god tier version of Calliope
  • the purpose of destroying the Green Sun
  • what Vriska and company did with the magic chest
  • whether Vriska and the other trolls will too settle on Earth
  • what’s going to happen to the ghosts from Game Over
  • which ships will be canon in the end (this is kind of a joke thing, but seriously, that sort of thing is usually answered in the end of stories like this*)
  • what happened to all the sprites
  • what happened to (John)
  • what happened to everyone else who didn’t enter the victory door (Ms. Paint, Jack Noir, the Felt, whoever else)
  • the whole deal with Karkat’s supposed universe leadership role which the flash didn’t address at all
  • the ramifications of Terezi gaining pre-retcon memories
  • the thing of restoring the troll race (or the human race for that matter)
  • what all the classes and aspects mean for our resident theorists
  • probably some other stuff I forgot to list
  • to say nothing of the smaller plot points that have been hanging for a while (here’s a list someone made of unresolved plot points).
  • and to say nothing of character interactions we’ve been hoping would happen but haven’t gotten yet. When will Jade get her touching young guardian reunion? When will Jade have her dialogue reunions with everyone else for that matter? When will the alpha kids, with their absolute social trainwreck, have their grand reconciliation?

* For one thing, it was practically guaranteed at this point that John would get together with Roxy by the end. The Act 7 flash kind of implied this? But only kind of.

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