Cookie Fonster Says Stuff About His Homestuck Commentary 6: Over But Not Quite (the comic, not the post series)

So today was the final update of Homestuck. Except it isn’t quite the ending, since Hussie talked about making a final epilogue in the future. It still left a lot of plot points unresolved and we’ll probably have to wait still more months for the grand epilogue, but that’s besides the point. The point is, I want to say stuff about my post series now that Homestuck is semi-finished.

I originally intended to make this post series once Homestuck is over, because with that, the posts wouldn’t feel incomplete with inaccurate predictions or stuff I could say now but couldn’t have said back before the comic ended. The comic was supposed to be fully finished when I started this post series, with all plot points resolved.

Except the plot points aren’t solved. We still don’t know:

  • what happened to Lord English
  • the full story of Caliborn’s timeline and how he became Lord English
  • the deal with the cherub universe vs. the one the kids created
  • the full story of how Gamzee’s timeline went down (like what happened to him after we last saw him in [S] Collide?)
  • what events came before and after Caliborn’s Masterpiece, or where exactly (like from which timeline) the kids there came from
  • what ultimately happened to the Green Sun or the god tier version of Calliope
  • the purpose of destroying the Green Sun
  • what Vriska and company did with the magic chest
  • whether Vriska and the other trolls will too settle on Earth
  • what’s going to happen to the ghosts from Game Over
  • which ships will be canon in the end (this is kind of a joke thing, but seriously, that sort of thing is usually answered in the end of stories like this*)
  • what happened to all the sprites
  • what happened to (John)
  • what happened to everyone else who didn’t enter the victory door (Ms. Paint, Jack Noir, the Felt, whoever else)
  • the whole deal with Karkat’s supposed universe leadership role which the flash didn’t address at all
  • the ramifications of Terezi gaining pre-retcon memories
  • the thing of restoring the troll race (or the human race for that matter)
  • what all the classes and aspects mean for our resident theorists
  • probably some other stuff I forgot to list
  • to say nothing of the smaller plot points that have been hanging for a while (here’s a list someone made of unresolved plot points).
  • and to say nothing of character interactions we’ve been hoping would happen but haven’t gotten yet. When will Jade get her touching young guardian reunion? When will Jade have her dialogue reunions with everyone else for that matter? When will the alpha kids, with their absolute social trainwreck, have their grand reconciliation?

* For one thing, it was practically guaranteed at this point that John would get together with Roxy by the end. The Act 7 flash kind of implied this? But only kind of.

With all these parts left hanging, most especially that Lord English hasn’t seen his demise, there is NO WAY this can really be the absolute end. When the update was first posted, people complained about how incomplete of an ending this was, and when Hussie edited the news post to talk about how there will be an epilogue, there was quite some relief but people were still dissatisfied for probably having to wait more months for the true ending when we were quite sure that today would be the ultimate end.

I suspect that the epilogue of Homestuck will be of a similar nature to that of Problem Sleuth, firmly showing what everyone’s up to, even all the super-minor characters as Problem Sleuth did. In fact, the ending of Homestuck is remarkably similar to that of Problem Sleuth, both having the “ending” as finally accomplishing the simple end goal—for Problem Sleuth it’s escaping the office, and for Homestuck it’s entering the new universe—and then having a further epilogue of some sort. Both even have “thanks for playing” around the “ending”.

So what does all this have to do with my post series? Well, consider this: if you’re reading this post series, it means you’re probably pretty into Homestuck. By association, that means you’d probably be pretty thirsty for some kind of Homestuck material during that epilogue pause. Maybe you’re well-versed in fan works, maybe you’re not. But whether or not you are, I think keeping up with a guy making blog posts saying possibly insightful things about the comic might be a decent way to satiate the hunger of the Homestuck fan.

I think I can get by posting about at least the rest of Act 5 before the epilogue happens, but once I get to Act 6, I think I’d rather make those posts once the comic is finished. This begs the question: where would I be once the epilogue is posted?

We currently really don’t know how long the epilogue will take to produce. Let’s say it takes about 6 months, which I think is a fairly pessimistic prediction. In that case, after 6 months I would be around page 7100, which would be nearing the Openbound games featuring the pre-scratch trolls, a good way into Act 6. But if it only takes two months, by then I would be around page 5900, near the end of Act 5. The point is, who knows how long the epilogue will take? This purported ending is kind of a sucky place to be left hanging.

In any case, here’s something else I’d like to say. I’m pretty pumped for posting about Act 6 since, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ll have a lot to say about all the stuff in it, and I plan on dissecting it very intensely. But for now I still need to go through the stuff in Act 5. At my current rate, doing so would take two or three months, which is a fair amount of time.

So I’ll like to speed up my Act 5 posts somewhat. Instead of having 40-50 pages per post and sometimes fewer than that, I’ll see if I can get up to 60-70 pages per post. That may reduce the time it takes by a month or so. I don’t know, we’ll see.

I hope you enjoy my following posts during however long the epilogue pause will be; next post will be April 17 April 19 April 20. Happy 4/13 everyone!

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