Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 4 Rewritten: Haunting Voices and Coolkid Mishaps

Introduction

Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 >

Act 2, Part 1 of 5

Pages 248-357 (MSPA: 2148-2257)

Link to old version

Keeping this post’s title the same as before. Couldn’t think of a better one.
Also, just warning you: this post is HUGE.

Before we begin Act 2, I’m going to talk about John, then talk about Rose. It’s a longstanding tradition for me to talk at length about characters when they are first introduced, but it’s a little difficult to do with the first two main characters this early on so I’ll talk about them now instead.

I love John Egbert. Have I ever said that? He is a protagonist done right and is the best character other than Caliborn. In many works of media, the protagonist is the main focus but the one people love the most is a wacky side character or someone else in the main group. But in this comic, none of the other three kids I think have quite the same charm as John. Almost every protagonist of the comic’s story arcs (John, Spades Slick, Karkat, Roxy, Meenah) has a distinct kind of charm to them. In Roxy’s case, she wasn’t the original protagonist of her group, but retroactively became the true protagonist because she was the one that turned out to have the most “protagonist charm”. I relate to John a lot; he is extremely honest and doesn’t believe in anything that’s too weird, confusing, or depressing, whether it be complex romance*, Rose’s interest in dark things, or impending inevitable doom. Naturally enough, John is airheaded a lot of the time, but maybe a bit less than you’d think. If you see him lying about something, usually he’s lying to himself, denying something he doesn’t want to be true.

* His later romantic dynamic with Roxy is not complex at all! Just a girl who is as pure-hearted and silly as he is. If Karkat’s explanation is anything to go by, same goes with Terezi blackways.

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Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 13 Rewritten: Avenging the Fallen Casino

Introduction

< Part 12.2 | Part 13 | Part 14 >

Intermission, Part 1 of 2

Pages 1154-1264 (MSPA: 3054-3164)

Link to old version

It’s time to start Act 2!

Just kidding.

OK so here’s the deal. In the Homestuck community reread, we’re doing the first half of the Midnight Crew intermission today. Partway through reading the intermission, I suddenly realized just how good it is. So good that I decided to skip to the intermission in my rewritten blog posts and slog through Act 2 later. Yes you read that right: I’m not skipping the intermission, but skipping to the intermission.

Act 2 was a little boring at parts, but Act 3 was a lot more fun and enjoyable and ended with an AMAZING flash. The intermission though, I’m suddenly in love with everything about it so I’ll jump right in and blog about it, this time doing this story arc the justice it deserves. This post will cover the first half of the intermission and next post will cover the second half.

Your name is SPADES SLICK.

If there’s any doubt that Homestuck is best experienced reread over and over, the intermission shatters that doubt. The first time reading it, it’s kind of weird and confusing, a complete departure from the first three acts. But the more you reread it, the better it somehow becomes.

Our new protagonist is Spades Slick, leader of the Midnight Crew. His introduction page goes like so:

Your name is SPADES SLICK. You are the leader of a notoriously vicious gang of mobsters called the MIDNIGHT CREW. A rival gang known as THE FELT recently knocked over one of your favorite casinos. Your long quest of revenge has finally taken you through the front door of the mansion belonging to their loathsome boss, LORD ENGLISH. 

Your subordinates, CLUBS DEUCE, DIAMONDS DROOG, and HEARTS BOXCARS have been dispatched to various locations throughout the mansion to begin carrying out your mission. Your objective is to locate and crack English’s SECRET VAULT, and plunder its mysteries. 

That’s the business end of it. The pleasure will be painting this ugly house red with the blood of those miserable green motherfuckers.

The new setting is introduced masterfully. Every detail of everything is something that’s never even been hinted at before. Well OK, we did meet the Midnight Crew as characters in Hussie’s in-universe webcomic but that doesn’t count, because this time the setting is nothing like the old comic. Everything is colored green and based on stock images, with a whole new set of enemies and a mention of what seems to be the final boss of this arc. The premise is all based around the destruction of a casino; since Slick is an iteration of Jack Noir, he’ll stop at nothing to get revenge. Is it any wonder that this guy is such a fan favorite?

Yeah I know, blah blah blah, the intermission seems to be unrelated to the main storyline at first but it actually is related. I’ll go over this arc and its connection to the acts as I go along. Also Slick characterizes Jack Noir, blah blah blah, I’ll go over this characterization as I go along too. Don’t have time for nonsense.

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Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck Commentary Part 78: Jailbreak but it’s with an angry knife guy and about ten times more morbid

Introduction

Part 77 | Part 78 | Part 79 >

Act 6 Act 3, Part 4 of probably way more than 8

Pages 4878-4924 (MSPA: 6778-6824) (dear god how did I go over a week without fixing those question marks and all those other mistakes at the start of the post)

You wake up locked in a deserted jail cell…

We now start this whole Jailbreak throwback interlude with Jack in his jail cell and yeah I have basically nothing to say about this. I guess I could say that when I first read the comic I thought this was supposed to be 40 pages of Jake reading Jailbreak on his computer. Don’t get me wrong, I make dumb misconceptions like this all the time.*

* For instance, if you don’t mind me talking about Undertale I thought one of the royal guard guys was that Alphys person people were talking about and that I’d have to kill them and go through a bunch of emotional bullshit like I did with Undyne.

Also my first impression of practically everyone in the game was that they’re evil and/or creepy.

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Cookie Fonster’s Problem Sleuth Commentary Part 3: Imagination Cooperation Station

Introduction

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 >

Chapter 4

Pages 230–327 (MSPA: 448–545)

NOTE: Before leaving for my next vacation, I will publish only one more Homestuck post, not two.  

You are now Pickle Inspector.

Pickle Inspector, the last main character of Problem Sleuth, has some things in common with Jade, the last main character of Homestuck. Both start off the story already well engaged in the comics’ respective game mechanics: Pickle Inspector spends a lot of time in the imaginary world, and Jade spends a lot of time in the dream world; both are also the only characters who started that sort of thing (PI building a fort, and Jade’s dream self waking up) before the story began. Though I don’t think very many people are aware of the parallels, I can’t imagine the author didn’t create Jade’s character with Pickle Inspector in mind.

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