Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 2 Rewritten: The Fatherly Miniboss

Introduction

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 >

Act 1, Part 2 of 3

Pages 47-137 (MSPA: 1947-2037)

Link to old version

Most of the title pictures for these rewritten posts are probably going to be the same as the old versions. 
Most of the titles for these rewritten posts are probably not going to be the same as the old versions. 

NOTE: This is still not a restart of my Homestuck post series. I’m only rewriting my first 27 posts to better match them with my current quality standards. Post 83 is planned for late March!

Also, my first 27 posts now list the new homestuck.com page numbers as well as the old MSPA page numbers. Hope I’ll do the rest soon enough.

John leaves his room, and here’s our first impression of his father. A slightly crazy guy that likes comedians, pranks, and clowns. This is where I stop having the impression Hussie just came up with things right off the bat and expanded upon them later; I’m almost certain he always intended for these clowns to become a plot point. Either that, or he decided the harlequin doll was a fun idea to put in the sprite and it naturally progressed into something big from there. I can tell Hussie had too much fun writing the scene with Gamzee where it turned out everything tied together.

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Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 1 Rewritten: Bedroom Screwaround Session, Rewritten

Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 >

Act 1, Part 1 of 3

Pages 1-46 (MSPA: 1901-1946)

NOTE: This is not a restart of my Homestuck post series. It’s just an experiment where I try going through the beginning of the comic in the style of my most recent Homestuck posts. My next Homestuck post (EDIT: that isn’t a rewrite) will continue where I left off at Act 6 Act 3. 

I made this almost a month ago and was originally going to release this alongside some other stuff, but I kind of abandoned the other stuff so enjoy this on its own instead. I feel like it’s in the spirit of the /r/homestuck community reread that’s going on right now.

“Bedroom Screwaround Session, Remastered” is already taken, god damn it.

Homestuck’s starting page… everyone who’s been invested in the comic knows how it goes. “A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man’s birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?” The beginning of Homestuck builds off the intro of the prior MS Paint Adventures, by introducing a protagonist in a simple setting, but quite a bit more elaborate than prior.

I would go into more detail about this opening page, but the beginning of the comic is kind of hard to talk about without comparing it to later parts so I think I’ll go sparse on commentating on all the useless nonsense. Not to mention that way too many Homestuck analyses similar to this one start strong by dissecting this simple first page and then fall off.

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Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 3: Bizarro Real-Life Sims Interface

Introduction

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 >

Pages 138-247 (MSPA: 2038-2147)

Act 1, Part 3 of 3

NEW: Link to rewritten version (I recommend you read it instead of this post)

A weird game indeed.

Where were we? John just installed Sburb, and bam, he and Rose can now play it. Immediately you’ll notice a glaring oddity of the game: it lets Rose mess around with John’s house from afar in a Sims-inspired game interface. It’s already obvious that Sburb is not an ordinary game. The first thing Rose does is accidentally move John’s magic chest to his roof. Then she starts deploying a bunch of weird devices around John’s house as she talks to him about the game. What the hell is going on here you wonder loudly.

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Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 2: Pointless Game Disk Sneakaround

Introduction

< Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 >

Pages 47-137 (MSPA: 1947-2037)

Act 1, Part 2 of 3

Link to rewritten version (I recommend you read the rewritten post instead of this)

Here’s a retroactive “title picture” to streamline this blog series a bit (see post 30 for an explanation of these). You’ll see a lot of these soon, unless the first picture I previously used in the post already makes a good title picture.

One-man birthday party?

Continuing from where we left off, John leaves his bedroom to go to the first floor of his house, to sneak around and obtain his discs of Sburb. We see a living room filled with clown pictures which suggest that his father is obsessed with clowns, a birthday present, and his grandmother’s ashes. It’s also mentioned for the first time that John hates Betty Crocker, marking the first indirect mention of one of the comic’s main villains, although the whole evil Betty Crocker thing would for a long time thereafter remain merely a joke. Besides the numerous clowns, there isn’t much remarkable in John’s living room, especially compared to what we see with the other kids.

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Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 1: Bedroom Screwaround Session

< IntroductionPart 1 | Part 2 >

Pages 1-46 (MSPA: 1901-1946)


Act 1, Part 1 of 3


UPDATE (2/13/2019): Check out my rewritten version of this post!
I recommend you read the rewritten post instead of this.

A young man stands in his bedroom…

Homestuck opens up with a picture as mundane as can be: a nerdy-looking 13-year-old birthday boy standing in his bedroom, looking left and right and blinking his eyes, and drawn in an odd “stubby” fashion that conceals his arms, as the text below reads: “A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man’s birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?” These famed words that open Homestuck insinuate that the boy doesn’t have a name until now, and that we will give him a name. As it turns out, this is a joke, since the boy has called himself “John” since a few years before the story started.

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