Finally an actual hiatus for Homestuck posts

As you can probably tell by now I’m low on motivation for my Homestuck posts right now. Some other time I’ll probably do them again but for now I might not do them until, I don’t know, May or so? Right now I’m distracted by a lot of things, schoolwork and otherwise. I could probably do more of these posts late in my school year and during the summer. Then I’ll be going to college and who knows what’ll happen.

I’ve had all these ideas for making these posts better but due to my distractions, when I have been working on them I didn’t even think of bringing these ideas to fruition. Still I really feel I could be doing better with them, as in having a less slow and inconsistent release schedule. When the time is right it’ll happen.

Rant about Homestuck snaps

12/29/2016: I’m going to write a tiny bit more and then release what I have of my next post because I’ve delayed them way too long already.

For the past two months we’ve gotten Homestuck material presented to us via Snapchat stuff and it’s frightening for practically every reason imaginable.

It all started with the credits, which I have very mixed feelings about right now, but at the time they relieved my salt about Act 7 which felt pretty mystical. Then there were Halloween snaps a few days after the credits, before the deeper problems with them started to sink in for me. A few mildly cringey references aside, the Halloween stuff was further salt relief because it was pretty much a bunch of fun fluff.

But then came 11/11, the fifth anniversary of Act 6, and, uh…

OK let me put it like this. That series of snaps started with Jane at Crockercorp and felt like they would be mystical (holy mother of god her doing important stuff!), but instead they turned into what I’m pretty sure was supposed to be a bunch of pleasant happy fluff. But it was actually the kind of stuff that pretends to be cute and fun but actually freaks you out completely. I’ll admit, on that day I was too distracted by shipping stuff to pay attention to the underlying problems with this method of media presentation that would come into full view later on. But look, I’m not the biggest fan of the story acting like random ships that came out of nowhere (in this case Roxy and Calliope) suddenly were always meant to be a thing, is that hard to understand. It’s just a pretty dumb way to present story material in general.

After those snaps happened, people were theorizing and anticipating resolution about Jane being kidnapped or whatever happened, but I found it hard to care about it or treat it like actually relevant material. It’s just hard to treat the Snapchat material as part of Homestuck for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it’s run by Hussie’s associates, not the man himself. Also because it isn’t posted on the MSPA website or anything.

Second person narration, dear god why…

After that we got snaps on Thanksgiving focusing on Jack Noir. I actually enjoyed them in and of themselves, because Jack is all around an enjoyable character. But the problems with them are especially multi-layered. First and foremost, it feels pretty gut-wrenching seeing Slick replaced in role entirely with this version of Jack without anyone saying a word. But even if you ignore that entirely, those snaps use second person narration for some reason which doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense. Between this and the snaps being all around way too wordy, it’s clear that this is really just meant to be a fun and new way to present Homestuck material. But it’s not that fun when you don’t have a phone anywhere near good enough to install Snapchat on and have to either consume one every hour or click your way through a dozen Reddit posts to take a look at the snaps. I know that’s not necessarily what you have to do but you get the idea: it’s hard to digest them anything resembling the way one can peruse the actual comic.

But the ultimate problem with having this stuff is as follows: it’s actually plot-relevant stuff, presented in this crummy format. I don’t know much about how Snapchat works but I’m pretty sure the pictures delete themselves after a day so I don’t have a clue what the people who run this are thinking. Nor do I have any idea whether they’re going to be posted again as part of the comic, which I’d rather not have happen because (1) the whole story turning into Snapchat stuff would be the absolute worst and (2) the material in the snaps still feels pretty tangential and disjointed from the comic. Plus, treating these snaps as not part of the comic makes me feel better about the stuff in them that doesn’t make me that happy.

Uh, what.

It all came together just a few days ago when we got the hardest to follow plotline ever seen. I don’t know what happened in it but I’ve heard people talk about Jane giving Jack her old tiaratop and controlling him, or something? I’m not going to lie, it feels like they’re talking about a whole different comic.

A big part of this sequence being hard to follow is how much stuff was happening at once. It’s obviously supposed to seem cool and awesome but instead it’s confusing. Not confusing as in some kind of crazy time loop, but confusing as in you just can’t tell what’s supposed to be going on. The text in those snaps is also extremely distracting, and I’m fairly certain it’s pretty far removed from how people actually use Snapchat, which again makes it feel like it’s really just a new way to present Homestuck material even though it’s bad.

But the ultimate problem with the writing in the snaps is as follows: it feels like the guy who’s writing them is trying way too hard to make the characters sound like themselves. Practically every single snap is captioned with just way too much text and I’m like, is that really how the characters talk?

Bottom line: At first these snaps seemed just like enjoyable filler material but now everything is going sideways in a really confusing way. That’s actually how I would describe all of Homestuck since the retcon happened, but maybe something worth it will come out of this? At this point I’d almost be completely OK if the whole rest of Homestuck from here on out is just Caliborn gloating at us.

Further Reflection on the Homestuck Credits

It’s been a while since I released my last Homestuck re-read post. I’m still working on my next one, which I’d like to release around Wednesday probably Friday is more realistic I don’t know when. In the mean time I’m going to ramble a little about the credits, which I had given my thoughts on the day they were released.

When the credits came out, I felt considerably less salty about late Homestuck overall. However, that effect was only temporary. I would love to say I’m happy with how they happened, because there really were some delightful and pleasant surprises. However, that flaw with them I’ve talked about—John’s potential relationship with Roxy not being addressed—is just so glaring and invites a lot of unsettling implications. I know it’s a ship and all but considering how all other plausible major ones (and then some) are given decent bait—even the one I absolutely hate was handled in a way I’m happy with—I actually am pretty bewildered about that.

And it’s not just a ship that makes me have problems with the credits as they stand. In the last two minutes or so, we get implications that the kids might not be that close anymore, with pairs or trios that seem to mostly hang out with each other, such as Rose and Kanaya, Dirk and Jake, and (dear god why) Roxy and Calliope. I’m pretty sure that’s not how friendships are supposed to work, and it’s pretty unsettling to think about, especially due to how vague it all is. Do they all live in separate kingdoms scattered around the world? How much does the kingdom ruling thing actually mean? What happened to that one ship I have a bit of a soft spot for? And most of all, is John doing alright?

I used to be unable to rationally watch Act 7, but with more and more endgame material I’ve come to accept it as a false ending with more to it than you think. For one thing, there’s not a shred of doubt in my mind that Lord English wasn’t actually killed, and it’s quite likely we have more of Caliborn’s story to go through. However, I’m presently kind of unable to watch the credits due to my salt being transferred.

Bottom line: I’m a little worried about all this.

Homestuck Mini-Post: Why I Didn’t Discuss "It could kill a cat if you dropped it"

One of the most famous bits of foreshadowing in Homestuck is when only 32 pages into the comic, it’s stated that this one book could kill a cat if you dropped it, which happens over four thousand pages later. But I didn’t at all talk about that bit of foreshadowing, not in my first post where that bit of foreshadowing happens or any other time that cat’s death is hinted at. I only ever mentioned it one time in a tangent about retroactive foreshadowing.

Why didn’t I talk about it those other potential times in my post series? Because I didn’t really feel like pointing out stuff readers probably know already. That sentiment didn’t change at all between my first post and my recent posts, but here’s a thing about that: if my early posts were as detailed as my latest posts I probably would’ve discussed that bit but in terms of something people already know.

When talking about the blatant hints leading up to Jaspers’ onscreen death I probably could’ve mentioned the thing from early on as a sort of “bonus” hint for attentive readers. But upon the closer inspection I got from rereading I decided that hint is pretty far removed from all the other hints much closer to the event, and probably serves mostly as something meant for people to catch while rereading the comic.

Thoughts on the Homestuck Ending Credits

Today Homestuck updated with a short interactive page, followed by a credit roll plus photo montage. And you know what? I actually truly honest to god enjoyed it. My reaction to it was much like my initial reaction to Collide: it made me forget all my salt about late Homestuck, which is kind of a mystical effect. The update addresses a lot of things Act 7 left unresolved, like bringing back the human and troll races and what happened to Terezi; it even gives Jane and Jake a semblance of satisfying arc resolutions!

But the end credits and Collide both had a certain flaw that make them almost perfect. In Collide that flaw is Slick getting killed off; the end credits, meanwhile, don’t at all address John’s blatant romantic tease with Roxy, which is saying a lot because the credits feature two characters getting married, which feels surreal to even say. But since I don’t like being pessimistic about hopes for the future of Homestuck, I’m still hoping that pairing is addressed somehow in the epilogue. I would say more but the next post after the one I’m working on is a PERFECT time to discuss that ship.

Despite that problem, the end credits make me a good deal less salty about Act 7, something that should logically be impossible but somehow isn’t. Now what do those credits mean for this post series? Pretty much what the first Homestuck updates after I started this post series meant: I’ll have more stuff to think about differently in retrospect, and might complain about stuff a tiny bit less?

Happy Cascade Day everyone.

Homestuck 10/25 Teaser Analysis

So if you’re active on the Homestuck subreddit or whatever then I’m sure you’ve seen this thing:

It seriously looks like Hussie art! That’s a pretty good sign.

There’s no way this isn’t a teaser for the “post-canon content” coming tomorrow, on the ever-fabled Cascade Day. And this image is kind of worth analyzing in terms of which characters Hussie cares about.

First off, Jade isn’t there. Neither is Jane, or Jake, or Terezi. All those characters have been criticized for not getting good character development; many believe the author doesn’t care about them as much as others. It’s kind of hilarious when you think about it; this image is pretty solid indication of which characters Hussie does and doesn’t care about.

  • John goes without saying as the protagonist of the comic. Roxy as well since she’s such a popular character. The image clearly presents them as ringleaders with how they’re in front.
  • Rose and Kanaya are basically the number 1 ship in the comic in terms of being a thing so they kind of go without saying too.
  • Dave and Karkat are a controversial ship the comic loves shoving in our faces in really weird ways. But Hussie seems to think fans like that? Sure, the ship has some sort of crazy cult popularity, but to many people (myself included) it comes across as super forced.
  • And Dirk… Dirk is cool I guess? He isn’t paired up with anyone but it’s obvious Hussie cares about him enough to add him to the picture. It’s kind of amusing he’s just sort of there.

Oh wait another teaser just came out as I was about to publish this post but I’ll talk about it some other time. Here’s me hoping the upcoming Homestuck material is good.

Happy first birthday to my Homestuck post series

My next Homestuck post, which will be the post series’ anniversary special, will be released Tuesday or so. For now enjoy this cool picture I made to celebrate:

As you can see, I’ve come a long way since starting my post series, with my posts becoming ever more detailed analysis and commentary on the comic as time passed. At first, new posts covering 100 pages twice a week was kind of a slow schedule for me; now, even new posts covering 50 pages every week is a bit much for me to keep up with, because my posts are just so detailed these days. And it’s all thanks to me getting carried away with projects.

If I keep posting at the rate I’m going, this post series will last for maybe another year and a half before I reach the end; that is, if the epilogue doesn’t happen by then, which I highly doubt. At the end of year 2, I’d probably be in early Act 6 Act 6 (around page 8400), going by a rough estimate of 40 pages covered each week. This means I have quite a way to go before my posts devolve into endless rants about the problems with the retcon and Vriska and the ship I always moan about and Act 7 and all that shit. Will I live up to those predictions? Only time will tell.

Cookie Fonster Says Stuff About His Homestuck Commentary 6: Over But Not Quite (the comic, not the post series)



So today was the final update of Homestuck. Except it isn’t quite the ending, since Hussie talked about making a final epilogue in the future. It still left a lot of plot points unresolved and we’ll probably have to wait still more months for the grand epilogue, but that’s besides the point. The point is, I want to say stuff about my post series now that Homestuck is semi-finished.

I originally intended to make this post series once Homestuck is over, because with that, the posts wouldn’t feel incomplete with inaccurate predictions or stuff I could say now but couldn’t have said back before the comic ended. The comic was supposed to be fully finished when I started this post series, with all plot points resolved.


Except the plot points aren’t solved. We still don’t know:

  • what happened to Lord English
  • the full story of Caliborn’s timeline and how he became Lord English
  • the deal with the cherub universe vs. the one the kids created
  • the full story of how Gamzee’s timeline went down (like what happened to him after we last saw him in [S] Collide?)
  • what events came before and after Caliborn’s Masterpiece, or where exactly (like from which timeline) the kids there came from
  • what ultimately happened to the Green Sun or the god tier version of Calliope
  • the purpose of destroying the Green Sun
  • what Vriska and company did with the magic chest
  • whether Vriska and the other trolls will too settle on Earth
  • what’s going to happen to the ghosts from Game Over
  • which ships will be canon in the end (this is kind of a joke thing, but seriously, that sort of thing is usually answered in the end of stories like this*)
  • what happened to all the sprites
  • what happened to (John)
  • what happened to everyone else who didn’t enter the victory door (Ms. Paint, Jack Noir, the Felt, whoever else)
  • the whole deal with Karkat’s supposed universe leadership role which the flash didn’t address at all
  • the ramifications of Terezi gaining pre-retcon memories
  • the thing of restoring the troll race (or the human race for that matter)
  • what all the classes and aspects mean for our resident theorists
  • probably some other stuff I forgot to list
  • to say nothing of the smaller plot points that have been hanging for a while (here’s a list someone made of unresolved plot points).
  • and to say nothing of character interactions we’ve been hoping would happen but haven’t gotten yet. When will Jade get her touching young guardian reunion? When will Jade have her dialogue reunions with everyone else for that matter? When will the alpha kids, with their absolute social trainwreck, have their grand reconciliation?

* For one thing, it was practically guaranteed at this point that John would get together with Roxy by the end. The Act 7 flash kind of implied this? But only kind of.

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"The Why of Fry" Reminds Me of Homestuck (and to a lesser extent Phineas and Ferb)

Top: foreshadowing.
Bottom: also foreshadowing.

For the past month or so I’ve been watching all episodes of Futurama in order. And I have to say, it’s one of my favorite shows. It turned out that there’s A LOT more episodes I hadn’t already seen than I thought. The Luck of the Fryrish made me tear up and is my favorite episode so far, Jurassic Bark was FUCKING SAD, and The Why of Fry is also really memorable because it heavily reminds me of the story webcomic Homestuck with its stable time loops and revelations of characters’ involvement in past events. Here I’ll go over these similarities because they really are pretty striking.

“You are the chosen one!”

At the start of the episode, Fry feels like a useless tool, with his crewmates accomplishing more than usual without him at their side. But then the mysterious little pet alien Nibbler takes Fry to his home planet where he learns that he is the most important man in the universe because he has brain attack immunities that arise from him being his own grandfather. Being the “chosen one” is also a theme in Homestuck; all of the major characters would be considered chosen ones. Out of the whole population of Earth, four nerdy teenagers are given the quest of creating a universe in the guise of a new video game. John, the protagonist of Homestuck, is also in a sense his own grandfather (having created all the guardians who in turn were cloned to create the four kids), but unlike Fry, who FREAKED THE FUCK OUT when he realized this fact, he took that revelation pretty lightly, merely thinking it’s a little strange.

But wait, it gets better, a lot better.

“That was a (Nibbler/Vriska) thing!”

We later learn that Nibbler was behind Fry getting frozen a thousand years in the future, an iconic event that at first seemed like a pure accident. This instantly reminded me of how Vriska in Homestuck loves involving herself in important plot events, such as Jade constantly falling asleep, Bec the omnipotent dog getting created, and Jack Noir turning into an omnipotent dog. The first two of those events are especially noteworthy because at first we didn’t know Vriska was behind those, just like we didn’t know Nibbler was behind Fry getting frozen.

This isn’t all Nibbler was behind. It turns out he did the I.C. Wiener “prank call” that led Fry to the cryogenics building. I have to say, that was a BRILLIANT plot twist which I previously did not know of at all. This further supports the whole idea that Nibbler is Vriska. I don’t mean he literally is Vriska, just that they have a lot in common.


Nibbler and Vriska are both pretty strongly foreshadowed as shown in the picture at the beginning top of this post. Nibbler is literally foreshadowed when his shadow appears as Fry is about to get frozen in the first episode. The title card page of Homestuck (which is 82 pages in) has the sun symbol that Vriska wears on her god tier outfit, which the author stated retroactively foreshadows her. Some argue retroactive foreshadowing doesn’t count but it’s close enough for me.


Going on, when we get a closer look at what went on when Fry was frozen, we see that future Fry went back in time in an attempt to catch Nibbler and stop this moment. He finds Nibbler under the table, argues with him about whether to freeze his past self, and as it turns out, he (not Nibbler as suggested earlier in the episode) blows on the chair at the last second, causing it to tip and his past self to fall in the tube as we saw, effectively not changing the past. Being unable to change the past is very much a thing in Homestuck (with a few exceptions), as are stable time loops.

“Nobody can know this useful information!”

Towards the end of the episode, Nibbler takes Fry back to Earth and wipes his memories of this whole experience. This is yet another thing that reminds me of Homestuck. In Homestuck it’s sort of a recurring theme that characters refuse to share useful information they know. For instance, Jade always hid her knowledge of the future from John, apparently because doing so would mess up the timeline, but I STILL don’t see the harm in telling him. Likewise, Nibbler pretends to be an adorable mindless little creature rather than the almighty universe maintainer he is.

This part also reminds me of Phineas and Ferb, a show I used to watch pretty often. Perry the Platypus has a similar thing going on to Nibbler: for some reason he can’t let the kids know that he’s a secret agent. The movie “Across the 2nd Dimension” explores what would happen if the kids found out (and like The Why of Fry, ends with the kids’ memories being erased); although I’m sure the movie makes it clear why the kids can’t know that Perry is a secret agent and I remember pretty well how the movie goes, I can’t remember why exactly they that fact has to be a secret.