I’ve shilled Detective Pony and cool and new web comic, both ABSOLUTE MASTERWORKS, on this blog far too many times, but there’s a third Homestuck fanfiction that everyone who liked anything about the comic should read, that I never shilled on my blog until today. I hope it’s a suitable Christmas present for anyone following this blog.

Behold the glorious Roxy’s Threesome Addiction. As the title (and the content warning) suggests, the fanfic is not safe for work, but don’t let that scare you. I’m not normally into sexual fanfiction in the slightest, so that should indicate how good it is.

Roxy’s Threesome Addiction answers the question everyone (read: nobody) has been asking: what happens when stereotypical smut is written by someone that understands Homestuck character writing through and through? It’s absolutely hilarious, I can’t stress enough how much I love everything about. Every character’s personality (especially John and Dave, most prominently featured) is nailed perfectly; the only one that acts out of character is Roxy, which is excusable because as the title suggests, she has gotten into a crazy threesome addiction and the story revolves around this strange behavior.

The story starts with a level of adult content that is little more than people loosely discussing sex, but gradually becomes basically on the level of normal porn; if you read the story, it’s probably OK if you stop at whatever part makes you feel uncomfortable, like I did. But if you skip parts of it, there’s one part that you should read at all costs: the conversation at the start of Chapter 6 (aka Part 5). It’s too good. Really, I think you should man up and read the whole thing regardless, even if the sexual content is a bit much for one sitting. I can’t overstate how good it is.

Merry Christmas everyone.