Cookie Fonster Critiques Homestuck Part 1: Bedroom Screwaround Session

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Pages 1-46 (MSPA: 1901-1946)


Act 1, Part 1 of 3


Link to rewritten version

A young man stands in his bedroom…

Homestuck opens up with a picture as mundane as can be: a nerdy-looking 13-year-old birthday boy standing in his bedroom, looking left and right and blinking his eyes, and drawn in an odd “stubby” fashion that conceals his arms, as the text below reads: “A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man’s birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?” These famed words that open Homestuck insinuate that the boy doesn’t have a name until now, and that we will give him a name. As it turns out, this is a joke, since the boy has called himself “John” since a few years before the story started.

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New post series! (Cookie Fonster’s Homestuck post series introduction)

One day, I decided to start a blog post series in which I critique the popular story webcomic Homestuck as I read all the way through it for the third time. By critique, I meant that I would mostly review and discuss the stuff in it, but not really negatively, since I’m a pretty big fan of Homestuck. However, as I progressed through my re-read, the posts grew to be in-depth commentary on the comic, to the point where I wish I posted that way the entire time. That said, over the years I’ve been faced with the truth that my Homestuck blog posts have evolved over time, both the writing style and the opinions I express, and while I had at one point started a project to rewrite the first 27 posts, I no longer plan on finishing that. My Homestuck blog post series began in September 2015, and after numerous pauses and burnouts, I finished the post series in September 2021. The post series is meant for people who have read Homestuck in its entirety, because the posts will contain spoilers for stuff that happens later.

Before we begin, I’d like to give a shout-out to this blog known only as “Let’s Re-Read Homestuck”, the blog that inspired this post series. It’s a very well-written unfinished Homestuck reread blog that you should check out if you like my posts. Also check out Fletcher Wortmann’s It’s Hard and Nobody Understands, another excellent unfinished Homestuck commentary document that helped inspire this as I went along.

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