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Cookie Fonster Chronicles Eurovision 2006 (Final): The Victory of Halloween Costumes

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Intro Post

< 2006 Semifinal | 2006 Final | 2007 Semifinal >

Introduction

As with the last two years, the grand final of Eurovision 2006 (in Athens, Greece) featured 24 songs, ten of which had qualified from the semifinal. Overall the semifinal qualifiers scored much better than the finalists: ten of the top twelve (all but 4th and 9th place) had to get through the semifinal first. This was an early hint that the one-semifinal system needed an adjustment.

This year featured two changes to the voting. First, the countries voted in randomized order, which had only been previously done in 1974 and would be done every year up to 2010. Second, to speed up the voting sequence, the spokespersons announced only their eight, ten, and twelve points. Unfortunately, some spokespersons still were keen on hogging up their time in the spotlight, so this shortened the contest’s runtime only by 23 minutes. In all fairness, a lot of time was taken up by the extravagant opening acts. Greece did not hold back with those!

Finland scored their first ever victory this year with the iconic “Hard Rock Hallelujah”. In second place came Russian’s Dima Bilan, who would win two years later. And in third place was a Balkan ballad from Bosnia and Herzegovina, their highest result to this day. This is the second of four years in a row where all Big Four countries scored in the bottom half: the highest was Germany at 14th place. Although at least one Big Four/Five country has reached the top ten since 2009, these countries still have a less than great reputation in Eurovision (except Italy).

I couldn’t find the German commentary for this year, so I went back to Terry Wogan’s British commentary. I expect him to go extra-snarky once the voting begins. One more random fact: this was the first year in which the host country used the euro as their currency.

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Cookie Fonster Chronicles Eurovision 2006 (Semifinal): Begin the Trio of Jokefest Years

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Intro Post

< 2005 Final | 2006 Semifinal | 2006 Final >

Germany selected their Eurovision entry for 2024 yesterday and I don’t like it at all. I wrote my thoughts on that entry here and I would say more about the new native-language entries here, but it’s better to save that for a separate post.

For now, just know that all those semifinal posts are very quick to write. Makes sense because they’re always about 10 to 15 songs, like all the early Eurovision contests. Then I always get a big burst of motivation to write about the grand final and the cycle continues.

Introduction

It’s fitting that the title of this post uses a word of Greek origin (chronicles), because Eurovision 2006 took place in Athens, Greece. Some politicians argued that since Athens got to host the 2004 Olympics, a different Greek city deserved to host Eurovision, but the new infrastructure and stadiums built for the Olympics meant Athens was perfect for the job.

Three countries who participated in 2005 withdrew this year: Austria because their broadcaster was pissed, Hungary due to financial issues, and S+M (Serbia and Montenegro) after having a song ready due to a storm of political drama, though strangely enough S+M was still allowed to vote this year. This means that until 2023 introduced rest of the world voting, this was the only year where a non-participating country could vote in the contest. Serbia and Montenegro became two separate countries just a month after this contest. Armenia made their debut this year, which began the Caucasus trio and continued the 2003-2008 streak of years with newcomer countries. I’ll also continue my streak of watching German commentary this year.

To present the contest, the broadcaster ERT picked a Greek singer named Sakis Rouvas (who competed in Eurovision 2004 and 2009), and a Greek-American TV host named Maria Menounos. If you’re an American fan (like me) and feel weird about being this obsessed with Eurovision, just remember that your country is home to one winner (Katrina Leskanich) and two hosts (the other is Daniela Ruah). If you’re wondering whether Maria Menounous can speak Greek, she can! Can one of my Greek commenters tell me how well she speaks the language?

I wondered why the opening film for this semifinal was so short, then I got my answer. As an opening act, Greece showed the world how happy they were to win the contest with an extravagant medley of iconic Eurovision songs (which included Dschinghis Khan) performed by people dressed as Greek gods. This over-the-top campy presentation style is still what pops into most people’s minds when you say “Eurovision”, but I’d argue the contest has evolved in personality since then—more polished and professional, but thoroughly camp when a song demands it.

This time the semifinal had 23 songs, so we have one reject and 13 non-qualifiers to get through.

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My initial thoughts on the German entry for Eurovision 2024

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I’m making a post dedicated to the German entry because it’s my country (at least in the Eurovision sense) and I’m salty about the choice. Defying my expectations and hopes, they went with “Always on the Run” by Isaak. It sounds like a 2010’s UK entry and you know how well those did.

It’s generic and beige radio pop with zero personality that sounds like something I’ve heard hundreds of times before and proves NDR has learned nothing. This is exactly the kind of song I wanted Germany to stop sending. The national final was overloaded with songs of this type so it was inevitable that would happen. Not a single one of these songs gripped me or inspired me, but I would have been at least somewhat happy if they sent one of the two German-language songs, because I feel very strongly that Germany needs to stop pretending their language doesn’t exist. But I’ve said that like a million times in my Eurovision blog post series.

I wrote some notes about the final on paper (listed in italics from here on out) and my ranking was: Undream You > Naiv > Oh Boy > Katze > Forever Strong > Tears Like Rain > Always on the Run > Scar > Love on a Budget. The German-language songs are bold.

  • “Undream You” is better than the rest because it has actual personality. It’s a sweet and delicate song and the singer feels the lyrics very much.
  • “Naiv” is the only song that has a clear German musical identity, aside from Germany’s tendency to send this bland radio pop. It would have continued the momentum of songs that sound recognizably German after “Blood & Glitter”.
  • “Oh Boy” is jury bait-y, a little like “Tout l’univers”, but it really feels anonymous when you get down to it.
  • “Katze” is silly fluff that takes too long to build up. It’s not as out there and futuristic as the singers seem to think it is, going by their monologue before the song.
  • “Forever Strong” is a decent effort and Max Mutzke is a great singer as ever, but it’s very ballady and I wish he sent one of his German-language songs.
  • The other four are completely forgettable radio pop.

Basically, the part of the national final that I enjoyed the most was the members of Lord of the Lost saying that even though they scored last place in 2023, they absolutely loved participating in Eurovision and it boosted their career. I think Chris Harms (the lead singer, whose last name I keep misspelling as Hams) said “Wir haben nichts verloren und alles gewonnen” (we lost nothing and won everything). He seems like such a nice guy and I respect him a lot. If you can speak German, maybe check out his reactions to the entries of Das Deutsche Finale; if not, I wrote a summary in English. He kept saying that none of them gave him goosebumps but tried his best to be polite and respectful.

Germany’s approach to Eurovision is completely broken. But if there’s one thing I learned from binging every Eurovision contest (I finished 2005 a few days ago), it’s that eventually a country will redeem itself. Think about how delighted everyone in Norway was when they won in 1985! Or when Turkey scored third place in 1997 after years of poor results, then won six years later. Still, I’m jealous of all those other countries that are sending a cool and exciting song this year.

One thing is for certain: when I’m this frustrated with my country’s approach to Eurovision, that’s how you know I have completed my transformation into a Eurovision fan. I wonder if it’s been amusing or annoying for friends of mine to witness the Eurofanification of cookiefonster.

Also I just got a ticket for Lord of the Lost’s concert in Malmö, during Eurovision week.

Cookie Fonster Looks Back on Eurovision 2005 (Final): Greece’s Turn to Triumph!

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Intro Post

< 2005 Semifinal | 2005 Final | 2006 Semifinal >

I worked my ass off reviewing Eurovision 2004 and 2005, as you can tell from the speed at which I’ve been releasing my posts. To compensate, I’m going to pause these posts for a week or so before I start reviewing 2006.

Introduction

Out of the 25 participants in the semifinal, ten of them got to join the 14 automatic qualifiers for the grand final of Eurovision 2005, hosted in Kyiv, Ukraine. We’ve got quite a lot to look forward in this final: the first ever winner from Greece, fan favorites from Switzerland and Hungary, and a three-time participating band’s debut for Moldova. But this contest also has some unlucky results for longtime participants: the bottom four consisted of Spain, the UK, France, and right at the bottom Germany. Was this proof that the Big Four weren’t trying hard enough, or proof that Europe hates them? We’ll have to see for ourselves.

The voting system for the final was mostly the same as 2004, but with a few differences. Monaco, Andorra, and Moldova didn’t meet the minimum number of televotes and thus had to use backup juries. And instead of alphabetical country code order, the votes were gives first by the non-qualifiers and then by the finalists, all in performance order—exactly the same order in which I’m reviewing these songs. With 39 countries who each announced their one to twelve points in order, the voting sequence was getting notoriously long and thus was shortened the next year.

Once again, Peter Urban’s German commentary will guide us through the contest. I wonder how he’ll react to Germany scoring last place?

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Cookie Fonster Looks Back on Eurovision 2005 (Semifinal): The Year of Overcomplicated Staging

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Intro Post

< 2004 Final | 2005 Semifinal | 2005 Final >

We have such an exciting variety of songs confirmed for Eurovision 2024, and we’ve still only heard 13 songs out of 37. That means we’re only a third of the way through! Right now I think Ukraine is most likely to win, followed by Italy. If Ukraine wins the contest, I really hope the country will become safe enough to host in 2025.

Introduction

We’ve now reached the 50th annual Eurovision Song Contest! Less than nine months ago I was reviewing the first ever Eurovision, and now here I am at what’s unquestionably a modern Eurovision. It’s got hosts in colorful outfits, extravagant self-deprecating opening acts, a black stage full of fancy light effects, an overview of the televoting system in English and French, and it’s even broadcast in widescreen! Aside from the 3D visual design of the screen captions, this looks very close to the Eurovision we know today.

Eurovision 2005 was one of two contests to take place in Ukraine, both of which were hosted in its capital city of Kyiv. This year, Ukraine had freshly come out of the Orange Revolution, so the country hoped that hosting Eurovision would boost its relations with the EU. But hosting the contest wouldn’t be easy for them. While Istanbul had a hefty stadium available with over 10,000 seats, in Ukraine the best available arena needed a lot of renovation and ended with only 5,000 seats. Tourists also had a lot of problems with hotels in Kyiv, with many bookings getting abruptly cancelled, but I’m sure that when it was all finished, Ukrainians were proud to have hosted Eurovision.

This year’s contest featured all 36 countries that appeared in 2004, plus three more: Bulgaria and Moldova made their debuts, and Hungary returned after skipping the last six years. The last major gap in Europe was the Czech Republic, which would join the contest in 2007, though Italy, Luxembourg, and Slovakia were still on Eurovision hiatus, and tiny little San Marino was still yet to debut. Crazy enough, Lebanon was almost going to participate this year and even had a song ready, but unsurprisingly for an Arab country, they withdrew because of Israel.

This time the semifinal featured 25 countries, ten of which would qualify to the grand final. Are any of the 15 non-qualifiers worth listening to? We’ll find out together, with some German commentary to guide us.

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Cookie Fonster Retells Eurovision 2004 (Final): Ethno-Bops, Balkan Ballads, and Future Hosts

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Intro Post

< 2004 Semifinal | 2004 Final | 2005 Semifinal >

Introduction

The grand final of Eurovision 2004 featured 24 countries that can be split into three groups: the Big Four, the top ten non-Big Four countries from 2003, and the top ten countries from the 2004 semifinal. The running order of the first two groups was determined before the semifinal, so the qualifiers were slotted into the remaining spots.

All 36 countries that participated in the contest televoted in this year’s final, even Monaco which used a backup jury in the semifinal. It was the only grand final in Eurovision history where all the points came from televoters. Ukraine won the contest for the first of three times, Serbia and Montenegro (S+M) made a strong debut with second place, and Greece scored third place for the second time. The top three countries all came from the semifinal, and the bottom three were all automatic qualifiers. This makes sense because the semifinal filtered out the less popular songs while the automatic qualifiers had no such filter.

As an opening act, Sertab Erener performed the reliable combo of last year’s winner and her latest single. I still far prefer the orchestral rearrangements of the previous winner, but this opening act reminds us that Sertab’s career has shined bright since winning the contest.

I won’t lie, I’ve started to warm up to Peter Urban’s commentary. He still sounds like he’s reading from a script at times, but he does what he needs to as a commentator and provides plenty of trivia and side remarks. Maybe that’s why he stuck around as the German commentator for so long. I already discussed the history behind this contest in my semifinal post, so there’s not much else to say—let’s get on with the songs!

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Cookie Fonster Retells Eurovision 2004 (Semifinal): A One-Night Event No Longer

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Intro Post

< 2003 Review | 2004 Semifinal | 2004 Final >

We’re well into national final season now and holy fuck, we’re being absolutely SPOILED with all those native-language songs. As well as the return of Petra Mede as a host! The more native-language songs a contest has, the more likely one of them is to win. This is shaping up to be such an exciting year.

Introduction

After Turkey won the contest in 2003, the enormous city of Istanbul had the honor of hosting a very special edition of Eurovision. It was the first whose copyright belonged to the European Broadcasting Union rather than the host broadcaster, the first to use the standardized Euro♡ision logo, and most importantly, the first to take place over multiple evenings: a semifinal and a final. Featuring a whopping 36 countries, it was the largest Eurovision contest up to this point, even if you count the non-qualifiers from 1993 and 1996 as participants.

This contest featured all 26 countries that participated in 2003, all five countries that were relegated after 2002, one country (Monaco) we hadn’t seen since 1979, and four newcomers. The new guys in this contest were Albania, Andorra, Belarus, and Serbia and Montenegro (which I’ll refer to as S+M to avoid confusion with the two countries it would later split into). S+M is a special case because they participated in 1992 under the name Yugoslavia but were then kicked out due to the Yugoslav wars. Yugoslavia renamed itself to “Serbia and Montenegro” in 2003 and by that point, tensions with the rest of Europe were cooled down enough to let S+M into Eurovision.

Fourteen countries—the Big Four and the top ten non-Big Four countries from 2003—made it directly to the final. The other 22 countries had to compete in the semifinal for ten slots in the grand final. In this post, I’ll discuss the twelve entries that didn’t make it to the final.

Two more fun facts: This contest was the only one where the semifinal took place three days before the final, instead of two and/or four. And this was the only contest from 1999 and 2010 not to take place in a country’s capital.

Even though I said I’m not a fan of Peter Urban’s commentary, I’ve decided I’ll give him a chance this time. This means I’ll be watching both parts of this contest with German commentary.

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Cookie Fonster’s Eurovision 2003 Deep Dive: An Ultra-Narrow Three-Way Battle

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Intro Post

< 2002 Review | 2003 Review | 2004 Semifinal >

Remember: every Eurovision contest from 2004 onwards will get two posts: one about the non-qualifies from the semifinal(s), and one about the final. Except for 2020, which I’ll split between the two cancelled semifinals.

Introduction

After winning last year, Latvia was put to the task of hosting Eurovision 2003. It seemed like a tall order and many people doubted it was possible, but just like Estonia, this little Baltic country managed to pull through. Predictably, Latvia chose to host in its capital city of Riga.

For presenters, LTV picked two of Latvia’s previous contestants: Marie N (2002) and Renārs Kaupers (2000). I’m surprised at this decision, because the last time a country picked two former contestants to host, it was so disastrous that some fans wanted Italy to never host again. Let’s hope the Latvian hosts do a better job!

This was the first Eurovision contest to feature 26 countries, which is today the standard number of countries in the grand final. Denmark, Finland, Lithuania, North Macedonia, and Switzerland were relegated. Iceland, Ireland, the Netherlands, Norway, Poland, and Portugal returned from 2001. Ukraine made their debut at long last, and would prove themselves a power player starting next year.

Turkey won this contest for the first time with an ethno-pop song, a genre that commonly won in the 2000’s. They won with 167 points, but two other countries came incredibly close. Belgium got 165 points with an imaginary language song, and Russia sent their famous girl duo t.A.T.u. and earned 164 points. Predictably, the Russians were not happy about losing to Turkey, but will I be happy about it? We’ll just have to see for ourselves. Terry Wogan’s commentary will once again guide us.

This contest is the end of three eras: it was the last one copyrighted by the host broadcaster instead of the EBU, the last one with a unique yearly logo, and the last one to take place over one evening. 2004 to 2007 had one semifinal, and 2008 onwards have two semifinals. This is good news for all the gaps in the map of Europe, because far more slots were now open. But it’s also the start of an era: this is the first contest where the scoreboard sorted automatically, which made the voting a hell of a lot more exciting.

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Unorganized predictions and hopes for Eurovision 2024

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We’re well into national final season now—six countries have released their songs so far and many more national selections are underway!

Holy fuck, holy FUCK, Luxembourg’s song this year is a total bop and I’m excited to see it on the Eurovision stage!!! It’s the first song revealed that truly clicks with me, but France and Ireland chose respectable efforts too. I love that France won’t be alone in sending a song en français this year. It means that France’s song won’t feel like the “token song in French” this year, as so often happens in modern Eurovision. As much as I complain that France cares too much about their language compared to other Eurovision countries, the truth is that I adore the French language.

Thank heavens Ireland didn’t choose that godawful boyband song from their national final. I’m not sure if “Doomsday Blue” has qualifier energy, but it was the best choice of the six. It’s got a nice varied pace and a mix of harsh and peaceful sections, unlike “Go Tobann” which is full-blast hectic.

As for the other three confirmed songs, Albania is disappointingly similar to their previous few entries and Czechia and Slovenia just don’t do much for me. Maybe a revamp could bring more life into some of them, but inevitably you won’t root for every single entry in Eurovision.

My dream 2024 German entry would be a German counterpart to “Cha Cha Cha” that hypes up the audience, but we sure as hell aren’t getting that. I wish I could say I’m rooting for one of the two German-language songs in Das Deutsche Finale, but from snippets I’ve heard of each of them, “Oh Boy” intrigues me by far the most. It’s total jury bait and will probably instill hope among German fans, but I still really fucking want Germany to embrace their own language again. Why is NDR still obsessed with the idea that radio-friendly pop does well in Eurovision, and so repulsed from German-language music? It’s about time a different German broadcaster takes on the contest.

I haven’t followed much of the other national finals, but I’d be excited if “Damdiggida” by Keiino represents Norway. Their song is infectious and full of personality, very Norwegian-sounding. It would be a fierce competitor especially for the televote. If they make it to Eurovision, I hope the juries give them more respect this year.

Out of the internally selected artists, I’m most excited for Marina Satti—she seems intent on sending a song that’s true to herself and should curtail the Swedification of Greece. The Netherlands and UK both made strong choices and I hope they deliver on stage. I’m happy the Netherlands has been embracing their language lately, but it makes my eye twitch that Germany can’t do the same.

I might make another post about my hopes for Eurovision 2024 at the end of February, we’ll see. But don’t expect anything too in-depth until I get to 2024 in my review series. Suffice to say, I have a lot to look forward to in my Eurovision trip.

Cookie Fonster’s Treatise on Eurovision 2002: Baltic Host, Baltic Winner

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Intro Post

< 2001 Review | 2002 Review | 2003 Review >

A few hours after this post is published, we’ll find out who Ireland will send to Eurovision 2024. National final season is shaping up!!! (Please tell me they won’t send Next in Line.)

Introduction

Eurovision 2002 began a brave journey through first-time host countries, which meant a lot of smaller, less experienced broadcasters were put up to this task. The first to take on this daunting challenge was Estonia’s ETV, who hosted the contest in its capital of Tallinn. It seemed uncertain at first whether ETV could host the contest, but they pulled through thanks to fundraisers and a loan from the Estonian government.

Once they were certain they could host the contest, Estonia decided to have some fun with it and themed it upon fairy tales, as we’ll see in the postcards. It was the first contest to have an official slogan, which is “A Modern Fairytale”. The rules of the contest were mostly the same as 2001, with one small change: the recap after all the songs were performed was done in reverse order, to reduce bias towards entries performed late.

All countries that were relegated from 2001 (Austria, Belgium, Cyprus, Finland, North Macedonia, Romania, Switzerland) got to return this year, and six countries were originally going to be relegated this year: Iceland, Ireland, Latvia, the Netherlands, Norway, and Poland. However, Portugal withdrew from the contest, which meant Latvia got to participate after all. Latvia went on to achieve the unlikely feat of scoring first place with one of the least popular winners in Eurovision history.

This year as a whole is something of a black sheep. It doesn’t have many uploads online compared to others in the 2000’s—I could only find British and Spanish commentary, so I went with Terry Wogan—and most of its songs aren’t well-remembered. I’ll come in with an open mind so we can find out together if this year was as bad as everyone says. The hosts are genuinely enthusiastic this time, which is a welcome change of pace.

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