Cookie Fonster Speculates on Eurovision 2020 (Semifinal 1): Five Countries’ Best Entries Ever

Intro Post

< 2019 Final | 2020 Semifinal 1 | 2020 Semifinal 2 >

I’m convinced that Netta Barzilai incorrectly predicts the Eurovision host city on purpose at this point. Why else would she have predicted Geneva to host Eurovision 2025 when Basel was so obviously the correct choice? I’m very pleased with the choice of Basel; as I said, it’s relatively close to where my grandma and my mom’s German friends live, so I might end up going to the contest with my mother this time.


Introduction

After winning Eurovision for the first time in 44 years, the Netherlands was prepared to host Eurovision 2020, their first time putting on the contest in 40 years. The prior Dutch contests were all organized by the broadcaster NOS, but this time they teamed up with AVROTROS (the broadcaster who picks the Dutch entries) and the two broadcasters’ parent organization, NPO. Initially nine different Dutch cities bid, but then the potential host cities were narrowed down to five—none of which had hosted Eurovision before, so no Amsterdam, Hilversum, or The Hague. Then the shortlist consisted only of Maastricht and Rotterdam, and in the end Rotterdam won out, earning them the right to host Eurovision in the Rotterdam Ahoy.

Most of the same countries from 2019 sent an entry to Eurovision 2020. The only two that didn’t were Montenegro (who would return in 2022, then will return again in 2025) and Hungary (who still hasn’t returned). Ukraine and Bulgaria both came back after skipping 2019. This means that as with last year, 41 countries had entries ready for the contest. That is, until the COVID-19 pandemic shut down the entire world and canceled the Eurovision Song Contest.

When the coronavirus lockdowns started up, a few countries were still yet to release their Eurovision entries. Russia was the very last to do so, on March 12, 2020. In those first few days of the lockdown, everyone thought it would only last a few weeks, but quickly the world would be proven wrong. On March 18, the EBU announced their decision to cancel Eurovision 2020. This means we’re left with 41 songs that never got to compete on the Eurovision stage. Some of the contestants would get to perform in Rotterdam with new songs next year, but others would be replaced with different artists entirely.

This is going to be a really weird year to review. Instead of watching a TV broadcast of the contest, I’ll have to search YouTube for national final performances and music videos of the songs, as though I were ranking a Eurovision contest pre-show. Which is not easy at all—without a live performance to go off of, some songs just make me think “it’s dramatic I guess” or “it’s probably a good song”. But I will try my best!

I’ll go through the songs in the same order as in the Eurovision Song Celebration 2020 videos (1, 2). Both videos are in the running order the semifinal would’ve had, plus the three automatic qualifiers that would’ve voted at the end.

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Cookie Fonster Gets to Know Eurovision 2013 (Semifinals): Introducing the Queen of Hosts

Intro Post

< 2012 Final | 2013 Semifinals | 2013 Final >


Introduction

Whenever Sweden hosts Eurovision, it never takes long for them to decide on an arena. The big three cities (Stockholm, Gothenburg, and Malmö) all compete to host, a few other cities sometimes throw their hat in but never stand a serious chance, and most of the arenas are eliminated due to sports schedule conflicts. For Eurovision 2013, the winning building was a place I will be inside in less than a month: the Malmö Arena.

Inside the arena, we find 39 countries competing for the grand prize, directed by the most beloved host in Eurovision history. Say hello to our lord and savior Petra Mede (be sure to roll the R). That’s right: after all those three-host years, Sweden picked the first solo presenter since 1995. I could not be more thankful. Petra is the absolute perfect Eurovision host and I can see why she was brought back for 2016 and 2024. If she was a My Little Pony character, her cutie mark* would be the Eurovision trophy. She shares the honor of hosting multiple Eurovision contests with two other hosts: Katie Boyle (1960, 1963, 1968, 1974) and Jacqueline Joubert (1959, 1961).

Armenia returned to Eurovision after skipping 2012, while four countries chose not to return: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Portugal, Slovakia, and Turkey. Portugal came back the next year, but we won’t see any more of the other three countries, except one last Bosnian entry in 2016. Eurovision came damn close to featuring a complete map of Europe, but for the foreseeable future that ship has sailed.

One change this year that I am very happy about is that the running order is no longer random! As I’ve mentioned way too many times, randomized song order will inevitably lead to strange coincidences and annoyances, like too many dance pop songs in a row or a ballad unfittingly placed at the start, so this is a very welcome change. Also, this is the first year where viewers could vote using the Eurovision mobile app.

I watched the first semifinal with Swedish commentary, and the second with Norwegian commentary. That’s because a friend of mine provided both videos in HD. This will be an adorably tiny post, covering only 13 songs.

* Colloquially known as a “butt tattoo”. It indicates a pony’s special talent.

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