Cookie Fonster Reviews Chefsache ESC 2025: German-Language Music Does Exist!

Introduction

Now the time has come for me to review the German national final for Eurovision 2025. It’s titled Chefsache ESC 2025: Wer singt für Deutschland? (Top Priority ESC 2025: Who will sing for Germany?) and it’s organized by none other than Stefan Raab, a German TV host and musician who came back to the screen in 2024 after seven years working only behind the stage. Among Eurovision fans, he’s most famous for organizing the German selection in 2010 which led to their second victory. He has a long history in Eurovision but hadn’t been involved in the contest since 2012. Most of Germany’s entries since then have been boring as hell and got bad results, so the more years passed, the more fans wanted Stefan Raab back in Eurovision. He’s back to Eurovision at long last and he says at every opportunity that his goal is for his country to win Eurovision.

Several of Stefan Raab’s decisions in this show have been questioned among fans. For one thing, the show consists of two heats, a semifinal, and a final, but in the heats the contestants didn’t sing their competing songs. Instead, they all sang covers of other popular songs or their older songs, and the juries selected who should make it to the final based on those performances. Additionally, the jury consists of only four people per show: Stefan Raab himself, his TV co-host Elton who is a music lover but doesn’t make music himself, the German singer Yvonne Catterfeld, and a different fourth jury member each show. The juries eliminate contestants in the heats and semifinal, and in the final, only the televoters decide who wins. No wait, that was changed a few days before the final, so that the juries now eliminate further down to five last songs. That’s pretty annoying because I had mentally prepared myself for a fully televote final.

I tried watching the heats live (February 14 and 15), but the covers weren’t very interesting to me, mostly just renditions of American and British pop songs. I think this was an idea that Stefan Raab insisted on, and the rest of his team didn’t question him at all because they trust every single idea he has. I was going to watch the semifinal live the next Saturday (February 22), but unfortunately that day I had to put down one of my cats. So instead, I watched the semifinal the day after—a good way to take my mind off the heartbreak of losing a pet.

The shows were all hosted by a familiar name to German Eurovision fans: Barbara Schöneberger, who hosted most of the German national finals of the past decade and seems to be the only holdover from the slop pop fests that were the last few German selections. She’s a TV and radio host from Munich, and my mom happens to be a fan of hers because of her observant humor and ability to improvise.

In this post, I won’t review the covers from the heats, nor will I split the songs between non-qualifiers and qualifiers like I did in my Supernova review. Instead, I’ll review the fourteen competing songs in their order from the semifinal, then discuss the show as a whole.

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Cookie Fonster’s Viewpoints Regarding Eurovision 2011 (Final): The Most Controversial Winner Since 1991

Intro Post

< 2011 Semifinals | 2011 Final | 2012 Semifinals >

I know I released this post at an odd hour of the day (5 AM in the American east coast), that’s because I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall asleep. Sleep is for the weak anyway, we all know this. (Actually sleeping is very important, but sometimes my brain refuses to let me fall asleep.)

Also, my post schedule is going to slow down a bit because I started a new job four days ago. Probably for the best, since that means I have more time to deliberate over how I feel about each song.


Introduction

The grand final of Eurovision 2011 (in Düsseldorf, Germany) featured 25 countries: the Big Four we’ve grown to love/hate, Italy for the first time since 1997, and the 20 qualifiers from each semifinal. In third place came Sweden, who got back on their feet after an infamous non-qualification. Italy made a strong comeback with second place, and Azerbaijan had one of the most controversial victories in Eurovision history. Many fans believe Azerbaijan cheated their way to victory, not just because they don’t like the song, also because Azerbaijan has an extensive history of voting scandals.

A few facts I didn’t mention last time: The contest was hosted by German TV presenters Anke Engelke, Judith Rakers, and Stefan Raab, the last of whom composed three German entries for Eurovision and organized the national final that led to Germany’s latest victory. Also, for the first time, the voting countries were deliberately ordered so that the winner wouldn’t be obvious from the start.

I absolutely adore the jazzy rock cover of “Satellite” that Stefan Raab opened the show with, and I love the montage of the football/soccer arena being transformed into a Eurovision arena.. I’m a huge sucker for music covered in a different genre, so this arrangement is totally up my alley. It’s so full of musical creativity! Why can’t we get these kinds of covers every year, instead of the usual unedited song reprises? Maybe I should make a chiptune rendition of “Tattoo” and pester the staff of Eurovision 2024 to use it in their show. If I beg them enough times, I’m sure they’ll say yes. And if they want a chiptune cover of “Cha Cha Cha”, I already have one ready.

I watched the grand final with Graham Norton’s British commentary.

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Cookie Fonster’s Eurovision 2010 Ramblings (Final): The Happiest Year for My Inner Patriot

Intro Post

< 2010 Semifinals | 2010 Final | 2011 Semifinals >


Introduction

Eurovision 2010 (Oslo, Norway) is a very happy year for me, because for the second and latest time in Eurovision history, Germany was the winner! I wish I could have seen the contest live as a kid, but I live in America so I would’ve had to discover it on my own. Given Germany’s current Eurovision slump, it’s easy to forget that they won quite recently compared to other western European countries. In second place behind Germany’s fresh upbeat pop song came a hard rock song from Turkey, which Turkish fans still passionately think should have won. And Romania finished third place for the second and latest time with a typical Eurovision pop song.

From this year onwards, the most common number of hosts changed from two to three (the first three-host year was 1999). This year’s lineup of hosts, as well as the next two, featured two women and one man. Nadia Hasanoui is the first Eurovision host of Arab descent (half Moroccan), Haddy Njie is the first host of sub-Saharan African descent (half Gambian), and Erik Solbakken is the only one of entirely European descent. They’ve all been lovely hosts so far, professional with a good sense of humor.

Norway went efficient with their opening act: first a quick film recapping Eurovision history, then fans from every participating country wishing luck, then Alexander Rybak performing “Fairytale” with a new custom intro. This contest has done a good job simplifying the presentation from last year while preserving its whimsy. I watched the grand final once again with Peter Urban’s German commentary, so I can find out how he reacted to Germany winning.

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Cookie Fonster Retells Eurovision 2004 (Final): Ethno-Bops, Balkan Ballads, and Future Hosts

Intro Post

< 2004 Semifinal | 2004 Final | 2005 Semifinal >

Introduction

The grand final of Eurovision 2004 featured 24 countries that can be split into three groups: the Big Four, the top ten non-Big Four countries from 2003, and the top ten countries from the 2004 semifinal. The running order of the first two groups was determined before the semifinal, so the qualifiers were slotted into the remaining spots.

All 36 countries that participated in the contest televoted in this year’s final, even Monaco which used a backup jury in the semifinal. It was the only grand final in Eurovision history where all the points came from televoters. Ukraine won the contest for the first of three times, Serbia and Montenegro (S+M) made a strong debut with second place, and Greece scored third place for the second time. The top three countries all came from the semifinal, and the bottom three were all automatic qualifiers. This makes sense because the semifinal filtered out the less popular songs while the automatic qualifiers had no such filter.

As an opening act, Sertab Erener performed the reliable combo of last year’s winner and her latest single. I still far prefer the orchestral rearrangements of the previous winner, but this opening act reminds us that Sertab’s career has shined bright since winning the contest.

I won’t lie, I’ve started to warm up to Peter Urban’s commentary. He still sounds like he’s reading from a script at times, but he does what he needs to as a commentator and provides plenty of trivia and side remarks. Maybe that’s why he stuck around as the German commentator for so long. I already discussed the history behind this contest in my semifinal post, so there’s not much else to say—let’s get on with the songs!

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Cookie Fonster Recaps Eurovision 2000: The (Second) Year of Radio Guitar Pop

Intro Post

< 1999 Review | 2000 Review | 2001 Review >

Introduction

The first Eurovision contest of the new millennium was the fourth of six (soon to be seven) in Sweden, the second of three in Stockholm, and the first of two in the Globe Arena (now called the Avicii Arena). It featured the biggest in-person audience thus far, a whopping 13,000. From this point onwards, ten to twenty thousand became a typical Eurovision audience size, though Denmark would try outdoing it a year later.

The lineup of participants now featured four countries that would automatically qualify every year to keep the contest afloat: the UK, Germany, Spain, and France. This rule was implemented before the 1999 contest but applied to 2000 onwards. I suspect this was done because the EBU didn’t want to risk France’s relegation, which would have happened in 2000. The Big Four/Five rule was controversial then and it’s just as controversial now. Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Portugal, Poland, and Lithuania were relegated, while Finland, North Macedonia, Romania, and Switzerland returned after missing last year. Russia came back after two years of absence and Latvia made their debut, which bumped up the number of participants to 24.

Latvia made a strong debut with third place, Russia scored their first of four second places, and much to the audience’s surprise, Denmark won for the first time in 37 years with “Fly on the Wings of Love”, sung by the oldest singers to win the contest.

Thanks to a sponsorship by Microsoft, this was the first Eurovision contest broadcast on the Internet, which meant Americans could finally watch Eurovision live without going overseas. (EDIT: Two months later, a friend of mine showed me an RTÉ video that proves Eurovision 1997 was also broadcast online.) Unfortunately, not all viewers got to enjoy the contest in full. The Netherlands cut their broadcast short because of the Enschede fireworks disaster which killed 23 people, then re-broadcast the contest a month later.

I’ve heard that every year when the Eurovision hosts are revealed, some fans scream “can Petra Mede come back instead?” Since I’ve seen snippets of her amazing hosting, I’m having the same thoughts as I sit through the presenters’ cheesy, blatantly scripted gags.* At least I have Terry Wogan with me to snark about them! Well, not literally, because he died in 2016.

* Credit where it’s due, the Swahili part got a laugh out of me.

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