Cookie Fonster Navigates Eurovision 2019 (Final): The Underdog Split Screen We Never Got

Intro Post

< 2019 Semifinals | 2019 Final | 2020 Semifinal 1 >

Fun fact: this is my first ever Eurovision blog post to surpass 10,000 words! The Word document containing this post has a grand total of 10,168 words, which is just insane, I know.


Introduction

After the low-budget productions of the two semifinals, it’s obvious from the opening act that the bulk of Israel’s funds for Eurovision went to producing the grand final. It starts with an opening film featuring Netta Barzilai flying an airplane commanded by Jon Ola Sand on the way to Tel Aviv.

Then comes a flag parade set to a medley of the host country’s Eurovision entries old and new, as well as a bunch of Israeli dance music that I assume is an original composition. I wish Portugal did some kind of medley like this last year, instead of constantly referencing “Amar pelos dois”. It features the instrumental of “Toy” from 2018, “Diva” from 1998, “Ey Sham” from 1973, and “Golden Boy” from 2015, as well as a song called “Tel Aviv” by Dana International. The flag parade alone is enough to tell the Israelis were absolutely joyed to host Eurovision again. The flag parade features a host saying welcome in each country’s language, then the country’s name in English. I wish the countries’ names were in their native languages, because it’s so weird to hear “willkommen, Germany”.

I didn’t discuss the hosts and postcards in the final, so I’ll do those now. After Ukraine said “men can host Eurovision too, let’s give us three dudes” and Portugal rebutted with “nuh-uh, four ladies are better!”, Israel gave us a gender-balanced quartet each of different ethnicities. Erez Tal is a Mizrahi Jew, Bar Refaeli is an Ashkenazi Jew, Assi Azar is a Yemenite Jew, and Lucy Ayoub is an Israeli Arab.

The postcards are the best of both worlds like last year, showcasing both the contestants and scenes of the host country, with the added twist of them performing dance routines set to a wide variety of music. They’re quite an extensive tour of Israel, a true showcase of the entire country! I’m thankful it’s not just Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, but single-city postcards can work: I’m quite fond of the postcards touring Gothenburg in 1985. This year has delightful postcards and they might be my second favorites ever, behind the flag postcards of 2014.

This is the first year where the voting sequence looks pretty much exactly as we know it today: the televote points are now delivered not from fewest to most televotes, but from bottom to top of the jury votes which is exactly the most exciting and logical way to do it. The only oddity in the voting sequence is that the countries started off in alphabetical order this year, instead of the usual running order.

I watched the grand final once more with Swedish commentary along with my friend Liv, then once more with German commentary alone.

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Cookie Fonster Slogs Through Eurovision 2001: Trying Too Hard to Impress

Intro Post

< 2000 Review | 2001 Review | 2002 Review >

I won’t start writing my 2002 review until after MAGFest 2024 (January 18-21, I’m leaving on the 17th). This will be my fifth time at MAGFest and after the event, you’ll see content related to it on my YouTube channel!


Introduction

Denmark won Eurovision two oh oh oh,
so now was their second turn to host the show.
Copenhagen was chosen to stage this event,
an agreeable choice without too much dissent.
They chose a stadium capable of housing
a staggering audience of thirty-eight thousand.
Some say they wanted to outdo Sweden,
and indeed, this record still hasn’t been beaten.
That no one’s surpassed it is much for the best,
since the stage looked like merely a blip to most guests.

Austrians, Belgians, Romanians, the Swiss,
Cypriots, Finns, and North Mac had to miss.
Lithuania returned this year, as did Slovenes,
plus Bosnians, Greeks, Poles, and the Portuguese.
Of the new guys that poured in here since ninety-three,
Estonia became the first winner. Yippee!
It was twelve years ago, far too long in fans’ eyes,
when a country last received its first ever prize.
From this contest up until two thousand eight,
the winner would be someone new. Ain’t that great?

Every achievement last year by the Swedes,
the Danes were determined to beat and exceed.
The Swedish hosts may have seemed cheesy last time,
but they’re nothing compared to these hosts’ endless rhymes.
They hosted the song contest in rhyming pairs,
but I think my rhymes are more clever than theirs.
Since I wanted a breather from the BBC,
I watched this contest’s broadcast from RTÉ.
Marty Whelan still comments for Ireland today.
He’s much more respectful than Wogan, I’d say.
Now what are we waiting for? Let’s have some fun
and review Eurovision two thousand and one!

(Phew… this poem was so tough to write. Also, if you’re reading it out loud, stress the third syllable of Copenhagen.)

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