Tag Archives: radio pop

Cookie Fonster Gets to Know Eurovision 2013 (Final): The Year of Gratuitous Dubstep Drops

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Intro Post

< 2013 Semifinals | 2013 Final | 2014 Semifinals >

Introduction

“Good evening, my name is Petra Mede. And we just—”

crowd cheers

If you need proof SVT picked the perfect host for 2013, here it is. The fans absolutely adore her.

The final of Eurovision 2013 opened with the contest’s first ever flag parade. Set to a choir number composed by Avicii (rest in peace) and Björn and Benny, all 26 finalists walk across a bridge meant to represent the Öresund bridge that connects Copenhagen with the contest’s host city: Malmö. I’ll be crossing that bridge many times next month. The parade feels rather solemn compared to the flag parades of later years, a bit too much like that of a sports event rather than a zany song contest. Still, this grand final has an admirably efficient introduction, especially compared to some years.

Just like last time Eurovision was hosted in Sweden, Denmark won with a radio pop song, more specifically one that I’d argue is a good radio pop song. Now the second place and third place… this hurts because Greece should’ve been AT LEAST top three, but I’ll list them anyway. In second place came Azerbaijan with some pop song much worse than “Alcohol Is Free”, and in third place came Ukraine with another pop song that doesn’t hold a candle to “Alcohol Is Free”.

To alleviate my dread of going through all these radio pop songs, I’ll take a different approach when reviewing this final. I decided to watch all the songs with my Swedish friend Liv, the watch-through broken into three parts. She’s the same friend I mentioned a few times in my last post, and we’re both going to Malmö for Eurovision 2024. I took notes on our opinions on each song, so that it’ll be easy to transform those into proper reviews. We watched the show together with German commentary, then I watched it alone with British commentary.

One more fact worth noting: The full points from the jury and televote (both in the semifinals and final) aren’t publicly known this year. The reason why is simple: Azerbaijan cheated and the EBU added new anti-fraud rules the next year. The best we have is each country’s average rank, which is a bit annoying but we’ll make do with it.

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Cookie Fonster Gets to Know Eurovision 2013 (Semifinals): Introducing the Queen of Hosts

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Intro Post

< 2012 Final | 2013 Semifinals | 2013 Final >

Introduction

Whenever Sweden hosts Eurovision, it never takes long for them to decide on an arena. The big three cities (Stockholm, Gothenburg, and Malmö) all compete to host, a few other cities sometimes throw their hat in but never stand a serious chance, and most of the arenas are eliminated due to sports schedule conflicts. For Eurovision 2013, the winning building was a place I will be inside in less than a month: the Malmö Arena.

Inside the arena, we find 39 countries competing for the grand prize, directed by the most beloved host in Eurovision history. Say hello to our lord and savior Petra Mede (be sure to roll the R). That’s right: after all those three-host years, Sweden picked the first solo presenter since 1995. I could not be more thankful. Petra is the absolute perfect Eurovision host and I can see why she was brought back for 2016 and 2024. If she was a My Little Pony character, her cutie mark* would be the Eurovision trophy. She shares the honor of hosting multiple Eurovision contests with two other hosts: Katie Boyle (1960, 1963, 1968, 1974) and Jacqueline Joubert (1959, 1961).

Armenia returned to Eurovision after skipping 2012, while four countries chose not to return: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Portugal, Slovakia, and Turkey. Portugal came back the next year, but we won’t see any more of the other three countries, except one last Bosnian entry in 2016. Eurovision came damn close to featuring a complete map of Europe, but for the foreseeable future that ship has sailed.

One change this year that I am very happy about is that the running order is no longer random! As I’ve mentioned way too many times, randomized song order will inevitably lead to strange coincidences and annoyances, like too many dance pop songs in a row or a ballad unfittingly placed at the start, so this is a very welcome change. Also, this is the first year where viewers could vote using the Eurovision mobile app.

I watched the first semifinal with Swedish commentary, and the second with Norwegian commentary. That’s because a friend of mine provided both videos in HD. This will be an adorably tiny post, covering only 13 songs.

* Colloquially known as a “butt tattoo”. It indicates a pony’s special talent.

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Cookie Fonster’s Viewpoints Regarding Eurovision 2011 (Final): The Most Controversial Winner Since 1991

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Intro Post

< 2011 Semifinals | 2011 Final | 2012 Semifinals >

I know I released this post at an odd hour of the day (5 AM in the American east coast), that’s because I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall asleep. Sleep is for the weak anyway, we all know this. (Actually sleeping is very important, but sometimes my brain refuses to let me fall asleep.)

Also, my post schedule is going to slow down a bit because I started a new job four days ago. Probably for the best, since that means I have more time to deliberate over how I feel about each song.

Introduction

The grand final of Eurovision 2011 (in Düsseldorf, Germany) featured 25 countries: the Big Four we’ve grown to love/hate, Italy for the first time since 1997, and the 20 qualifiers from each semifinal. In third place came Sweden, who got back on their feet after an infamous non-qualification. Italy made a strong comeback with second place, and Azerbaijan had one of the most controversial victories in Eurovision history. Many fans believe Azerbaijan cheated their way to victory, not just because they don’t like the song, also because Azerbaijan has an extensive history of voting scandals.

A few facts I didn’t mention last time: The contest was hosted by German TV presenters Anke Engelke, Judith Rakers, and Stefan Raab, the last of whom composed three German entries for Eurovision and organized the national final that led to Germany’s latest victory. Also, for the first time, the voting countries were deliberately ordered so that the winner wouldn’t be obvious from the start.

I absolutely adore the jazzy rock cover of “Satellite” that Stefan Raab opened the show with, and I love the montage of the football/soccer arena being transformed into a Eurovision arena.. I’m a huge sucker for music covered in a different genre, so this arrangement is totally up my alley. It’s so full of musical creativity! Why can’t we get these kinds of covers every year, instead of the usual unedited song reprises? Maybe I should make a chiptune rendition of “Tattoo” and pester the staff of Eurovision 2024 to use it in their show. If I beg them enough times, I’m sure they’ll say yes. And if they want a chiptune cover of “Cha Cha Cha”, I already have one ready.

I watched the grand final with Graham Norton’s British commentary.

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My initial thoughts on the German entry for Eurovision 2024

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I’m making a post dedicated to the German entry because it’s my country (at least in the Eurovision sense) and I’m salty about the choice. Defying my expectations and hopes, they went with “Always on the Run” by Isaak. It sounds like a 2010’s UK entry and you know how well those did.

It’s generic and beige radio pop with zero personality that sounds like something I’ve heard hundreds of times before and proves NDR has learned nothing. This is exactly the kind of song I wanted Germany to stop sending. The national final was overloaded with songs of this type so it was inevitable that would happen. Not a single one of these songs gripped me or inspired me, but I would have been at least somewhat happy if they sent one of the two German-language songs, because I feel very strongly that Germany needs to stop pretending their language doesn’t exist. But I’ve said that like a million times in my Eurovision blog post series.

I wrote some notes about the final on paper (listed in italics from here on out) and my ranking was: Undream You > Naiv > Oh Boy > Katze > Forever Strong > Tears Like Rain > Always on the Run > Scar > Love on a Budget. The German-language songs are bold.

  • “Undream You” is better than the rest because it has actual personality. It’s a sweet and delicate song and the singer feels the lyrics very much.
  • “Naiv” is the only song that has a clear German musical identity, aside from Germany’s tendency to send this bland radio pop. It would have continued the momentum of songs that sound recognizably German after “Blood & Glitter”.
  • “Oh Boy” is jury bait-y, a little like “Tout l’univers”, but it really feels anonymous when you get down to it.
  • “Katze” is silly fluff that takes too long to build up. It’s not as out there and futuristic as the singers seem to think it is, going by their monologue before the song.
  • “Forever Strong” is a decent effort and Max Mutzke is a great singer as ever, but it’s very ballady and I wish he sent one of his German-language songs.
  • The other four are completely forgettable radio pop.

Basically, the part of the national final that I enjoyed the most was the members of Lord of the Lost saying that even though they scored last place in 2023, they absolutely loved participating in Eurovision and it boosted their career. I think Chris Harms (the lead singer, whose last name I keep misspelling as Hams) said “Wir haben nichts verloren und alles gewonnen” (we lost nothing and won everything). He seems like such a nice guy and I respect him a lot. If you can speak German, maybe check out his reactions to the entries of Das Deutsche Finale; if not, I wrote a summary in English. He kept saying that none of them gave him goosebumps but tried his best to be polite and respectful.

Germany’s approach to Eurovision is completely broken. But if there’s one thing I learned from binging every Eurovision contest (I finished 2005 a few days ago), it’s that eventually a country will redeem itself. Think about how delighted everyone in Norway was when they won in 1985! Or when Turkey scored third place in 1997 after years of poor results, then won six years later. Still, I’m jealous of all those other countries that are sending a cool and exciting song this year.

One thing is for certain: when I’m this frustrated with my country’s approach to Eurovision, that’s how you know I have completed my transformation into a Eurovision fan. I wonder if it’s been amusing or annoying for friends of mine to witness the Eurofanification of cookiefonster.

Also I just got a ticket for Lord of the Lost’s concert in Malmö, during Eurovision week.

Cookie Fonster Relives Eurovision 1999: The Death of the Language Rule (and the Birth of Me)

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Intro Post

< 1998 Review | 1999 Review | 2000 Review >

Please enjoy my first Eurovision review of the new year! I wonder how far I’ll get when the 2024 contest happens? I don’t think I’ll catch up, but maybe I’ll reach 2015 or so. Remember, I’ll be in Malmö and/or Copenhagen during the contest.

Introduction

An audience filled with flags, cheerful hosts accompanied by electronic music, a stage full of flashy light effects, seemingly endless pleasantries before the contest properly begins… yep, the first Eurovision contest after I was born isn’t far from what we know it as today.

Eurovision 1999 took place in Israel just as it would twenty years later, in its capital city of Jerusalem just as it did twenty years earlier. The number of participating countries was reduced from 25 to 23, so seven countries were relegated (Finland, Greece, Hungary, North Macedonia, Romania, Slovakia, Switzerland) and five rejoined (Austria, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Denmark, Iceland, Lithuania). Lithuania had last participated in 1994 and Hungary wouldn’t rejoin until 2005. Perhaps this decrease in participants was done to allow for commercial breaks between the songs, which were filled by mini-interval acts for the live audience and non-commercial broadcasters.

This year featured two massive changes to the rules: (1) the orchestra was abolished and (2) just like from 1973 to 1976, the language rule was abolished. Technically, the orchestra wasn’t fully abolished, but broadcasters could now opt out of providing one, which is what Israel did. From this point onwards, all Eurovision entries were sung entirely over a backing track.

The first winner of post-orchestra and post-language rule Eurovision was none other than Sweden with “Take Me to Your Heaven”, who would become the biggest power player till the present day. Iceland scored second place with another pop song in English, and Germany combined four languages to reach a respectable third place. One more fact: This was the first Eurovision with three presenters, which would be the most common amount from 2010 onwards. One of them sang Israel’s entry in 1992, “Ze Rak Sport”.

I frankly don’t have high expectations for these next few years of Eurovision. I’m bracing myself for a bunch of cheesy Eurodance, painfully off-key singing, and nonsensical English lyrics. Maybe Terry Wogan’s commentary will make it more bearable, we’ll see.

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