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Cookie Fonster Comes to Terms with Eurovision 2024 (Semifinals): The Best and Worst Year Simultaneously

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Intro Post

< 2023 Final | 2024 Semifinals | 2024 Final >

I’m almost done with this blog post series! I just have the 2024 grand final and then a few bonus posts in mind. Then I don’t know what the hell I’ll do with my time.

Introduction

(The best year of Eurovision was actually 2021, but shh. Let me be dramatic for the sake of this title.)

And so, we’ve finally arrived at the most recent Eurovision contest as of this writing. It was filled with exorbitant amounts of drama, the most drama in… who the hell knows how long? Is it comparable to all the ruckus Italy caused when hosting 1991? The controversies Russia caused hosting 2009, or Azerbaijan in 2012? Or going back further, the quadruple tie of 1969 hosted in Francoist Spain? I’ll save most of my drama ranting for “Hurricane”, the controversial Israeli entry of this year, and try my best to be positive otherwise. Even though one of the biggest fan favorites of the year, “Europapa” from the Netherlands, was disqualified after qualifying from the second semifinal. This didn’t just piss off fans; it also angered the broadcaster AVROTROS who was very excited to share their Eurovision entry and insisted it was unjust to disqualify Joost Klein. And even though Israel insisted on sending a song that they knew would be controversial with zero regard for how other broadcasters or viewers would feel, which caused massive protests and the EBU to bend backwards… I’ll try to be positive anyway.

The usual big three Swedish cities bidded to host Eurovision 2024, plus an outsider: the subarctic city of Örnskoldsvik, which happens to have a nice big arena that has hosted Melodifestivalen heats. The Malmö Arena was the only viable option due to scheduling issues in the other venues, so that’s what SVT went with. It turns out that Malmö was a fitting city to host this year, considering the contest went to the very same arena after the last time Loreen won. It’s also a very modern and polished city that saw tons of growth after the bridge to Copenhagen opened in 1999, and it’s got a really nice network of trains and buses, so it’s well-suited to host Eurovision. But for Israeli fans, Malmö was an unfortunate city to host due to the amount of immigrants who protested against the country’s participation in Eurovision, or for some people, even the country’s existence. This meant that most fans from Israel had to hide all signs of their nationality, including speaking Hebrew, and it’s really sad that they had to do this in the 21st century.

This was the first Eurovision year that I visited in person. It was my first time in Scandinavia and my first time visiting both Denmark and Sweden; lovely countries that I’d be glad to visit again. I wrote a blog post about the trip months ago, but honestly I sugar coated the description a little bit. Not only was I stressed out from all the Eurovision drama, I also got into some really bad personal drama that I won’t elaborate on in public. But… despite everything, I am extremely glad I got to go on this trip. And I promise you this won’t be my last time visiting Eurovision.

Aside from all the drama, Luxembourg came back to Eurovision after last participating in 1993! Romania skipped out, which means this contest had 37 competing countries just like last year. And the semifinals have an exciting change: the Big Five and host country now each perform in the semifinal they can vote in, but still automatically qualify. This is a long overdue change that greatly offsets these countries’ disadvantage, and I’m really happy about it. And after the success of worldwide voting last year, the rest of the world’s voting period was extended to begin 24 hours before each show. I think Australia should have this luxury too.

To twist things up, I will watch the first semifinal with Luxembourgish commentary, then the second with German commentary by Thorsten Schorn, who has a picture of the old commentator in his booth. This will be my first time watching the semis’ TV broadcasts in full, since I watched the first as a rehearsal from the arena, and the second as a live show from the arena. And I will include “Europapa” in this post, not the grand final post.

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Eurovision Song Contest Malmö 2024: What was it like going in person?

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From May 4 to 12, 2024, I went on my big trip of the year: a trip to Sweden and Denmark to watch the Eurovision Song Contest 2024 in person, hosted in Malmö on the southern tip of Sweden. It was my first time going to both countries, my first time going to the contest, and my second time following it live. As an American, I naturally got tons of questions as to how I got interested in Eurovision. The long answer is rather complicated (I explained it in this post, skip to Dancing Lasha Tumbai), so the short answer is “an Australian friend got me into it” and that’s good enough for most people.

Before the show started (May 4-6)

I was originally going to visit two cities on this trip: Copenhagen (where I’d be staying) and Malmö (where the contest took place). But after arriving at the Copenhagen airport on May 5, I added a third city in the trip: Gothenburg, where I met up with my Swedish friend Liv. She’s exactly as nerdy about Eurovision as me and this was also her first time visiting Eurovision, but unlike me she’s a lifelong fan. After arriving in the Gothenburg train station, I hugged Liv and we had a long excited conversation about what all we’d do together, then we explored some of her favorite places in the city. I wish I had taken more pictures of Gothenburg: it’s a delightful homely city and I’d love to visit again sometime.

Liv and me by Scandinavium, the building in Gothenburg that hosted Eurovision 1985.
We hummed the postcard music from that year while passing by that building. Every postcard that year had the same damn background music.

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Unorganized predictions and hopes for Eurovision 2024 (Volume 3)

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Since my last predictions post, nine more entries for Eurovision 2024 have been released, so the count is at 29 out of 37—36 if Israel withdraws, which I strongly feel would be the right thing to do. I’ll give initial thoughts on each of them, but I’ll be brief so I can save the deeper thoughts for after the contest happens.

Croatia (1) sent an absolute banger this year! Although it’s in English, it has a lot in common with “Cha Cha Cha” last year: it’s a danceable electronic song that alternates between chaotic and melodic parts and it has a serious message beneath its whimsy. The same is true about the Netherlands (2), who went with EXACTLY the kind of song I was hoping Joost Klein would send. Hot damn, the chorus of “Europapa” will stay in my head for a very long time. I love how it’s hectic most of the way through then has an emotional ending and I love that it makes so much use of the Dutch language (and a bit of a few others, even German!). Both songs should do well with the televote, hopefully with the juries too.

The United Kingdom (3) was the last Big Five member to release their song. The BBC has finally figured out how to stand out in post-language rule Eurovision: send songs by recognizable names that accurately represent the British music scene. I hope this manages to stand out in the final, because it seems simple on the surface but is captivating once you get into it.

Iceland (4) has a nice dance beat, but it’s too repetitive musically and I doubt it’ll qualify to the final. The runner-up of their national final (“Wild West” by Bashar Murad) is a total banger with badass lyrics, you should listen to it if you haven’t. Cyprus (5) went for the overproduced girl bop route and I’m not sure it will stand out among all the other girl bops, but I quite like the chorus. I imagine it’ll be staged similarly to “Fuego”.

Austria (6) and Switzerland (7) both internally selected, I imagine with the prompt “what would hype up the audience the most?” They both understood that prompt perfectly, each in their own way. I almost want Germany to internally select knowing this, but I do not trust NDR to touch Eurovision with a ten-foot pole, plus that’d make a German-language entry even less likely. The more songs are released for this year’s semifinal, the more I suspect it’ll be like 2021 and 2022, where most countries sent a properly competitive entry and Germany didn’t. I’m more hesitant to compare it to 2023, because while that year had a lot of strong entries, it was a clear two-horse race between Sweden and Finland. 2021 was extremely open and 2022 would’ve been just as open if it weren’t for the war in Ukraine.

Serbia (8) is a strong competitor as I expected. They’re one of few countries to send something slow this year, so their song is sure to stand out. It’s got the lyrical and singing style of a Balkan ballad (a genre I adore) and the instrumental style of a regular ballad (a style that’s become more enjoyable in 2020’s Eurovision). And finally we arrive at San Marino (9) who’s sending a funky rock song in Spanish, oh my god! They really are the wildcard of Eurovision. San Marino got lucky because Spain is voting in the second semifinal.

This is shaping up to be one hell of an exciting Eurovision year, but I’m uncomfortable with the drama that Israel’s participation has caused. It would be a weight lifted off everyone’s backs if Israel sat this year out. I hope you’re smart enough not to take this as an attack on the Israeli people. The war is terrifying for both Palestinians and Israelis and all I wish for is peace between the two countries.