Monthly Archives: March 2024

Cookie Fonster’s Viewpoints Regarding Eurovision 2011 (Final): The Most Controversial Winner Since 1991

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Intro Post

< 2011 Semifinals | 2011 Final | 2012 Semifinals >

I know I released this post at an odd hour of the day (5 AM in the American east coast), that’s because I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall asleep. Sleep is for the weak anyway, we all know this. (Actually sleeping is very important, but sometimes my brain refuses to let me fall asleep.)

Also, my post schedule is going to slow down a bit because I started a new job four days ago. Probably for the best, since that means I have more time to deliberate over how I feel about each song.

Introduction

The grand final of Eurovision 2011 (in Düsseldorf, Germany) featured 25 countries: the Big Four we’ve grown to love/hate, Italy for the first time since 1997, and the 20 qualifiers from each semifinal. In third place came Sweden, who got back on their feet after an infamous non-qualification. Italy made a strong comeback with second place, and Azerbaijan had one of the most controversial victories in Eurovision history. Many fans believe Azerbaijan cheated their way to victory, not just because they don’t like the song, also because Azerbaijan has an extensive history of voting scandals.

A few facts I didn’t mention last time: The contest was hosted by German TV presenters Anke Engelke, Judith Rakers, and Stefan Raab, the last of whom composed three German entries for Eurovision and organized the national final that led to Germany’s latest victory. Also, for the first time, the voting countries were deliberately ordered so that the winner wouldn’t be obvious from the start.

I absolutely adore the jazzy rock cover of “Satellite” that Stefan Raab opened the show with, and I love the montage of the football/soccer arena being transformed into a Eurovision arena.. I’m a huge sucker for music covered in a different genre, so this arrangement is totally up my alley. It’s so full of musical creativity! Why can’t we get these kinds of covers every year, instead of the usual unedited song reprises? Maybe I should make a chiptune rendition of “Tattoo” and pester the staff of Eurovision 2024 to use it in their show. If I beg them enough times, I’m sure they’ll say yes. And if they want a chiptune cover of “Cha Cha Cha”, I already have one ready.

I watched the grand final with Graham Norton’s British commentary.

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Cookie Fonster’s Viewpoints Regarding Eurovision 2011 (Semifinals): The Most Boring Year Since 1992

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Intro Post

< 2010 Final | 2011 Semifinals | 2011 Final >

Yesterday, Czechia released a revamp of their 2024 entry “Pedestal”. The song has grown on me and the new section makes it feel a lot more complete. Still far from my favorite of the year, but I’d now be happy if it qualifies.

Introduction

As one of the most populous countries in Europe, Germany has a rich assortment of cities that could feasibly host a modern-day Eurovision. Reportedly 23 cities expressed interest at first, then eight publicly declared they’d like to bid, then four officially applied: Berlin, Düsseldorf, Hamburg, and Hannover. Eventually Düsseldorf won the right to host the first Eurovision Song Contest in reunified Germany.

Eurovision 2011 came amazingly close to featuring the entirety of Europe. At a glance, the only gap in the map of participants seems to be the Czech Republic, but a few others are missing: Montenegro, Luxembourg, a few microstates, and Kosovo who probably can’t join Eurovision unless Serbia recognizes their independence. Austria, Hungary, and San Marino all returned after skipping the last one or two years, and most excitingly of all, Italy finally rejoined Eurovision after last participating in 1997. Perhaps Germany’s victory last year convinced Italy that it was worth taking part.

After not doing postcards last time Germany hosted in 1983, it’s refreshing to see some proper German postcards. These postcards are a lovingly crafted tour of places in Germany, and they each end with the contest’s slogan “Feel Your Heart Beat!” written or spoken in each country’s language.

The rules this year were mostly the same, except the Big Four were now the Big Five: the UK, France, Spain, Germany, and Italy. This means that the grand final would consist of 25 countries if a Big Five country won last year, 26 countries otherwise. As with last year, the voting opened shortly before the songs began. We have 18 non-qualifiers to review in this post, and as with last year, Peter Urban’s German commentary to guide us. The first semifinal has a special guest commentator, TV host Steven Gätjen.

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Cookie Fonster’s Eurovision 2010 Ramblings (Final): The Happiest Year for My Inner Patriot

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Intro Post

< 2010 Semifinals | 2010 Final | 2011 Semifinals >

Introduction

Eurovision 2010 (Oslo, Norway) is a very happy year for me, because for the second and latest time in Eurovision history, Germany was the winner! I wish I could have seen the contest live as a kid, but I live in America so I would’ve had to discover it on my own. Given Germany’s current Eurovision slump, it’s easy to forget that they won quite recently compared to other western European countries. In second place behind Germany’s fresh upbeat pop song came a hard rock song from Turkey, which Turkish fans still passionately think should have won. And Romania finished third place for the second and latest time with a typical Eurovision pop song.

From this year onwards, the most common number of hosts changed from two to three (the first three-host year was 1999). This year’s lineup of hosts, as well as the next two, featured two women and one man. Nadia Hasanoui is the first Eurovision host of Arab descent (half Moroccan), Haddy Njie is the first host of sub-Saharan African descent (half Gambian), and Erik Solbakken is the only one of entirely European descent. They’ve all been lovely hosts so far, professional with a good sense of humor.

Norway went efficient with their opening act: first a quick film recapping Eurovision history, then fans from every participating country wishing luck, then Alexander Rybak performing “Fairytale” with a new custom intro. This contest has done a good job simplifying the presentation from last year while preserving its whimsy. I watched the grand final once again with Peter Urban’s German commentary, so I can find out how he reacted to Germany winning.

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Unorganized predictions and hopes for Eurovision 2024 (Volume 4)

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At the time of my previous predictions post, 29 out of 37 songs for Eurovision 2024 were released. Now all 37 have been confirmed, so that means I have eight to comment on.

First off, the elephant in the room: the country that many fans, myself included, think shouldn’t be allowed in Eurovision this year. I’m not a big fan of Israel’s entry (1) as a song, nor the message it gives. It’s just an average ballad full of generic four-chord progressions and overall it feels kind of… artificial, if that makes any sense. Like it’s deliberately designed to make the audience feel sad, rather than the singer expressing her own thoughts on how the war makes her feel.

On a brighter note, let’s talk about Australia (2). My god, their song feels so Australian! It has a different attitude and vibe to all the European entries and overall sounds spacious and cultural. Another internally selected entry that feels very cultural is Greece (3). It’s a return to form for Greece, yet at the same time a totally new direction. It strongly reminds me of “Russian Woman” from 2021, which means it sounds exotic and harsh but intriguing at the same time, and full of ethnic personality.

I would love it so much if in 2025, Germany went the same route as Greece and Australia and internally selected a quality song in German. I think that would suit Germany in Eurovision better than a national final. I mentioned this idea in a long, pessimistic rant about Germany’s approach to Eurovision yesterday, so maybe you could read that and then continue this blog post.

Portugal (4) joined Serbia in sending a slow, sentimental native language song selected by a national final—not far from what I imagined Portugal sending. I love that Portugal still remains true to themselves after all those years. Sweden (5) had the last national final of the year and is sending a song that’s not as unforgettable as the title would imply—a predictable Swedish electronic dance song. Maybe someday, televoters are going to lose interest in these types of entries and then Sweden would need to refresh their approach. Maybe that could mean more Swedish-language or otherwise cultural songs?

Now only the Caucasus countries are left, but first I will discuss the English-language revamp of Albania’s song. It sounded like a predictable Albanian entry when it was in Albanian, but now it’s even more of a predictable Albanian entry and duller.

Now all that’s left is the Caucasus countries, all of which internally selected. For the first time, Azerbaijan (6) is singing in a significant amount of Azerbaijani! If there was any doubt that Germany has ZERO EXCUSE to pretend their language doesn’t exist, then now it’s gone. Their song is a decent enough minor key dramatic song with a handful of ethnic elements. I don’t have strong feelings about it otherwise.

I’ve gained a new appreciation for Armenia’s (7) approach to Eurovision now that I’m reviewing their Eurovision entries. They love their ethno-bops and they love sounding authentically Armenian. This time, they’re sending their second entry fully in Armenian! I wish the lyrics consisted of more Armenian words and less “la lai la”, but it’s super ethnic and super fun. It turns out Armenian is a very cool-sounding language! Fun fact: unlike the other two Caucasus countries’ national languages (Georgian and Azerbaijani), Armenian is an Indo-European language which means it’s distantly related to English.

Finally we arrive at Georgia (8), whose song is less exotic than their usual entries. It’s another dramatic minor key dance song, I’m not sure what I think of it yet. It didn’t leave a strong impression on me the first time I heard it, maybe because songs of this type are abundant in Eurovision. It might be easier to give thoughts on it when we see it live on stage.

Basically, all these entries have confirmed my suspicions that this will be like 2021 and 2022: it feels like pretty much every country is bringing a fiercely competitive song but Germany isn’t. Bitte Deutschland, ein gutes Lied auf Deutsch nächstes Jahr.

Cookie Fonster’s Eurovision 2010 Ramblings (Semifinals): The First Non-Qualifier to Break My Heart

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Intro Post

< 2009 Final | 2010 Semifinals | 2010 Final >

And now we have all 37 songs confirmed for Eurovision 2024! I’m not sure when I’ll make my fourth “unorganized predictions and hopes” post, because I want these songs to solidify in my brain first, and also because I don’t want to listen to each song too much like I did in 2023. April is a relatively quiet month for Eurovision fans, particularly compared to February and March, so I’ll probably do it then.

Introduction

I’m now at a point where my Eurovision reviews feel less like I’m diving into old European history, and more like I’m catching up on all the episodes of a TV show I like. As fun as it was to go through the early years of Eurovision, there’s no denying it: the recent years are by far the most exciting.

The history behind Eurovision 2010 reflects the economic problems that had plagued Europe. After the grandiose show Russia had put on, Norway decided to scale things back for their third time hosting Eurovision. For one thing, Norway was efficient when choosing where to host. On May 27, 2009, just two weeks after Alexander Rybak’s victory, NRK went with the safe choice of hosting in Oslo (just like 1996). On July 2, they had already decided which building to host it in: the newly built Telenor Arena. While Russia last year had a complex stage full of moving LED screens, Norway went for a simple stage with minimal light effects. This was mainly a cost-saving measure, but it also helped draw more attention to the performers and set this year’s personality apart from last year.

The global financial crisis was also why four countries from last year didn’t rejoin: Andorra, Czechia, Hungary, and Montenegro. Andorra still hasn’t returned to the contest, despite Susanne Georgi’s best efforts. The other three would come back in 2015, 2011, and 2012 (with an infamous joke entry) respectively. Georgia came back this year, after their previous entry was rejected. The total head count was 39 countries.

Two changes in the voting: The qualifiers from the semifinals were now determined by a mix of juries and televoting, as would be the case each year up to 2022. The voting was now open while all the songs were performed, which was also done in 2011 and will be done again in 2024.

I’m excited to review this year mainly for one reason: Germany was the winner! But first I have to get through these two semifinals, guided by Peter Urban’s German commentary.

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Cookie Fonster Gushes About Eurovision 2009 (Final): A Spectacular Year Hard to Surpass

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Intro Post

< 2009 Semifinals | 2009 Final | 2010 Semifinals >

Eurovision season is really shaping up. We’ve now heard almost all the participating songs—only Azerbaijan is left, and their song will be out tomorrow. And an exciting change is coming to the semifinals: now the Big Five and host country will each perform in the semifinal they vote in, interspersed amidst the competitors. That should alleviate the disadvantage that the audience only hears their songs once.

Introduction

“Good evening and welcome to the Eurovision Song Contest 2009, coming to you live from Moscow. I’m Graham Norton… I, I miss Terry too. I’m sorry, he’s not here.” These are the first ever words from our new friend, the legendary Graham Norton. Well, not the first words he spoke after coming out of his mom’s belly, but the first words he spoke as a British Eurovision commentator. Like Terry Wogan, he’s originally from Ireland and has a famously snarky sense of humor. He makes an active effort to replicate Terry Wogan’s humor, but while Terry always had a love-hate relationship with Eurovision, beneath Graham Norton’s sarcastic jokes lies a genuine love for the contest.

The opening act blew my mind in so many ways: first a grandiose performance from Cirque de Soleil, then a reprise of “Believe” (the winner of 2008) with zipline stunts and crashing through walls. It continues to amaze me that Russia went all out with hosting Eurovision.

I’m not sure why Russia saved the actually good hosts for the final though. They’re so much more competent than the previous hosts and are much better with their English and French. One of the hosts is Ivan Urgant, a Russian TV host who ran a talk show that was canceled in 2022 because he spoke out against the war in Ukraine. The other host is Alsou, who sang for Russia in 2000 when she was only 16 years old and scored second place. She’s such a confident presenter, oh my god! These two should have hosted the entire show, not just the semifinal.

In third place came Azerbaijan, who debuted only a year prior and frequently sent songs intended to win, very much like Russia. Iceland scored second place for the second and latest time with a ballad that I have a surprising amount of thoughts on. Neither of those countries stood the slightest chance against Alexander Rybak from Norway, who won with a whopping 387 points. He broke the eight-year streak of countries winning for the first time; the only other first-time winners after this year have been Azerbaijan (2011) and Portugal (2017). I don’t know about you, but I think it’s about time someone new takes the crown.

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Cookie Fonster Gushes About Eurovision 2009 (Semifinals): A Bittersweet Journey to Moscow

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Intro Post

< 2008 Final | 2009 Semifinals | 2009 Final >

As of this writing, we now have all 37 artists confirmed for Eurovision 2024! The only songs we’re yet to hear are those from Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, and Israel. I’m mostly super excited about the contest this year, but I’m salty about the song that Germany chose and, more importantly, worried about the drama that Israel’s presence will cause.

Introduction

If you know anything about Russia, it won’t surprise you that when they won Eurovision in 2008, they immediately decided to host in Moscow. It’s their capital city, it’s by far their richest city, and it’s designed to leave foreigners with a positive impression of Russia. Knowing recent events, it’s bittersweet to think that 15 years ago, Russia was on good enough terms with the rest of Europe to host the gayest musical competition in the entire world. They even designed the most complex and glamorous stage we’ve seen in any contest yet.

The contest this year was tantalizingly close to featuring all of Europe. Slovakia rejoined after last participating in 1998, San Marino withdrew, and only Austria, Italy, Luxembourg, and Monaco were still gone. It didn’t seem like a tall order for the EBU to get these four countries to return, but unfortunately, the dream of Eurovision with a complete map still hasn’t been achieved. In addition, Georgia caused some drama by sending a song protesting against Vladimir Putin, which the EBU rejected. This meant that Georgia withdrew and the contest had a total of 42 countries. Still, it’s amazing how close Eurovision came to featuring the whole map from 2008 to 2011.

As with 2008, the contest had two semifinals with ten countries from each qualifying to the final: nine from televoting and one from backup juries. Then in the final, each country’s 1 to 12 points were determined using a mix of jury and televoting (but Norway was 100% jury due to a malfunction). This marked the return of juries to the Eurovision final.

I’m really excited to review this year, because it’s loaded with fan favorites and glamorous in presentation. I’ve always found Russia to be a fascinating country, so it should be interesting—and as I mentioned, bittersweet—to see how they hosted Eurovision. I watched the first semifinal with German commentary, this time commentated not by Peter Urban (who was sick) but Tim Frühling. And the second semifinal with Swedish commentary, by Shirley Clamp and Edward af Sillén. For some reason, it’s always easiest to find Eurovision commentary in Germanic languages.

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Cookie Fonster Rants About Eurovision 2008 (Final): A Headache of Joke Entries

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Intro Post

< 2008 Semifinals | 2008 Final | 2009 Semifinals >

Introduction

The grand final of Eurovision 2008 consisted of 25 countries: the Big Four, the host country of Serbia, and the 20 qualifiers from each semifinal. Since I extensively discussed the voting system in the introduction to the semifinal, I’ll discuss the hosts and stage design here.

You might think a year this filled with joke entries would have hosts that made exaggerated jokes at every opportunity, like those of 2000 and 2001, but the hosts this year have been professional and charismatic. One of them is the musical genius named Željko Joksimović. He composed a total of five Eurovision entries, the third of which is the Serbian entry this year. The other is a Serbian TV host named Jovana Janković. The two hosts entered a romantic relationship a few months after the contest and got married in 2012.

The stage design was based on the Danube and Sava rivers, which merge in Belgrade. That was the inspiration for this year’s theme, which is “Confluence of Sound”—nice to have a theme that relates to the host country. I think RTÉ is partly to thank for the pattern of annual stage designs, because whenever they hosted Eurovision in a building more than once, they made sure it looked different every time.

Greece and Ukraine continued their strong streaks this year, scoring third and second place this year. Russia won the contest for the first and only time with Dima Bilan, who scored second place in 2006. I firmly believe Russia won only because of bloc voting and when I review their song, I’ll explain why that is.

Marija Šerifović must have thought it’d be boring to perform “Molitva” unmodified at the start, so instead she started with a Eurodance version! I’m not a Eurodance fan, but this is a fun reimagination and so much more interesting than the usual reprises. Then she sings a rock ballad in English, which is clearly more of her typical style.

Since Eurovision 2008 is such a pain in the ass with copyright, I’ll continue watching with Norwegian commentary on the NRK website. I can’t speak Norwegian but I can pick up on words here and there, since I’ve read so many translations of songs in the Scandinavian languages. Plus, the commentator I’ve been watching (Hanne Hoftun) has a cute voice.

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Unorganized predictions and hopes for Eurovision 2024 (Volume 3)

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Since my last predictions post, nine more entries for Eurovision 2024 have been released, so the count is at 29 out of 37—36 if Israel withdraws, which I strongly feel would be the right thing to do. I’ll give initial thoughts on each of them, but I’ll be brief so I can save the deeper thoughts for after the contest happens.

Croatia (1) sent an absolute banger this year! Although it’s in English, it has a lot in common with “Cha Cha Cha” last year: it’s a danceable electronic song that alternates between chaotic and melodic parts and it has a serious message beneath its whimsy. The same is true about the Netherlands (2), who went with EXACTLY the kind of song I was hoping Joost Klein would send. Hot damn, the chorus of “Europapa” will stay in my head for a very long time. I love how it’s hectic most of the way through then has an emotional ending and I love that it makes so much use of the Dutch language (and a bit of a few others, even German!). Both songs should do well with the televote, hopefully with the juries too.

The United Kingdom (3) was the last Big Five member to release their song. The BBC has finally figured out how to stand out in post-language rule Eurovision: send songs by recognizable names that accurately represent the British music scene. I hope this manages to stand out in the final, because it seems simple on the surface but is captivating once you get into it.

Iceland (4) has a nice dance beat, but it’s too repetitive musically and I doubt it’ll qualify to the final. The runner-up of their national final (“Wild West” by Bashar Murad) is a total banger with badass lyrics, you should listen to it if you haven’t. Cyprus (5) went for the overproduced girl bop route and I’m not sure it will stand out among all the other girl bops, but I quite like the chorus. I imagine it’ll be staged similarly to “Fuego”.

Austria (6) and Switzerland (7) both internally selected, I imagine with the prompt “what would hype up the audience the most?” They both understood that prompt perfectly, each in their own way. I almost want Germany to internally select knowing this, but I do not trust NDR to touch Eurovision with a ten-foot pole, plus that’d make a German-language entry even less likely. The more songs are released for this year’s semifinal, the more I suspect it’ll be like 2021 and 2022, where most countries sent a properly competitive entry and Germany didn’t. I’m more hesitant to compare it to 2023, because while that year had a lot of strong entries, it was a clear two-horse race between Sweden and Finland. 2021 was extremely open and 2022 would’ve been just as open if it weren’t for the war in Ukraine.

Serbia (8) is a strong competitor as I expected. They’re one of few countries to send something slow this year, so their song is sure to stand out. It’s got the lyrical and singing style of a Balkan ballad (a genre I adore) and the instrumental style of a regular ballad (a style that’s become more enjoyable in 2020’s Eurovision). And finally we arrive at San Marino (9) who’s sending a funky rock song in Spanish, oh my god! They really are the wildcard of Eurovision. San Marino got lucky because Spain is voting in the second semifinal.

This is shaping up to be one hell of an exciting Eurovision year, but I’m uncomfortable with the drama that Israel’s participation has caused. It would be a weight lifted off everyone’s backs if Israel sat this year out. I hope you’re smart enough not to take this as an attack on the Israeli people. The war is terrifying for both Palestinians and Israelis and all I wish for is peace between the two countries.

Cookie Fonster Rants About Eurovision 2008 (Semifinals): The Year of Rainbow Barf Staging

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Intro Post

< 2007 Final | 2008 Semifinals | 2008 Final >

We’ve heard 29 songs out of 37 (36 if Israel withdraws) for Eurovision 2024! I plan on releasing “Unorganized predictions and hopes for Eurovision 2024 (Volume 3)” within the next few days.

Introduction

If you thought Eurovision 2007 had an overly huge lineup of countries, then 2008 was even crazier. All countries from 2007 returned except for Austria, and two made their debut: the oft-forgotten microstate of San Marino, and the controversial Caucasus country of Azerbaijan. This meant that singers representing 43 countries would go to Belgrade (the capital of Serbia) and battle for the grand prize. The map of Europe was now complete, except for two microstates (Liechtenstein and Vatican City) and the disputed country of Kosovo, which declared independence three months before the contest. The only new country that has joined since then is Australia.

The 2007 semifinal had 28 countries compete for ten slots, which was a death sentence for any country without enough bloc voting partners. To prevent this from happening again, the EBU overhauled the format for 2008. From this year onwards, only the Big Four and the host country qualified straight to the finals, whereas the other countries were split across two semifinals. These 38 countries were divided into six pots based on bloc voting patterns, so that half of each pot would go to semifinal 1, and the other half to semifinal 2. The participants in semifinal 1 were not allowed to vote in semifinal 2, and vice versa. The Big Four and host country could only vote in one semifinal each: as decided by a random draw, Spain and Germany voted in the first one, and the UK, France, and Serbia voted in the second. All participating countries got to vote in the final.

Ten countries were picked to qualify from each semifinal: the top nine were determined from televoting, and the tenth using backup juries. But in the grand final, the results were once again pure televoting (except San Marino, which used backup juries). Though the voting would get tweaked in later years, especially regarding the presence of juries, the two-semifinal format has remained the same. After the problem of too many participating countries began in 1993, the EBU finally found a good solution. Some fans aren’t happy about the Big Five rule, but otherwise the two-semifinal system works like a charm.

For some reason, uploads of the 2008 semifinals are tough to find online, especially those with commentary. NRK came to the rescue and has the entire broadcast on their website with Norwegian commentary, so long as I have a VPN set to Norway. Expect a lot of “the Norwegian commentator said something about ABBA and Bobbysocks”. Actually, I’ve been referring to commentators by their names as of late, and her name is Hanne Hoftun.

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