Introduction

I’ve wanted to do this post for quite a while after finishing my 2024 review, and it finally occurrent to me to do so on a Tuesday where I woke up much too early. Please enjoy this list of the most horrific song from every country in Eurovision! Most countries have sent at least one song that I hate so much, listening to them makes me want to murder someone. OK, maybe not that far, but punch a wall, throw my computer out the window, destructive stuff like that. I don’t know why these songs make me so angry to listen to, but they do. Some countries have sent multiple rage-inducing entries, so it’ll be a real challenge to find the worst entry from some of them. This post also serves as an excuse to tear into songs which I previously didn’t give the scalding rant they deserved. I won’t include Morocco because they only sent one entry, or Serbia + Montenegro because they only sent two.

See also my two posts about the best song per Eurovision country: 1956-1998, and 1999-2024 (plus overall).

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Albania

My least favorite Albanian entry is easily 2012, Suus. I know some fans love it and think it’s an artistic masterpiece, but to me it’s nothing more than a pretentious showcase of lung capacity. Her screaming is so fucking loud and hurts my poor, precious, fragile ears, which means I cannot listen to the song. Just read my fellow Eurovision reviewer Erica’s post about 2012, “Suus” is her least favorite Eurovision song of all time.

Andorra

This one is just as easy as my favorite Andorran entry. 2008, Casanova is an utterly hideous bottom-of-the-barrel Eurodance song with the most generic beat and synths and thickly accented lyrics that make no sense.

Armenia

Easily 2020, Chains on You. I know it’s the worst Armenian entry because I refuse to even relisten to it to check how bad it really is. Last time I listened to “Chains on You”, it got stuck in my head for the next few hours and I felt as though I was in a torture chamber.

Australia

There is one Australian entry I truly adore, which is “Promise” from 2023, and two that I truly hate: “Don’t Break Me” for the unlistenable cry-singing, and “Not the Same” for the overemoted X Factor singing over a pretentious ballad plus title repetitis. It’s quite obvious that 2022, Not the Same has more things to hate about it, and in fact it’s my absolute last place of 2022. I’ve gradually been ranking more and more Eurovision years and should really find a way to release the rankings publicly. Since you’re here right now, here’s a link to my 2022 rankings.

Austria

Most Eurovision fans choose “Woki mit deim Popo” from 2012 as their least favorite Austrian entry. I don’t like that one at all, but there’s an Austrian entry I hate far more, and that is 2011, The Secret Is Love. It’s a pretentious power ballad whose singer has a PhD from the school of volume = quality. The sole purpose of the song is showcasing her voice; the music is an afterthought. I hate the acapella intro, I hate how goddamn loud her voice gets, I hate that the generic ballady beat, and I hate the cheesy lyrics. Oh god, and I especially hate her long shouty notes near the end. They’re foreshadowing of the even worse “Suus”.

Azerbaijan

The worst Azeri entry by far is their debut entry, 2008, Day After Day. It’s just three minutes of screaming, end of story.

Belarus

Most Belarusian entries aren’t great or anything, but the negatively received ones generally aren’t that bad. Except for 2010, Butterflies, which is a hideous ballad with emotionless singers that don’t harmonize at all, plus illogical lyrics. My fellow reviewer Vlad hates it even more than I do, and he wrote a truly epic rant about it.

Belgium

I hope you haven’t forgotten how much I despise 1985, Laat me nu gaan. It’s one of those breakup ballads with sad lyrics but an instrumental that’s just dull and in major key, she looks bored out of her mind when singing it, and she’s clearly not comfortable singing in such a high range. Dishonorable mentions to “Mother” from 2014 for being weird in a bad way, and “Wake Up” from 2019 for being a trainwreck on stage.

Bosnia and Herzegovina

There is no Bosnian entry I hate half as much as 2008, Pokušaj. It’s probably supposed to be a joke entry but I still don’t understand what the joke is, nor is it any good musically.

Bulgaria

This is probably the most controversial pick in this blog post. My least favorite Bulgarian entry could just as well be either of Victoria’s entries (2020 and 2021 respectively). Both are dreary sadgirl ballads with no recognizable beat, obnoxious cursive singing, and teen trauma lyrics that I can’t stand. “Tears Getting Sober” has a slightly less unpleasant melody, so I’ll choose 2021, Growing Up Is Getting Old as Bulgaria’s low point.

Croatia

Wait, this country sent songs to Eurovision other than “Rim Tim Tagi Dim”? OK, this isn’t quite fair, since some of their 1990’s and 2000’s entries are pretty good. Some of their entries starting 2010 are notoriously crap, but the one that pushes my buttons the most is 2019, The Dream. It’s nothing but a storm of my pet peeves, and we’re going to see more such songs throughout this post.

I love watching the 2024 recap of Croatian entries because it tells a story of a country rising to great musical heights, plummeting to the worst depths, then ending with the most epic rebirth ever seen.

Cyprus

My two candidates are both dull ballads with bad vocals: “Why Angels Cry” from 2006 and “Firefly” from 2009. I’ll go with 2009, Firefly because those vocals are just so awful. I’m not sure if it’s exactly a ballad, but it’s close enough for me.

Czechia

The only really bad Czech entry is the trashy Europop song, 2008, Have Some Fun. All others I either like, have some respect for, or are unexciting but not horrible ballads. For instance, “Malá dáma” from 2007 is extremely not for me, but I know the locals love this type of grunge rock so I at least respect it. Czechia’s history in Eurovision is still young—they’ve only participated 2007-2009 and 2015-present. I hope they can eventually give me a new favorite Czech entry rather than a new least favorite. Though I have to say, “Pedestal” from 2024 is hard to top!

Denmark

I’m going to be petty. 1985, Sku’ du spørg’ fra no’en? has a screaming child, no other Danish entry has a screaming child. Therefore their 1985 entry is the worst of all. Dishonorable mention to “For din skyld” from 1965 for being one of those ultra-slow and dreary major key ballads that do not match the lyrics about heartbreak in the slightest. I wish I could choose that one, but alas, it has no screaming child.

Even putting aside the hollering kid, I never liked Hot Eyes’ flavor of Danish schlagers. I can’t fully explain why, but they’re a little too schlagery if that makes sense. There’s just not enough substance beneath the schlageriness. Contrast this against “Vi maler byen rød” from 1989, a Danish schlager done to perfection.

Estonia

This one is annoyingly easy—obviously I have no choice but to pick the hideous joke entry 2008, Leto svet. Aside from this and “Let’s Get Loud”, Estonia seems to avoid sending awful entries to the contest.

Finland

This one’s easy, I’ll go with 2015, Aina mun pitää. It’s one of those grunge rock songs with the “barfing up your breakfast” style of singing that some people love, but not me. Dishonorable mention to “A Little Bit” from 2000 for being a sappy storm of namedropping, and honestly… not much else. I like or at least tolerate most Finnish entries. Finland’s recap is one of my favorite compilation videos to rewatch.

France

I’m very happy I get to pick an old-timey entry for this one. 1965, N’avoue jamais is the worst entry France has sent because it’s a shitty ballad with misogynist lyrics whose singer sounds like a 15-year-old and needs a slap in the face. He comes off as though all his girlfriends dumped him because he was a dick to them, but he’s so egotistical he thinks only the mistake he ever made was confessing his feelings too soon.

Georgia

I think the worst Georgian entry has to be 2012, I’m a Joker, because it’s Georgian quirk done wrong, and also a really crappy song. Not well-composed, not well-produced, not good at all. The opposite of the delightfully quirky “Lock Me In” from 2022. I’d like to give dishonorable mention to “Piss Will Come” from 2008 for being a shitty ballad with the most obnoxious title of all time. Why exactly is she singing about piss, and why is it so important that urine comes to the world? Some people will tell you the song is called “Peace Will Come”, but that’s incorrect. At least “Piss Will Come” has a coherent melody which means it’s not as bad as “I’m a Joker”.

Germany

For all that I complain about my country’s approach to Eurovision, I don’t actually hate most of our entries individually. What I hate is the “let’s send a sappy peace ballad every year” era from 1985 to 1992* and the “German-language music doesn’t exist” era from 2008 to the present. But now’s not the time to be whiny, because Stefan Raab is in charge of the 2025 German national final and they got 3,218 submissions, which is way more than the 693 submissions to the last German selection, and more than the 2,794 submissions to Melodifestivalen! Eat on that, Sweden! That’s already something to be proud of and we don’t even have the list of competing entries yet. But boy, am I impatient to see it.

That said, it’s pretty easy to find a German slop pop entry that I hate more than all others: 2017, Perfect Life. I think it’s more embarrassingly bad than “Run & Hide” from 2005 and “I Don’t Feel Hate” from 2021, which are the most hated modern German entries.

* Maybe 1983 to 1992, but the first two entries from that timespan are at least respectable.

Greece

From this country, I can pick out five entries that are notorious trainwrecks, either to me or to the general public: “Clown” from 1988, “S.A.G.A.P.O.” from 2002, “Utopian Land” from 2016, “Better Love” from 2019, and “What They Say” from 2023. I’ll eliminate the first, second, and fifth of these because they’re all bad in an entertaining way, which leaves me to choose between “Utopian Land” and “Better Love”. “Utopian Land” is a poorly composed disaster of a song, but I think it has a few decent musical ideas buried deep inside. On the other hand, 2019, Better Love is pure pain that drives me insane in every way. I don’t know what I hate more, the song itself or the fact that it qualified over “Az én apám” which is both my favorite Hungarian entry and my winner of 2019.

Hungary

I had to watch a recap to determine my least favorite Hungarian entry, because not until watching it did I remember the loathsome 2013, Kedvesem existed. The title repetitis is the main reason I hate it, because it’s so FUCKING annoying how many times he sings “kedvesem”. It doesn’t help that his voice sounds completely weak and raspy throughout the song. I actually kind of like parts of the instrumental, mostly the high synth during the verses, but the title repetition and bad singing spoil it.

Iceland

My least favorite Icelandic entry is a contest between three utterly dull ballads: “Það sem enginn ser” from 1989, “Unbroken” from 2015, and “Our Choice” from 2018. All three are different flavors of dull: the first is lifeless dull, the second is “oh god she’s so shaky and can’t sing” dull, and the third is “Iceland you can do better than this” dull. Out of these, 2015, Unbroken has the most things wrong with it. It’s also one of those songs that feels like an endless chorus due to the four-chord progression. Bet you weren’t expecting this choice, were you? Yeah, I forgot it existed till I watched a recap of Icelandic entries. Especially because the other two are more infamously bad, having scored zero points and dead last respectively.

Ireland

I wish Ireland hadn’t sent the pissy joke entry 2008, Irelande Douze Pointe because if they hadn’t, it would be an interesting challenge to decide which Irish entry I hate the most. I think the worst besides this is one of my niche unfavorites: “The Real Me” from 1989. The whole song is so damn lifeless and flat, especially because of his drunk-sounding voice. I relistened to part of that song in my video copy of Eurovision 1989, then asked myself, “why am I reviewing Eurovision if it has so many horrible songs?” I skipped later in the video to my beloved “La dolce vita”, and then I remembered why. Let’s also not forget the painful singing of “They Can’t Stop the Spring” from 2007, the prepubescent-sounding ballad “Dying to Try” from 2017, and the painfully dull corporate song “We Are One” from 2023.

Israel

As with Denmark, I’m gonna choose the song with the screaming child which is 1989, Derech Hamelech. Honestly most of the infamously bad Israeli entries are bad in an entertaining way, especially “Sameach” and “Push the Button”, whereas “Derech Hamelech” is bad in a painful way.

Italy

Most Eurovision fans would be hard-pressed to name an Italian entry they hate, but for me it’s quite easy. 1980, Non so che darei is easily the worst Italian entry because I just can’t put up with that English-accented falsetto, and the instrumental is just a boring ballad.

Latvia

This one should be obvious to those who have read all of my reviews: 2021, The Moon Is Rising. It’s probably my second least favorite Eurovision song of all time and I’m still very proud of the rant I wrote about it. You have no idea how happy it makes me that this fucking horrendous piece of off-key waily crap with annoying sex noises was the dead last place of the entire year. Out of all the past ten Eurovision contests, 2021 is probably the one where I agree with the results the most. The biggest crimes are Bulgaria scoring as high as 11th place and Albania scoring only 21st (I blame the death slot), but amazingly there’s not a single non-qualifier I’m heartbroken about. Even Denmark, the best of the non-qualifiers, is only a song I moderately like.

Lithuania

Watching a recap of Lithuanian entries is an interesting experience, because they used to be so bad at Eurovision and now they’re so good at it.* Many fans think they’re the next country in line to win for the first time, and I can see why. Anyway, my pick for the worst Lithuanian entry might be controversial: 2018, When We’re Old. Yes, I think it’s worse than the widely hated “Happy You” from 2002 and “Nomads in the Night” from 2008; I actually think the latter is bad in a funny way. “When We’re Old” is already too much of a dreary ballad musically, but the breathy cursive singing spoils it completely.

* And because it makes me remember how much I fucking adore “Sentimentai”.

Luxembourg

I can’t stand all those Luxembourgish entries where the singer has a thick English accent, and the worst of them has to be 1974, Bye Bye I Love You because of that damn stompy beat. But clearly the juries didn’t agree with me because they awarded it with fourth place.

Malta

2022, I Am What I Am is my least favorite Maltese entry because it has a perfect storm of musical tropes I despise. I already wrote a pretty good rant about it in this post, so no need to repeat myself. That said, I’ve since been informed that Emma Muscat’s managers forced her to replace “Out of Sight” after winning the national final, so my complaint about selfishness now goes to them instead of her.

Moldova

This one is easy, since most of Moldova’s entries are fun or at least interesting, but 2019, Stay is just a dull ballad that pretends not to be dull by having sand art. Dishonorable mention to “In the Middle” from 2024 for being disappointingly dull, but at least it’s not a ballad. I hope Moldova returns to being fun and happy in 2025.

Monaco

Nope, I’m not gonna choose the widely hated “La Coco-Dance” from 2006. Instead I’ll go for the hideous abomination 1967, Boum-Badaboum. Given how irresistibly awesome “Poupée de cire, poupée de son” from 1965 is, I find it so baffling that this song from the same songwriter is so horrible. It’s just some girl shouting “boum-badaboum” over and over again for three minutes and displaying no ability to sing. And yet I still don’t hate it as much as “Quel cœur vas-tu briser” from the same year.

Montenegro

The two most hated Montenegrin entries both have their fanbases: “Euro Neuro” from 2012 and “Igranka” from 2013, two songs that absolutely crack me up. The one entry of theirs with nothing to like about it is 2019, Heaven. They simply didn’t try at all that year, I don’t even get what they were thinking. Let’s hope Montenegro qualifies in 2025! Balkan ballads usually make it through with some neighborly help, and their entry “Dobrodošli” is as Balkan-ballady as it gets. I actually heard it just once before I knew it would be the Montenegrin entry, and I haven’t heard it again since.

Netherlands

You know, the Netherlands doesn’t actually have many crap entries. Even most of the songs from their non-qualifier streak aren’t bad, but more just confused. Except for “Shine” from 2009, which was an absolute trainwreck live. Even that isn’t quite as bad as 2013, Birds, a song that tastes like wine to me. I absolutely hate wine so I hate that song too. I don’t hate wine quite as much as I hate beer though. When I ranked 2013 this ended up my last place, so it’s funny that the very next year the Netherlands became my runaway winner. At this point I’m pretty sure “Calm After the Storm” is my second favorite Eurovision song of all time.

North Macedonia

I refuse to pick “Sto posto te ljubam” from 2000 as my least favorite North Macedonian entry, because I love its studio version. No, seriously, it’s an unironically great song, and the live vocals are bad in an over-the-top hilarious way. Instead I’ll go with 2015, Autumn Leaves because it’s a super dull ballad with nothing to like about it. I think it might only be because of their 2000 entry that people think of North Macedonia as one of the worst countries at Eurovision. Pretty much every year otherwise, they sent an honest effort!

Norway

For a country with such a diverse Eurovision repertoire, choosing the worst Norwegian entry is pretty easy. 2016, Icebreaker is by far the worst one because I CAN’T. FUCKING. STAND those abrupt tempo changes. Dishonorable mentions to “Oj, oj, oj, så glad jeg skal bli” from 1969 for being insanely all over the place (yes, I know I was fairly positive about it when I reviewed that year), “Mata Hari” from 1976 for also being weird and discordant (I recently rewatched 1976 and my opinion on it soured), and “On My Own” from 2001 for being the type of sentimental ballad that makes me want to sleep.

Poland

There are three contenders for the worst Polish entry that I can’t stand: “Sama” from 1995, “Legenda” from 2010, and “My Słowianie” from 2014. The third entry I had previously said I love and hate at the same time, but now I can’t stand listening to it. Her loud shouty rap-singing hurts my ears, but the song does have one good part: the accordion break where she graciously stops singing. “Sama” is for the most part a nightmare of dissonance with too much screaming, but I somewhat like the atmospheric intro, and the bridge section where the song gets less discordant is almost a little good. On the other hand, 2010, Legenda has absolutely no redeemable parts. It’s extremely dissonant and has really ugly melodies, and is simply not a well-composed song by any stretch of the imagination.

Portugal

This one is pretty easy, I’ll just go with something from their checked-out era (roughly 1997 to 2015): 2005, Amar. This is pure “what the fuck is this?”, an absolute bottom of the barrel entry intended solely to sign the presence sheet.

Romania

2021, Amnesia is my least favorite Romanian entry, though it faces competition from “Yodel It” from 2017 and of course Roxen’s other entry “Alcohol You”. It’s a sadgirl ballad from the school of “trauma is beautiful” that came off as a trainwreck on stage, and it has the same weird cursive singing as Bulgaria’s “Growing Up Is Getting Old”.

Russia

This one is stupidly obvious. 2018, I Won’t Break is the one time Russia purposely sent a bad song and in that, they succeeded. They failed to treat Julia Samoylova with even slight respect and during her performance she just looks dead inside. Russian singers named Julia might just be cursed, because their second worst entry is “Believe Me” from 2004 and the singer also looks like she doesn’t want to be there.

San Marino

I’ll go with 2022, Stripper because it’s a weird and incoherent attempt at a rock song and barely even has a melody. At least the way-too-many San Marino entries that Ralph Siegel composed each have a clear melody.

Serbia

This is a tricky one because most of Serbia’s entries are good or at least listenable. The only Serbian entry that I dislike has to be 2023, Samo mi se spava. I know the song has its fanbase, but to me it’s more of a mumbly artistic performance than a song.

Slovakia

Not a lot of entries to choose from here, so I’ll go with 2011, I’m Still Alive. It’s an ultra-dull four-chord ballad with generic self-platitude lyrics and a vaguely stompy beat. A perfect example of the dullness that defines Eurovision 2011.

Slovenia

This one is pretty easy, because 2004, Stay Forever is one of the most sleep-inducing ballads in Eurovision history. I can’t explain why, but this ballad in particular stands out for being completely void of emotion. Also, when watching a recap of Slovenian entries, I get super jealous of this country for singing in their own language so often.

Spain

As I’ve said before, 1983, Quién maneja mi barca is my least favorite Eurovision song of all time. The reason I hate it more than anything else is because both the music and vocals are pure pain to listen to, which is rare in Eurovision. The instrumental is an completely dissonant mess of ear-piercing synths, a bassline that drags on and on, and a slow stompy drum beat that feels like I’m swimming in mud. Her vocals sound like the singer herself is being tortured, let’s leave it at that. I don’t like listening to people get tortured and I’m guessing you don’t either. And to me, this song is equivalent to torture.

The one downside of me hating “Quién maneja mi barca” is that it isn’t very easy to make fun of that song. Contrast this against “Do It For Your Lover” from 2017, a Spanish entry that everyone and their mom makes fun of, and rightly so. It’s too bad I hate it slightly less than their entry from 1983.

Sweden

Most of the old Swedish entries are pretty good or at least listenable, and the modern Swedish entries (which are almost all swedo-pop) are for the most part annoyingly pleasant to listen to. There are quite a few swedo-pop entries that I want to hate but find perfectly listenable, especially the flashy dancey “hot boy sings about how much he wants to fuck a girl” tunes. Luckily, there is one swedo-pop entry I hate with every fiber of my being, and that’s 2013, You. The instrumental sounds like pseudo-uplifting corporate music, he sings “it’s all because of yo-o-o-o-ou” way too many times which eventually dominates the lyrics, and I absolutely hate his screaming notes in the final chorus. It’s the screamy notes that make me outright hate the song, and I’m so relieved that there’s one swedo-pop tune that I have a reason to despise.

Switzerland

I’m a little pissed because I so badly want to pick “Quel cœur vas-tu briser” from 1967, that lame-ass breakup ballad that sounds like an “I’m so in love with you” ballad with those dull chords and boring rhythm and singer who doesn’t have the faintest clue how to sing or express herself. But that song just is annoyingly dull, whereas 2006, If We All Give a Little is so bad it makes me want to strangle someone. I am rewatching it right now for the sake of this post and making disgusted noises with my mouth. It’s an awful fake-ass peace ballad which manages to squeeze every musical pet peeve of mine into three minutes. Vlad hates it just as much as I do and wrote a rant about it is in his 2006 review, you should read it. The song used that obnoxious “stompy final chorus” trope before it was cool. It even has long waily notes over the stompy beat part which I also fucking hate.

Turkey

My least favorite Turkish entry is the most annoying one of all, 2006, Süper Star with all those shouty voice skips. The only other one that’s at all tough to listen to is “Bana Bana” from 1989, and even that one I have to respect for being so out there.

Also, watching recaps is making me realize how goddamn awesome the stage design in Helsinki 2007 is. As I said in my review of that year, Finland successfully put on a timeless show. I can’t fully explain why, but the two surrounding years absolutely reek of the 2000’s, whereas Finland’s stage and visual design would work just as well in 2024. I’d say the stage design is on par with Rotterdam 2021 and Liverpool 2023.

Ukraine

Ah, the country that gave us my favorite Eurovision song of all time! (If you somehow didn’t know, it’s Dancing Lasha Tumbai.) They’ve sent only two songs to Eurovision that I actively dislike: “Sweet People” from 2010 and “Be My Guest” from 2012. A screamy dramatic ballad and a shouty football chant respectively. Out of these two, “Sweet People” has slightly more annoying singing but a much more interesting instrumental, so my least favorite is the shouty barrage of dance synths, 2012, Be My Guest. Is this how all EDM sounds to people who hate the genre?

United Kingdom

For a country that sent many notoriously bad entries in the 21st century, it’s surprisingly easy for me to pick a least favorite: 2010, That Sounds Good to Me. Just as there are some Eurovision entries that have a big crush on, this is a song that I want to slap in the face.

Yugoslavia

Most people choose “Brazil” from 1991 as their least favorite Yugoslav entry, but that one is at least interesting whereas they’ve sent many ballads that are dull as fuck. I can’t be bothered to relisten to those old Yugoslav ballads in full to see which is the dullest of them all, so I’ll just go with 1970, Pridi, dala ti bom cvet which is dull, slow, sappy, and on top of that has an irritating squeaky voice.

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Statistics and conclusion

Here are how my least favorites break down by year once again:

• 1965, 1 song
• 1967, 1 song
• 1974, 1 song
• 1980, 1 song
• 1983, 1 song
• 1985, 2 songs
• 1989, 1 song
• 2004, 1 song
• 2005, 1 song
• 2006, 2 songs
• 2008, 6 songs
• 2009, 1 song
• 2010, 3 songs
• 2011, 2 songs
• 2012, 3 songs
• 2013, 3 songs
• 2015, 3 songs
• 2016,1 song
• 2017, 1 song
• 2018, 2 songs
• 2019, 4 songs
• 2020, 1 song
• 2021, 3 songs
• 2022, 3 songs
• 2023, 1 songs

As you can see, these selections are skewed quite a bit towards recent years, but not as heavily as my favorites per country. I think that’s mostly because about half the competing countries in Eurovision didn’t join till 1993 or later.

Another conclusion to draw from this post is that almost every country has sent at least one total piece of crap to Eurovision. Out of the songs I picked in this post, the least bad is “Autumn Leaves” from North Macedonia, followed by “Samo mi se spava” from Serbia. Congratulations to North Macedonia for having the best worst Eurovision song in their history!

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My next Eurovision-related post will be about the German national final after it ends, which is on March 1. After that, I’ll see you all again when Eurovision 2025 rolls around! Remember, I’ll be going to Basel for the contest and I preregistered for tickets about a week ago.