Intro Post

< 2020 Semifinal 1 | 2020 Semifinal 2 | 2021 Semifinals >

Introduction

In this post I go through the other 21 songs of Eurovision 2020, the contest that was canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This includes the 18 songs that would’ve competed in semifinal 2, and the three automatic qualifiers who would’ve voted here: France, the UK, and Spain. This will be a way weaker lineup of songs than semifinal 1, but it also contains the song that most fans believe would’ve won 2020: “Think About Things” from Iceland.

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Greece: Supergirl

Artist: Stefania Liberakakis

Language: English

Key: D minor

A Eurovision semifinal opening with a girl bop in English—at this point, it’s as predictable as Greek and Cypriot televoters giving each other twelve points. This is year two of Greece sending a diaspora singer, this time a Dutch girl who had even participated in Junior Eurovision 2016 representing the Netherlands.

I wonder how many Eurovision contestants have been selected over the years that happen to be able to speak the host country’s language (other than English)? I can think of a few off the top of my head. Eldar Gasimov (2011) and Måns Zelmerlöw (2015) can speak German (which really warms my heart); Latvia’s Laura Rizzotto (2018) speaks Portuguese*; and Stefania of course natively speaks Dutch.

This is another song where I scoured YouTube to find a live performance, because I didn’t want to just go off the music video which tells a story of a girl in high school having superpowers. I found this performance in the Zapp Muziekfeest 2022 hosted in Houten. She was 19 years old at that point but still leaned into the high school aesthetic, which I assume she would’ve also done in Eurovision.

I wish we could’ve seen this come to life on the Eurovision stage, because I rather like this dance song, especially the punchy bass and the ethnic-sounding instrument in the chorus. The best part is probably the choir leading up to the final chorus. Since this is the weaker of the two semifinals, I think Greece would have qualified with ease.

* God, I love listening to people speak Portuguese, even if I can’t understand what they’re saying. It’s absolute music to my ears.

Estonia: What Love Is

Artist: Uku Suviste

Language: English

Key: A minor

A ballad in the death slot is as predictable as… let’s say the Greek and Cypriot juries giving each other twelve points. Doesn’t necessarily happen every year, but it’s never surprising when it does. This is an average ballad about the singer falling in love for the first time and it makes me feel nothing. I don’t think it would have qualified, but I’m not sure how it compares to all others yet.

Austria: Alive

Artist: Vincent Bueno

Language: English

Key: C♯ minor

And now we have an attempt at a Bruno Mars-style funky dance song. I somewhat like this, especially because of the jazzy chords and funky bassline, but it’s just missing an extra spark of greatness that I can’t put my finger on. I wouldn’t turn this off if it played in the background, but I wouldn’t willingly revisit this.

Moldova: Prison

Artist: Natalia Gordienko, returning from 2006

Language: English

Key: I’m not sure which key to consider canonical, but let’s go with D minor—the key of the national final version. The studio version is in E minor instead.

I’m surprised Erica likes this song so much, because I would definitely call it a ballad. For once, this is a song that she likes and I find too ballady. It starts off as a 6/8 ballad, but it gains more of a synth beat once the second verse begins. It has that classic Philipp Kirkorov production style—let’s pretend he is just the cool mysterious dude who composed songs like “You Are the Only One” and “Shady Lady” and ignore how much of an absolute jackass he is. Most Eurovision fans seem to like this and Natalia Gordienko’s next entry equally. I find this fairly good, but it can’t just be me who massively prefers “Sugar” from 2021… right?

San Marino: Freaky!

Artist: Senhit, returning from 2011

Language: English

Key: E minor

I don’t even remember what Senhit’s last song is like, but I do think it’s way better than her last one. It’s not jaw-dropping or anything, but it’s a fun enough joyous disco tune with good melodies and I’m not annoyed at all by her talk-singing, it’s not that intrusive. It’s brassy and funky and just a little bit freaky and it’s one of the few San Marino entries that I would’ve genuinely hoped would qualify, if only so that San Marino could be thrown a bone twice in a row. And besides, this semifinal has way less than ten entries that I give a crap about.

Czechia: Kemama

Artist: Benny Cristo

Language: English

Key: B♭ minor

Yet again I find myself agreeing with Erica’s review: this has a kind of nice Caribbean sound, indeed a surprise for a Slavic country, but “Feker Libi” does it so much better. It has fairly nice synths and guitars but just isn’t really my thing. It has only one chord progression and his style of singing I don’t think would have connected to the audience well; it certainly doesn’t connect to me. The contrast in quality between the first and second semifinals this year reminds me of the 2024 semifinals except in reverse.

Serbia: Hasta la vista

Artist: Hurricane, a girl trio

Language: Serbo-Croatian (Serbian) plus a phrase in Spanish

Key: D minor

Now we have the third and last of three Slavic countries’ entries titled “Hasta la vista”! I think I’ve liked almost every Serbian entry sung in Serbian so far, and found every entry of theirs in English to be disappointing. Serbia you guys have done it again, I wish more countries could approach Eurovision like you.

This song is buckets of girlband fun and super easy to like. It throws so much into my ears and is an overwhelming experience in the best way. I just want to party to this as I listen to the extremely dense Serbian lyrics. These girls are like Feminnem except ten times better, or perhaps like a Serbian Las Ketchup. I don’t understand an ounce of their words (except “hasta la vista, baby”) but I can just tell it’s a sassy romantic girly bop. This would have qualified to the final with ease.

Poland: Empires

Artist: Alicja Szemplińska

Language: English

Key: C minor

This is some kind of orchestral rock ballad with a deep voice that doesn’t really click with me, the definition of “it’s dramatic I guess”. Maybe the stage could’ve brought it to life, but Poland didn’t seem to have a high-budget national final so it’s hard to say. And for all that I complain about abrupt endings in modern Eurovision (or really since the 1980’s), I feel like the ending of this is too dramatized.

Iceland: Think About Things

Artist: Daði Freyr

Language: English

Key: E♭ minor, F minor

Oh my god you guys, finally we have something interesting! I wish I could put “(the winner)” after the song’s title and color it red, but that would be incorrect. And putting in “(the probable winner)” wouldn’t be a fact, it would be an opinion. It is my opinion though: I agree with the fandom’s consensus that Iceland would’ve won Eurovision 2020, and there’s a good amount of evidence to back this. Not only is it a widely appealing song to fans of all ages and backgrounds, but in the several alternative programs where countries gave entries an unofficial 12 points, such as “Sveriges 12:a” and Austria’s “Der Kleine Song Contest”, Iceland almost always won.

I just rewatched the national final performance of this song and had a smile on my face the entire time. Everything about this song is totally goddamn awesome and almost gives me tears of joy. Where do I even begin with it? Let’s start with the first thing people are likely to mention about this song: the lyrics.

It might not be immediately obvious, but the lyrics of the song are about Daði Freyr’s daughter who was born in 2019. And once you know that fact, you’ll realize how cleverly written (and absolutely heartwarming) it is. There are little hints that imply it’s about his daughter, like “you are yet to learn how to speak”, or “three birds of a feather” referring to him, his wife, and his daughter. The whole song tells those who have never had kids what it feels like to raise a newborn baby, which is such a cool and creative topic for a song. So many people write songs about their husband, their ex-girlfriend, their mom or dad, or even their grandparents, but can you think of a single other person who’s written a song about their child? I sure can’t, and that’s why I love these lyrics.

The whole song is so genuine and honest and represents a positive way that I think Eurovision entries have evolved in the past almost 70 years. In the early years of the contest, the singers were all essentially actors telling whimsical stories, about life being en yndig tid 50 years ago, or a man meeting his lovely ring-a-ding girl, or zwei kleine Italiener who miss their homeland. Some songs are still fictional stories, but in modern Eurovision it’s become common for songs to tell the singers’ real life personal stories. They’re not just actors where the viewer suspends disbelief, they’re using music to tell their own stories.

This guy is so himself when he composes music, I can just tell from his instrumentals. He doesn’t conform to any manufactured pop music, but instead cobbles together songs from whatever synths and instrument patches he thinks sound nice, and I love him for that. He’s very much like a video game composer in that sense. Maybe it’s influence from the pixel art theming, but I’ve always gotten a video game music vibe from all of his Eurovision trilogy.

Daði Freyr’s trilogy begins with “Is This Love?”, his entry in Söngvakeppnin 2017, and it’s about the first time he met his wife. I can tell it was written by a younger Daði: his musical style isn’t quite as developed and his Icelandic accent is thicker, but the song intrigues me for that reason. I can sense the making of a Eurovision legend from this. Part two of the trilogy is “Think About Things” from 2020, about his baby daughter, and part three is of course “10 Years” from 2021, a reflection upon his happy marriage. I love, love, love that all three songs tell his biography together, and I look forward to discussing the conclusion of the trilogy when I reach “10 Years”.

I can just tell the producers wanted to do their usual shtick of saving the fan favorite for the end of the semifinal, but it was drawn into the first half so instead it got number 9 out of 18. And you know what? I’m glad it got drawn into the first half, because this half was in dire need of an actually good entry. I would’ve put it at the start of the semifinal personally. It would have qualified with ease, I don’t know what the producers were worried about.

I should also give shoutouts to the Icelandic version of this song, called “Gagnamagnið”. Contrasting against the English version, this song tells a fictional story of Gagnamagnið (“the data rate”), his backing band that the song is sometimes credited to. According to the Icelandic lyrics, the band came from the future to warn people of impending doom, which can only be avoided if everyone follows their dance. Daði Freyr has said “Think About Things” is the real version of this song, but he had to make an Icelandic version for the national final, so he embraced making it completely different, and I love him for that.

My god, I so badly wish this song had won Eurovision 2020. It would have been so absolutely perfect way to complete the quintet of Nordic countries winning, and it would be a great representation of indie artists who compose music on their own and make whatever they think sounds good. And plus, how fucking cool would it be for a man singing about his baby daughter to win Eurovision? There are other songs I find more addictive, but I think this would have AND should have won. It has just the right balance of popularity among casual fans and appeal to the juries. It’s the kind of song that gets the entirety of Europe hyped up, which is exactly what a song needs to stand a chance at winning.

Switzerland: Répondez-moi

Artist: Gjon’s Tears (Gjon Muharremaj)

Language: French

Key: E♭ minor

I get the same feeling listening to this song as “Solovey”: it’s the predecessor to a song that I’m way more obsessed with and is way more Eurovisiony. I may not be as obsessed with this song as “Tout l’univers”, but as happens so often, I agree with Erica’s review. It’s a male ballad showcasing vocal skills in a way that just works, and it really is mournful in all the right ways. I love that it’s fully in French (unlike another country) and has a distinctly French style of phrasing in its lyrics, if that makes sense. The lyrics are all a bunch of ponderance about why life works the way it does, and he asks an unknown entity to give him an answer (répondez-moi).

This is the kind of song with a subtle buildup that keeps the listener engaged without even realizing how dramatically it builds up. It is cinematic and modern and has some interesting curveball chords, so it’s exactly like a proto-“Tout l’univers”. It’s the last of five songs that I think would’ve reached the top five: the other (in order of when I reviewed them) are Lithuania, Russia, Italy, and Iceland.

I can tell Switzerland knew that Gjon’s Tears was a perfect choice for Eurovision, because on March 20, 2020—just two days after the contest was canceled—Switzerland confirmed they’d send him again for 2021. They were not the first country to confirm they’d send the same artist; Greece, the Netherlands, Spain, and Ukraine all confirmed on March 18.

Denmark: Yes

Artist: Ben and Tan (Benjamin Rosenbohm and Tanne Balcells)

Language: English

Key: G major

Denmark, what the hell are you doing this year? After three entries a fair amount outside Denmark’s comfort zone—which is to say, something other than sappy radio guitar pop where the artists don’t mean a word they’re singing—now we’re back to the ultimate stereotypical Danish entry and I find this absolutely utterly fucking obnoxious. I know it’s supposed to be a song about proposing marriage, but the way it’s presented just comes off as telling you “if you feel the slightest tinge of peer pressure, or a tiny sliver of your brain thinks it might be a good idea to give in, then say YES!” And the repeated “say yes” just comes off as begging people to join a cult.

Well guess what, I refuse to join this cult. Which is, uh… I guess a cult where the only requirement is to love “Yes” by Ben and Tam. You’re required to sing the song each morning in this cult, and if not, they will gaslight you into thinking you’re the bad guy. In this cult, it’s strictly forbidden to listen to, sing, or even think about any other song in existence.

It’s totally petty and irrational but I can’t fucking stand this song. And I hope to god the background screen saying YES in Dansk Melodi Grand Prix wouldn’t have been replicated in Eurovision. I’m not sure whose outfit I hate more: Ben’s weird pajama suit, or Tan’s incomplete white suit with a sparkly dress beneath. Why would someone cover one arm of theirs with a suit jacket and leave the other arm bare? Actually, since I complained more about Tan’s outfit, that means I hate it more.

Albania: Fall from the Sky

Artist: Arilena Ara

Language: English, but the only live performance we have is in Albanian

Key: G minor

Now we have two countries in a row that sent an ultra stereotypical entry of theirs. Albania this year… I wouldn’t say they retreated back to their comfort zone, because even the awesome “Ktheju tokës” was still within this zone. But they did retreat into their comfort zone’s comfort zone. It’s just a generic waily power ballad that makes me feel absolutely nothing, and has some overly long notes near the end because of course it fucking does.

The studio version that we hear in the video is very clearly autotuned, so I can only judge her singing abilities from the Albanian version called “Shaj”. It is also another generic waily power ballad, except in Albanian, and OW MY EARS, WHY IS SHE SINGING SO LOUD IN THE CHORUS? She isn’t even the only singer going Celine Dion mode this year, as we’ll later find out.

Finland: Looking Back

Artist: Aksel Kankaanranta

Language: English

Key: B♭ minor

I think the real reason Finland wanted us to look away so badly last year is because the country was busy changing clothes (yes, all 5.5 million people). Fortunately, Finland has changed into a new outfit and now they’re comfortable with us looking back.

For real, this semifinal is so much boring than the last one. Why did the producers have to put the two best songs (Iceland and Switzerland) side by side? This is just an average slightly moody ballad that’s neither good nor bad. In semifinal 1 this would’ve absolutely not qualified, so I guess I’m lucky Finland is here.

I try not to discuss national final entries too much in these reviews, but I just HAD to listen to “Cicciolina” by Erika Vikman. It’s way better, I can see why fans are salty. It’s a nice harmonic minor dance song and would’ve made a great return for the Finnish language. Not as good a return as “Cha Cha Cha” though.

Armenia: Chains on You

Artist: Athena Manoukian

Language: English

Key: A minor

I tried giving this song an honest chance, believe me. But there’s no getting around it: everything about this song drives me crazy. She’s singing to a man who DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER and insisting that he’s wrong and in reality, he does want to have sex with her and do all sorts of kinky shit, because why should men have any say in how a romantic relationship goes? Obviously all men are brainless bastards who will instantly change their mind if a woman shows enough of her butt, and immediately become thirsty for them. She just comes off as arrogant and thinks she’s the sexiest woman in the world. This is a girl power song gone wrong and all it really does is portray men as thinking “derp yes girl you’re so sexy I will do anything you tell me to”. I can’t stand these types of lyrics that go “I know all men want to fuck me, even though they try to deny it”. They DRIVE. ME. FUCKING. INSANE. I wonder, is this how women feel when a song has misogynist lyrics?

The instrumental of the song is miserably bad, just three minutes of repetitive trap pop that manages to get stuck in my head against my will. And she sounds breathless and doesn’t deliver the song well in the national final performance, though for all I know she could have improved her vocals in time for Eurovision. Not that I would have wanted her to deliver this song well, because it’s goddamn irritating as all hell.

If you love this song, or this kind of music in general, then, well… you do you. That’s all I can really say. I can’t fight others’ tastes. This is another one of the quadruplet entries I talked about last post that make me feel like a cranky old man. It manages to make me angry every single time I listen to it. Then it gets stuck in my head for the next few hours and my mood gets incredibly sour, unless I find another song to use as ear bleach.

One of my favorite ear bleach songs is “Mai no Namida no Amida Nyorai”, a random character song from some anime that’s a totally awesome bossa nova tune. It uses breathy vocals in a good way, unlike two particular songs from this year’s Eurovision. I’ve been obsessed with that song since 2019. I’ve had to use that song as a break between some of the most annoying entries when writing this review, because otherwise I would lose my fucking mind.

Portugal: Medo de sentir

Artist: Elisa Silva

Language: Portuguese

Key: A minor

I love you Portugal, seriously I really do. I was just talking with my mom the other day about the time the whole family went to Portugal together in 2014, and it was one of the happiest memories of both of our lives. But I am really getting tired of all these minimalist Portuguese ballads. They all just have pianos and a ballady drum beat and dreary vocals, and she doesn’t even hit her notes all that well. I’m sure this is probably very heartfelt, but I’m just a bit irked Portugal has found a new comfort zone. This is one of those songs that seems promising from a snippet but in full sounds flat.

Georgia: Take Me as I Am

Artist: Tornike Kipiani

Language: English, plus phrases in Spanish, French, and German

Key: D minor

This is one of few songs that lists countries in a smart way, because its references to other countries tie into the theme of the song. It’s about a man who’s frustrated because his love interest wants him to behave like an Englishman, an Italian, a Spanish guy, a French man, or a German, whereas all he wants is for her to take him as he is. That’s how the phrases in other languages tie into this song, which is really cool and I especially love that they’re from the Big Five countries.

Despite the simple theme of the song, this still manages to have that eccentric Georgian Eurovision sound. I feel like if any other country made this song, it would just be a boring ballad, but that’s not how Georgia does Eurovision. It has aggressive rock shouting mixed with a ballady drum beat and synths and overall sounds quirky as every Georgian entry does. It might take a bit of time to grow on me, as is once again typical for Georgian entries. Unfortunately the abrupt ending really bugs me.

“Englishman” and “Italian” is such an interesting rhyme because both of them stress the last syllable. It’s an avant-garde way to structure lyrics, but it doesn’t come off as ignorant to English syllable stress. It seems to me like a deliberate curveball and I love it.

Bulgaria: Tears Getting Sober

Artist: Victoria Georgieva

Language: English

Key: F♯ major, A♭ major

Remember in my last post when I talked about the twin croony ballads this year that I just don’t get? Well… this is the other one. Let’s get it out of the way, I guess. It would have been the second last in semifinal 2, but I have the other three Big Five entries afterwards.

I just don’t get why people love these croony sadgirl ballads! As with Romania, when I listen to this, I just feel completely outside its target audience. She just sounds breathy and sadgirly because that’s how all the cool kids sing these days. It’s just such a slog to sit through and I wish I didn’t have to listen to it in full for the sake of this blog. It’s not the kind of song I want to listen to ever.

“Your lie-e-e-e-e-es burn like sugar in my wounds so I have sweet bruises”? These are not well-written lyrics. These are the kinds of words a random teenager who doesn’t know how the world works would improvise, then realize ten years later that this passage makes no damn sense. Well OK, I don’t know what it actually feels like to pour sugar on a wound, and I’m not inclined to find out.

Latvia: Still Breathing

Artist: Samanta Tīna, or as I like to call her, the Latvian Celine Dion

Language: English

Key: F minor

This is the last of the quadruplet entries that drive me crazy: Romania is twins with Bulgaria, and Armenia is twins with this one. Both Armenia and Latvia make me feel like Hank Hill in the iconic “toilet sounds” scene from the first episode of King of the Hill.

Want to know something that breaks my heart as an American? It’s that most people outside of America don’t seem to get the absolute genius humor of King of the Hill. Well OK, the show does have a cult following in Japan, but that might be since the country is so extremely different from the United States. What I’m saying is, most readers of my blog are probably European and thus just don’t get the appeal of the show, if they’ve even heard of it at all.

In any case, this song annoys the absolute balls out of me for all the same reasons as “Chains on You”, but it’s slightly less bad. I hate the trap beat and the shouty singing and I especially fucking hate all those dubstep noises. There’s actually one part I really enjoy, which is the buildup to the chorus. I love this type of electronic dance buildup, it feels almost like waiting for a musical orgasm. But instead of that orgasm, we have a bunch of stupid fucking toilet sounds that make me want to tear my ears out. This means the song cycles between medium-bad, good, and a complete assault on the ears. Why did the producers think it was a good idea to end the semifinal with this?!

France: Mon alliée (The Best in Me)

Artist: Tom Leeb

Language: French and way too much English

Key: F major, G major, A minor

No. No no no no no, no, no, no. No. Just. No. Hell fucking no.

What the fuck was France THINKING this year?! Why did France of all countries, the one obsessed with protecting its cultural heritage, pick a song written by Thomas G:son, Peter Boström, and John Lundvik, who compose like ten songs in Melodifestivalen each year and dump their rejects onto other countries? Oh, the lyrics have a few French people involved in it I guess, including Tom Leeb himself and Amir Haddad, but still, WHY WOULD FRANCE FUCKING SEND SWEDISH-WRITTEN POP THIS YEAR?!

I hate everything about this song, even if it weren’t the French entry. It’s just a sappy ballad that really wants to be entirely in English, but it has to have some French lyrics because France is a country whose language matters, unlike Germany whose language clearly doesn’t matter and is not important to representing Germany in Eurovision. Fuck this stupid fucking mindset that some countries’ languages are essential to representing them in Eurovision, and others aren’t.

The French lyrics are only an obligation and are exclusively in the verses. The chorus is all in English, wait no, actually the revamp made the chorus alternate between French and English, except the final chorus which is still all in English, which is obviously the real intended version. I don’t get why France has some entries that poke fun at their obsession with their language (L’amour à la française, Divine), then has entries that unironically do the same shit—singing half the song in English, or adding more French lyrics as a band-aid fix. Same goes for surface-level perception of France as the land of romance and the Eiffel Tower. “L’amour à la française” took the piss out of all those stereotypes in 2007, so why is France doing the same thing unironically now? He sang in English in front of the Eiffel Tower, what a fucking insult! Or at least, he did in the music video for the original version.

United Kingdom: My Last Breath

Artist: James Newman

Language: English

Key: B major

And here we have the UK sending yet another average radio pop song that obviously no one would have voted for. These types of entries can do well if the performance is jury bait, but we saw in 2021 that James Newman wasn’t up to snuff for that. It’s fine enough, perfectly OK to listen to, but goes in one ear and out the other.

It’s worth noting that the BBC live performance of this song is in B♭ major instead, so it’s possible this song’s key would have been changed for Eurovision. We’ll never know.

Spain: Universo

Artist: Blas Cantó

Language: Spanish

Key: D minor

Ugh, Spain is back to their goddamn power ballads again. Most of the Big Five were completely asleep this year, it seems. At least the verses have a bit of a Spanish lyrical rhythm, but the chorus is way too slow and waily and this is overall really boring. I also don’t get why the whoa-oh-ohing continues one last time after the instrumental ends. I can just see these three Big Five entries all landing on the bottom.

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Who would have qualified?

This is way harder than for semifinal 1, since most of the entries are a load of meh. Iceland is head and shoulders above everything else and I’m almost certain it would’ve won the semifinal. There’s a few obvious qualifiers, but so many boring songs that it’s not obvious who wouldn’t have made it. I’ll try anyway.

• Safe qualifiers: Greece, Serbia, Iceland, Switzerland
• Likely qualifiers: Moldova, San Marino
• 50/50: Poland, Denmark, Albania, Finland, Armenia, Georgia, Bulgaria
• Unlikely to qualify: Czechia, Latvia
• Obvious non-qualifiers: Estonia, Austria, Portugal (actually not that obvious)

Honestly these are totally up in the air. I’ll have to choose four songs out of seven to qualify from the 50/50 category. I guess I’ll eliminate Denmark since I don’t imagine it getting many votes outside the other two Nordics, and Albania since there are plenty of other ballads that are probably more appealing. Then I have one more song to eliminate; let’s go with Armenia because I have a hard time imagining the performance would appeal to viewers, based on her national final performance. This leaves me with this shaky, impromptu list:

• Qualified: Greece, Moldova, San Marino, Serbia, Poland, Iceland, Switzerland, Finland, Georgia, Bulgaria
• Didn’t qualify: Estonia, Austria, Czechia, Denmark, Albania, Armenia, Portugal, Latvia

These predictions are way less confident than for semifinal 1. Which kinda sucks, because I love having confident predictions for who will and won’t qualify. And because I don’t care about most songs in the semifinal, so it wouldn’t have mattered too much who would qualify. The only three songs that inspire passion in me are Serbia, Iceland, and Switzerland, and I listed them all as safe qualifiers.

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Who’s my favorite?

Even though this contest has plenty of songs screaming at me for my attention (most of which were in semifinal 1), my heart knows which entry in 2020 is the most addictive, and that is Russia, Uno. The largest country in the world has entered my list at long last!

• Belgium, 2 (1976, 2003)
• Bosnia and Herzegovina, 1 (2006)
• Denmark, 3 (1963, 2000, 2001)
• Estonia, 1 (2009)
• Finland, 3 (1968, 1983, 1989)
• France, 4 (1977, 1990, 1991, 1997)
• Germany, 4 (1956, 1979, 1982, 1999)
• Greece, 1 (2013)
• Hungary, 2 (2005, 2019)
• Iceland, 1 (1992)
• Ireland, 4 (1970, 1980, 1993, 1994)
• Israel, 1 (1987)
• Italy, 1 (1958)
• Latvia, 1 (2002)
• Luxembourg, 4 (1961, 1965, 1972, 1988)
• Montenegro, 1 (2015)
• Netherlands, 8 (1957, 1959, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1975, 1998, 2014)
• Norway, 5 (1960, 1966, 1973, 1985, 1995)
• Portugal, 4 (1971, 1984, 2008, 2017)
• Russia, 1 (2020)
• Serbia, 3 (2004, 2011, 2012)
• Sweden, 3 (1974, 1996, 2018)
• Switzerland, 1 (1986)
• Turkey, 2 (1978, 2010)
• Ukraine, 2 (2007, 2016)
• United Kingdom, 2 (1962, 1981)
• (22 winners)

Honorable mentions to the “five countries’ best entries ever” from the last post: aside from Russia, we have Israel’s multicultural dance bop, the Middle Eastern dance bop from Azerbaijan, the native-language banger from Belarus, and the utterly underrated boppy bop from North Macedonia that slips under everyone’s radar. I’m not 100% sure if “Think About Things” is Iceland’s best entry; it faces stiff competition from 2019 and 2021. It might be, but I’m on the fence.

General thoughts:

I’m a bit hard pressed to give general thoughts on Eurovision 2020. It’s not a song contest at all, but rather a canceled song contest where we’re left with a whole bunch of songs, some that have live performances and some that don’t, and plenty of freedom to theorize about how it would have gone. It would have been a hell of a strong year, on par with the standard of quality from 2018, but we’ll just never know how well or poorly all these songs would’ve come across on stage. The only things we know about the final are that the Netherlands was put into slot number 23 (reused for 2021) and it was going to have another goddamn Eurovision medley interval act. I didn’t follow Eurovision back then, so I can’t give thoughts on how it felt like for it to be canceled. I’m sure my commenters can though.

Since about two-thirds of the 2020 contestants returned for 2021, I think it’s fair to save my thoughts on the overall 2020 lineup for my 2021 review, where I’ll be doing a hell of a lot of compare and contrasting. All I can say is, I had a lot of fun writing my review of 2020 and I hope you had fun reading it!

And to answer the question in the post’s title: yes, I think Iceland would’ve won.

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See you next time as Eurovision comes back and I see if the 2021 non-qualifiers are any good. I can’t believe that bombshell of a year is up next!

>> 2021 (Semifinals): A Heartwarming Show, but a Heartbreaking Bloodbath