Intro Post

< 2010 Semifinals | 2010 Final | 2011 Semifinals >

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Introduction

Eurovision 2010 (Oslo, Norway) is a very happy year for me, because for the second and latest time in Eurovision history, Germany was the winner! I wish I could have seen the contest live as a kid, but I live in America so I would’ve had to discover it on my own. Given Germany’s current Eurovision slump, it’s easy to forget that they won quite recently compared to other western European countries. In second place behind Germany’s fresh upbeat pop song came a hard rock song from Turkey, which Turkish fans still passionately think should have won. And Romania finished third place for the second and latest time with a typical Eurovision pop song.

From this year onwards, the most common number of hosts changed from two to three (the first three-host year was 1999). This year’s lineup of hosts, as well as the next two, featured two women and one man. Nadia Hasanoui is the first Eurovision host of Arab descent (half Moroccan), Haddy Njie is the first host of sub-Saharan African descent (half Gambian), and Erik Solbakken is the only one of entirely European descent. They’ve all been lovely hosts so far, professional with a good sense of humor.

Norway went efficient with their opening act: first a quick film recapping Eurovision history, then fans from every participating country wishing luck, then Alexander Rybak performing “Fairytale” with a new custom intro. This contest has done a good job simplifying the presentation from last year while preserving its whimsy. I watched the grand final once again with Peter Urban’s German commentary, so I can find out how he reacted to Germany winning.

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Azerbaijan: Drip Drop

Artist: Safura Alizadeh

Language: English

Key: E♭ minor

Since the postcards start with showing the shape of each country in the arena, you might be wondering how it handles territorial disputes. The disputed part of the country is either blurred (Israel) or shown offscreen (Azerbaijan, Serbia, Armenia). Note that Cyprus showed the shape of the entire island, even though it has a dispute with the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus.

I usually don’t like when the show opens with a ballad and this song is no exception. Not just because I’m not a fan of ballads, but also because ballads work best when they provide a splash of seriousness after a bunch of upbeat songs (e.g. “Je n’ai que mon âme” from 2001). The good news is, we’re only three years away from non-randomized song order! Anyway, this is a dreary 6/8 ballad that tries its best to be staged ambitiously, as though this were 2009. I suppose it’s well-produced, but it really isn’t my type of song. It’s also rather anonymous, as in it doesn’t tell me anything about the singer’s personality or tastes, nor does it tell any meaningful story. It was designed only to score high in Eurovision, and it achieved that by scoring fifth place.

Spain: Algo pequeñito

Artist: Daniel Diges

Language: Spanish

Key: D minor, E♭ minor, E minor

This song is best known for a stage invasion by Jimmy Jump, a notorious invader of sports events from Catalonia. Daniel Diges and his crew handled the stage invasion in exactly the right way, which is by ignoring him until two security guards escort him off. Do not feed the trolls, as the saying goes. Daniel Diges got to perform his song again without the stage invader after all other songs were over. The second time he performed, he looked joyed and relieved to get another chance.

This was the second time in Eurovision history that a song was performed twice before the voting. The first time was “Nel blu, dipinto di blu” from 1958, because some countries weren’t able to broadcast that song due to technical difficulties. Thanks to the security guards, it’s technically the first Eurovision entry to have more than six people on stage. I’m not sure if it’s the only one; depends if the UK had the full six people on stage during their 2018 stage invasion.

As a song, this feels like a 1970’s Spanish entry, or maybe even an Italian entry. It’s a theatrical waltz with accordions and romantic lyrics, and with two key changes to further the retro feel. It’s well-composed and I like the instrumentation, but it’s not something I want to come back to. I would have preferred some proper musical progression over two key changes.

Norway: My Heart Is Yours

Artist: Didrik Solli-Tangen

Language: English

Key: D major, E major, F♯ major

Spain sent a song with two key changes each by a half step, Norway sent a song with two key changes each by a whole step. This feels like one of those power ballads that the Nordic countries liked to send in the 1980’s (when they weren’t sending schlagers), but in English instead of Norwegian. Dear god, it’s so ballady. Probably great for those who like ballads, but not me.

Moldova: Run Away

Artist: Sunstroke Project and Olia Tira

Language: English

Key: D minor

We’ve finally arrived at the Internet meme! I had known about Epic Sax Guy since 2012 or so, but I had absolutely no idea he was from Eurovision until 2022 (when I read the same document that made me discover “Dancing Lasha Tumbai”, see my 2007 final review). This means it’s one of my two personal “wait, that was Eurovision?” songs; the other is “Snap” from 2022. It probably makes sense that this was a “wait, that was Eurovision?” song for me instead of something like “Volare”, given that I surrounded myself with Internet memes back then.

This song is insanely cheesy and Eurodancey and has some of the jankiest English lyrics I’ve ever seen. “I don’t believe anymore your shallow heart, I know that it’s you who just do play this trick”??? Even for 2000’s and early 2010’s Eurovision, these lyrics are illogical. Why are the lyrics about a nasty romantic breakup when the instrumental is so upbeat? Probably because most people listening to these kinds of songs aren’t fluent in English and couldn’t care less about the lyrics. But I do care about logical lyrics.

Despite the janky lyrics and Eurodance instrumental, I can never hate this song at all. I like to revisit it now and then and consistently have a good time. I think it’s because when a song is an Internet meme, people do so many wacky creative things with it that I gain a fondness for the original song. That’s why I can never stay mad at Caramelldansen either, even though I normally don’t like Eurodance.

Normally when a song becomes a meme, it’s because it has an memorable melody or lyrical hook. Like “EYYYYY SEXY LADY, op, op, op, op, oppa Gangnam style”, or “whatchu know about rolling down in the deep”, or “dansa med oss, klappa era händer” (or Balsamic vinegar to Japanese speakers). In the case of “Run Away”, the meme part is of course the saxophone melody, by far the best part of the song (but spare a thought for the spinning violinist at the start). If a song has one extremely memorable section, it’s easy to appreciate the rest of it, at least for me.

Perhaps surprisingly, I always forget this was the year with Epic Sax Guy. I associate Eurovision 1974 with ABBA (who doesn’t?), 1994 with Riverdance, 2007 with Dancing Lasha Tumbai¸ but not so much 2010 with Epic Sax Guy. Maybe because it has two other iconic songs that I associate much more with Eurovision: “Satellite” and “We Could Be the Same”.

Cyprus: Life Looks Better in Spring

Artist: Jon Lilygreen and the Islanders

Language: English

Key: C major

We have another British singer representing Cyprus, this time because the song was composed by Cypriots and they sought out Jon Lilygreen to sing it. It’s a ballad that starts off sounding kind of sweet, but it quickly gets dull and tiring. And this got free twelve points from Greece anyway. Pretty much all of Cyprus’s 21st century entries so far have been forgettable, but the country will finally change its course in 2018.

Shortly after this song, we saw an audience member holding an American flag which cracked me up. American Eurovision fans would do that, wouldn’t they?

Bosnia and Herzegovina: Thunder and Lightning

Artist: Vukašin Brajić

Language: English

Key: F minor and D minor in alternation

I’ve totally forgotten how this song sounds, despite the title that evokes an iconic Russian entry. My notes about it say:

I like former Yugoslavia better when they send Balkan sounds, not English rock that could be from any country. Not bad, kind of “it’s dramatic I guess”.

I was pretty much spot on in these notes. It’s one of those rock entries that falls flat for me because it’s just not interesting enough. I think I like rock entries better when they’re fast-paced, like Turkey’s masterpiece this year. I can’t believe this qualified from semifinal 1 and Finland didn’t. Because Bosnia was experiencing financial troubles in 2010, we have only three Bosnian entries to review after this: 2011, 2012, and 2016.

Belgium: Me and My Guitar

Artist: Tom Dice (and his guitar)

Language: English

Key: A major

You know, I never realized that Belgium is shaped so similarly to Bosnia and Herzegovina. They’re both shaped loosely like a right triangle where the diagonal side is on the bottom left.

Belgium has finally broken their non-qualification streak since 2004, when semifinals were introduced! Turns out that all they needed to do was match the general theme of this year, which is “simple but effective”.

For real, this is such a sweet song! It’s one of the fan favorites of 2010, but I never heard it in full before watching the semifinal. I love how the staging is exactly what it says on the tin. I also like that the song avoids a pitfall that so many slow-paced entries run into, which is that they start with a pleasant piano or guitar part but then turn into a generic ballad. This song keeps the guitar front and center throughout, and also highlights some lovely basslines. In the second verse, the song subverts the trope of gaining a ballady drum beat and becomes a tinge more upbeat and pop-like.

This contest’s results are odd because the fourth through ninth places cover a narrow range of scores: 136 to 149 points. Belgium scored sixth place with 143 points, so they were two points away from reaching the top five.

Serbia: Ovo je Balkan (Oво je Балкан)

Artist: Milan Stanković

Language: Serbo-Croatian (Serbian)

Key: G minor

As with last year, Serbia decided they had enough of stealing the show and is now showing off the silly side of their music. This has some fun melodies and brass parts and sounds Balkan in a different way from “Lane moje” or “Molitva”, but it’s missing that extra punch to truly wow me.

Belarus: Butterflies

Artist: 3+2 featuring Robert Wells

Language: English

Key: C major, D major

I’m pissed off that this dreary ballad made it into the final when Finland didn’t. I so badly want to relisten to Finland’s song as a palate cleanser, but I need to keep this in my memory so I can write my review. The singers all sound weird and flat like they’re singing random English words, unaware of how little sense the lyrics make. Somehow the lyrics manage to be confusing and unintelligible at the same time. This ballad might be better if they had some proper harmonies, but they’re mostly just singing the same notes in different octaves.

OK, now time to listen to “Työlki ellää” again. God damn, it really is a palate cleanser! I hope to god I won’t be this pissed about a non-qualifier again. I’ll say it again: FINLAND WAS ROBBED! What is it with juries and not recognizing Finnish musical genius?

Ireland: It’s for You

Artist: Niamh Kavanagh, the winner of 1993

Language: English

Key: C major, D major

In my notes, I watched a recap of Ireland’s Eurovision entries and listed which ones I would and wouldn’t consider ballads. Here’s the end result:

Out of their 58 entries, we have 24 yes, 6 maybe, 28 no.

This year, Ireland tried one last time to replicate their previous glory with an Irish ballad, sung by a previous winner to boot. As you can see from my chart, this song’s result of 23rd place finally made Ireland accept a difficult truth: Europe doesn’t like Irish ballads anymore.

I feel so awful for saying this, because I was so positive about Niamh Kavanagh’s last entry: I don’t like this song all that much. I’ve heard it before reviewing this song and I just couldn’t get into it the same way as “In Your Eyes”. The Irish winners, particularly those in the 1990’s, all have a distinctive homegrown Irish feel. This song on the other hand feels like three Swedish songwriters (and one Irish songwriter) tried to imitate the Irish sound but it really just blends together with other ballads this year, especially Norway and Portugal. It’s just like how Swedish songwriters made a loosely Middle Eastern sounding song for Azerbaijan this year, or a loosely Spanish sounding song for Spain last year.

This song has an Irish-sounding flute part after the first chorus which is kind of nice, but otherwise this is just a regular ballad with a mainstream pop production style. The best part about this song is the main thing it has in common with “In Your Eyes”: Niamh Kavanagh’s stellar voice and stage presence.

Greece: Ópa (Ώπα)

Artist: Giorgios Alkaios and Friends

Language: Greek

Key: G♯ non-binary. Hear me out.

What the hell is “G♯ non-binary”, I hear you ask? “Non-binary key” is a term I made up for when a song isn’t exactly in major or in minor, as these types of ethnic songs tend to be. Why should the term “non-binary” only be used to describe gender identity? It can be used for anything that doesn’t fit into two standardized categories. Imagine if a piano had some keys that weren’t white or black, but played notes in between those of the standard 88 keys. I would call those non-binary keys.

Anyway, do you ever hear a song that a friend of yours is obsessed with and think, “yep, this is exactly the kind of song this person loves”? That’s how I feel about Erica being obsessed with “Opa”. I’m excited to see what my Greek commenter Ellie Z. has to say about this song too. It must have made a splash in Greece, I imagine!

I missed the Greek language so much, oh my god! This is the first Greek entry fully in Greek since 1998, if you can believe that. We also had a Cypriot entry in Greek in 2008, but I didn’t care much for it. Imagine if “Dschinghis Khan” and “My Number One” had a baby—that describes “Opa”. It’s full of chanting like its metaphorical father, and has a Cretan lyra solo in the bridge like its metaphorical mother. The whole song is pure Greek Eurovisiony delight, indulgently ethnic and accessible at the same time. As Erica says, you only need one chorus to know when to shout “HEY!” and “OPA!”, and once you know when, it’s impossible not to do it.

The lyrics are about forgetting about your worries and troubles and shouting “OPA!”, relevant to the Greek economic crisis. We’re very close to peak Greece, which will be achieved with another song about the crisis.

United Kingdom: That Sounds Good to Me

Artist: Josh Dubovie

Language: English

Key: G major

I hate this song with a burning passion. It’s bland and undeveloped, the lyrics are cheesy and annoying, the backing singers are painfully off key, and I have no idea how it didn’t score zero points. More importantly, I’m baffled that a country with a music industry as huge and world-renowned as the United fucking Kingdom could send a song this bottom of the barrel. Songs like this come across like the UK thinks they should automatically score well because they’re the greatest country in the world, and that’s why Eurovision fans viewed the UK as a joke for so long.

God dammit, the positive momentum from Greece was totally ruined. The good news is, after this and Georgia we’ll be back to the good stuff.

Georgia: Shine

Artist: Sofia Nizharadze

Language: English

Key: B minor (verses), D minor (pre-chorus), G major (chorus). Weird, but that’s what my notes from the semifinal say.

I’ve completely forgotten how this song sounded, so let me check my notes:

This is so ballady, again. Come on, just because Norway dialed back the staging doesn’t mean everyone had to dial back the songs!

Note that in the semifinal, this was the third ballad in a row which may be why I sounded so bitter. Still though, I was right, this is a dreary ballad full of confusing key changes and distracting staging. Another song where I kept pausing and getting sidetracked. This was rewarded with ninth place (just 13 points below fourth place) but Finland didn’t even fucking qualify.

Turkey: We Could Be the Same

Artist: Manga, a rock band stylized as maNga

Language: English

Key: D minor

The third most recent Turkish entry is a massive fan favorite. If you look in the YouTube comments on “Satellite” by Lena, the winner of this year, you’ll see thousands of comments in Turkish to this day complaining that Manga didn’t win.

The Wikipedia page for this song says that Manga had intensively prepared the perfect song for Eurovision and came out with three candidate entries; the chosen one was “We Could Be the Same”. It really shows how hard they worked on finding the perfect song to win Eurovision… but unfortunately for the Turks (and fortunately for the Germans), Stefan Raab was doing exactly the same.

I’m already familiar with this song—everything about it is fucking awesome. I love that it alternates between rock with Turkish flair in the verses, and full-out power rock in the chorus. I love the bassline in the pre-chorus. I love that the second verse has a bit of extra flair to set it apart from the first verse. I love the melody of the chorus; it’s so much fun to sing along to. I love that the ending starts off the same as the usual instrumental break section, but then changes the chord progression to cap off the song with extra hype. I love the heavy use of synthesizers and string riffs, which elevate it from a normal rock song to an insanely badass rock song.

The lyrics add greatly to the instrumental and the instrumental adds to the lyrics, which are about the singer’s romantic desperation for a woman whose name he doesn’t even know. He hopes that he and the woman could be the same no matter what anyone else says. Without the badass instrumental this would be a normal romantic song, and without the romantic lyrics it would be a regular hard rock song.

The one part that makes this song extra special instead of regular special is that awesome fucking bridge. It’s everything the bridge of a song should be: first it seems like a moment of rest, but then it quickly builds up the intensity till the final chorus. It’s like an additional interjection into the chorus, as if the song is asking another question about what would happen with this romantic relationship, and it accomplishes this without needing any words. And I love, love, love the record scratches in the bridge. They would sound cheesy if this was a 2000’s boyband pop song, but in this rock song the record scratches sound totally badass!

The bridge is also the best part of the performance: that’s when the robot on stage shreds with pyrotechnic effects and again it looks absolutely badass. The robot’s presence on stage tells a story: at the very end, the robot takes off its helmet to reveal a woman inside, who is portrayed as the lead singer’s love interest. This represents him uncovering this mysterious woman for who she is and starting a new life with her. I love when the staging of a song isn’t just there to get the viewer hyped, but tells a proper story.

Do I think Turkey should have won this year, instead of being the runner up? It’s hard to answer this objectively, since my country won and I do love our winner. If I was Turkish, I’d say “duh, of course we should have won”. But trying my best to be objective, this was always going to become an icon even if it didn’t win, in the same vein as its fellow runner-ups “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” and “Cha Cha Cha”. I’d say this is equally iconic as “Satellite”. If this won and Germany came second place, “We Could Be the Same” would be vastly more iconic.

Albania: It’s All About You

Artist: Juliana Pasha

Language: English

Key: F minor

I can’t remember how any of Albania’s previous entries (2004 to 2009) sound, but this one is a real gem! Another one I’ve long been familiar with, it has 2010 written all over it in a good way. It’s an electronic dance song in swing rhythm, but I would not classify it as electro-swing (which as I said in my 2009 review is a genre that annoys me). I consider a song to be electro-swing if it tries to be jazzy using electronic synths, and this isn’t jazzy, just a regular good 2010 dance song in swing rhythm.

All of Albania’s Eurovision entries either are performed in Albanian or have an Albanian version. Usually I think Albania’s entries work better in Albanian, but this one feels like it was always meant to be in English. I’m not just saying this because of familiarity: the Albanian version (which I never heard before writing this post) sounds like an adaptation of a song originally in English. Maybe that’s why Peter Urban remarked this song sounds American.

I don’t like the hectic violin solo, but everything else about this song kicks ass. Juliana Pasha sells this song well and has a killer hairstyle. The instrumentation consists almost entirely of synths, which proves the song knows what it wants to be and doesn’t try to mishmash two genres. Most of the synths have a role that can be matched to an acoustic instrument, like strings, guitar, bass, piano, and drums. The exception is the deep synth that keeps pitch bending up and down; that part has a role unique to electronic instruments.

As with Turkey, my favorite part of this song is probably the bridge, which does exactly what a bridge should do: propose a question in musical form, which is answered by the final chorus. The difference is that this song’s bridge has lyrics and Turkey’s bridge doesn’t. This also has the good trope of adding a new flourish to the second verse, so the song feels less samey.

I’m not sure how this song scored only 16th place. To me, this is by far Albania’s most accessible entry yet. Then again, Albania has ranked higher than this only three times: 2004 (a song I had described as unfocused), 2012, and 2018.

Iceland: Je ne sais quoi

Artist: Hera Björk, who will return in 2024

Language: English, plus two repeated phrases in French

Key: E♭ minor, F minor

My notes from the semifinal describe this as 2010 dance music that would’ve possibly been one of 11-year-old me’s favorites. Once again, past me was spot on, which makes sense because he is just me from a few days ago. As with Albania it has 2010 written all over it and while I don’t find it nearly as good, it still hits that spot of nostalgia with all those synths. It’s got some good harmonies in the chorus too.

This song doesn’t have an Icelandic version, but it does have a French version with the same title as in English. I must say, this song works a lot better in French than I had expected.

Ukraine: Sweet People

Artist: Alyosha (Olena Oleksandrivna Kucher-Topolya)

Language: English

Key: E minor

I think this is supposed to be a tragic anti-war protest song, but it doesn’t really work for me. The lyrics feel like a janky translation of a song originally in Ukrainian, she emphasizes random syllables in annoying ways (especially “the MESSage is so real”), and overall it just comes off as a bad version of “1944” by Jamala, the winner of 2016. I’ve heard Ukraine went through a lot of national final drama this year, but I’ll leave one of my Reddit commenters to explain that.

France: Allez Ola Olé

Artist: Jessy Matador

Language: French, plus a few repeated phrases in English

Key: G♯ minor

In retrospect, I’m surprised it took until 2024 for the Big Five to finally be allowed to perform in the semifinals. This change should have been done far sooner, because it’s weird to watch the Eurovision final and see 20 familiar songs and only four to six unfamiliar ones.

After sending a dramatic chanson last year, France went with a very French radio pop sounding song this time. It’s best known as the French football/soccer anthem for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. It’s got a sort of nice Caribbean beat, but it’s much too repetitive to work at Eurovision. I can see why it’s better known as a sports anthem—that feels like its true purpose.

Romania: Playing with Fire

Artist: Paula Seling and Ovi (Ovidu Cernăuțeanu)

Language: English

Key: E minor

This is Romania’s second time scoring third place, so it’s tied with 2005 as their best result. I’m not sure if this song is good enough to score third place, but I do kind of like it. I still remembered the melody of the chorus after reviewing the semifinal, so that’s a good sign. It has good piano instrumentation and an all around classy upbeat vibe, but Ovi seems to have a lot more experience singing in English than Paula does. Also, I’m annoyed by the fire/desire rhyme in the chorus; did the songwriters have no better ideas?

Russia: Lost and Forgotten

Artist: Peter Nalitch and Friends

Language: English

Key: A minor

I’m not really sure what to say about this song. It has a nice 6/8 ballad instrumental that doesn’t sound much like a traditional ballad, but I’m not convinced by Peter’s style of singing and I can’t tell whether the lyrics are purposely over-the-top. I’ve heard from some people that this is a satirical song or even a joke entry, but I’m not sure how. Maybe due to the spoken word section?

Armenia: Apricot Stone

Artist: Eva Rivas

Language: English

Key: B minor, C minor

This has grown on me since the semifinal. It’s a patriotic song with some ethnic flair about Armenians persevering through their tragic history. I like the mix of accessible pop sound with ethnic instruments, as well as the mix of typical minor key chord progressions with uneasy-sounding diminished chords. It’s nowhere near as good as “Jan Jan” last year, but it’s fun to listen to and very Armenian.

Germany: Satellite (the winner)

Artist: Lena Meyer-Landrut

Language: English

Key: B minor

And here we have it: the second time my country won Eurovision!!! It feels so good to type Germany’s name in red again.

It’s no accident or lucky coincidence that Germany won this year. The German national broadcaster ARD was interested in hosting a 21st century Eurovision, but to do that they’d have to win the contest first. And so, ARD collaborated with the regional broadcaster NDR and private broadcaster ProSieben to organize a show called “Unser Star für Oslo” (Our Star for Oslo). Their secret weapon is a figure we’ve encountered before: the musician and TV host Stefan Raab, who composed the German entries in 1998, 2000, and 2004. Stefan Raab was reluctant to participate at first, but he later agreed to lead the process to select who would sing for Oslo. And boy did it pay off!

Unser Star für Oslo started with 20 prospective singers and whittled them down over the course of six weeks by testing their ability to perform existing famous songs, as well as four potential Eurovision entries. This, people, this is the kind of national final that actually works! This kind of format is genuinely intended to find the best possible Eurovision representative, not “here’s eight or so boring radio pop songs sung by random nobodies, with maybe one exception if you’re lucky” that Germany has been doing in the 2020’s. I understand that sometimes broadcasters don’t have enough money for a multi-night national final, but ARD absolutely does. A good one-night national final is possible if you’re like Finland and pick a diverse pool of songs, but that’s not what Germany is doing.

There are very few people who get what makes a Eurovision song work the way Stefan Raab does. He knows that a song needs to do something special and creative in order to grab the audience’s attention, and it needs to have a performer with a distinctive personality who’s engaged with the song. We saw this with Guildo Horn in 1998, Stefan Raab himself in 2000, and Max Mutzke in 2004. It’s all thanks to Stefan Raab that the pool of singers was narrowed down to Lena, and that the pool of songs was narrowed down to the most exciting of the four: Satellite. This is exactly what the crew behind the recent German national selections is missing: they need people who are truly passionate about Eurovision, not people who pick a bunch of radio pop songs with no personality and call it a day.

Enough complaining about Germany’s Eurovision woes, let’s talk about how our queen Lena brought this song to life! Near the end of each semifinal, we saw previews of the Big Four and host entries. From the snippet of the music video for “Satellite”, I would have never expected Lena to win. But once she got on stage, she totally sold this song! She was only 19 years old and has such a good stage presence, and a distinct personality when she sings. Her singing has an unusual accent and some might find it annoying, but I think it fits this song perfectly. She seamlessly transitions between singing and shouting in this song, in a way that works well musically. This is impressive because normally I don’t like when singers get shouty.

As a song, this can be summed up in two words: fresh and infectious. It’s an upbeat pop song in swing rhythm with a tense, minimal chord progression in the verses, and a more developed chord progression in the chorus. It’s got an extra sassy bridge that poses an additional question musically, very much like Turkey and Albania. Interestingly, the bridge doesn’t lead directly into the final chorus but has a miniature third verse first. The lyrics are about the singer’s desperation for her love interest to notice her, somewhat like Turkey but a lot more playful, with lines like “I even did my hair for you” and “I even painted my toenails for you”. This makes for a really interesting balance between playful teenagery love and obsessive romance.

If I was watching in 2010, I would’ve been excited for Lena and hoped she’d at least reach the top 10, but I wouldn’t have expected her to win. I’m glad she won though, she totally deserved it and yes, I’m biased here. Every Eurovision fan is at least a little biased towards their own country, so the best I can do is embrace my inner patriot. If the top two this year were swapped, I’d still be happy that Germany came second place, and I wouldn’t be salty that Turkey won. Maybe I would be, if it was an especially close match.

This is a fitting second winner for Germany. It’s nowhere near as German-sounding as “Ein bisschen Frieden”, the winner of 1982; the songwriter is American and the composer is Danish. However, simple but effective songs are exactly what Germany does best—see also “Johnny Blue” from 1981, or “You Let Me Walk Alone” from 2018. I personally think Germans are some of the most down-to-earth people in Europe, so the theme and style of this song fits Germany well.

This is also a fitting winner for Eurovision 2010, because the whole contest’s presentation style is simple but effective. It reminds us that a song doesn’t have to be over-the-top flashy to win Eurovision! And more importantly, it reminds us that Germany could kick ass in Eurovision if they just tried.

Portugal: Há dias assim

Artist: Filipa Azevedo

Language: Portuguese

Key: F♯ major, G major, B♭ major, G major. Again, weird but that’s what my notes from the semifinal say.

We’re almost done now: this is the third last song. But the fourth last country performing, since Spain got to perform again. I’m glad Portugal qualified for the third year in a row because they’ve been done dirty so many years, but I’m less glad that they went for a power ballad. I like the rhythm of the Portuguese language and it has pretty good chords, but otherwise it’s the same flavor of ballad as Norway and Ireland.

Israel: Milim (מילים)

Artist: Harel Skaat

Language: Hebrew

Key: G♯ minor, C minor

This starts as a gentle piano ballad, which means I feared it would gain a stereotypical ballad beat in the first chorus. It manages to go most of the way without a ballad beat, which is good because the piano is quite good in this. But at the key change, the song gives in and adds a ballad beat to my annoyance. The key change is a weirdly huge jump too, and Harel struggles to hit the notes afterwards.

Denmark: In a Moment Like This

Artist: Christina Chanée and Thomas N’evergreen

Language: English

Key: F♯ major, A♭ major

And so, before Spain performs a second time, we get another round of Danish radio pop with that typical Swedish songwriter production style. I can put this in the background without wanting to turn it off, but trying to actively focus on it just bores me. That’s how radio pop tends to be. Did this get fourth place just because it came at the end?

I’m surprised this only got eight points from Sweden, because Peter Urban said this was the next best thing to a Swedish entry in the final. Maybe Swedish voters just didn’t think this was a worthy substitute.

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Who’s my favorite?

As I was reviewing this year, I was torn between choosing Finland and Turkey at first. To decide which to pick, I tried putting myself in the shoes of a Finnish fan or a Turkish fan. If I was Finnish I would probably consider Finland my favorite, but I’d have to admit Turkey was a damn good effort. But if I was Turkish, Turkey would be my far my favorite and I’d be pissed off that Germany beat us. That’s why I will betray my inner patriot and choose the runner-up, Turkey, We Could Be the Same.

• Belgium, 2 (1976, 2003)
• Bosnia and Herzegovina, 1 (2006)
• Denmark, 3 (1963, 2000, 2001)
• Estonia, 1 (2009)
• Finland, 3 (1968, 1983, 1989)
• France, 3 (1977, 1990, 1991)
• Germany, 4 (1956, 1979, 1982, 1999)
• Hungary, 1 (2005)
• Iceland, 1 (1992)
• Ireland, 4 (1970, 1980, 1993, 1994)
• Israel, 1 (1987)
• Italy, 1 (1958)
• Latvia, 1 (2002)
• Luxembourg, 4 (1961, 1965, 1972, 1988)
• Netherlands, 7 (1957, 1959, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1975, 1998)
• Norway, 5 (1960, 1966, 1973, 1985, 1995)
• Portugal, 3 (1971, 1984, 2008)
• Serbia, 1 (2004)
• Sweden, 2 (1974, 1996)
• Switzerland, 1 (1986)
• Turkey, 3 (1978, 1997, 2010)
• Ukraine, 1 (2007)
• United Kingdom, 2 (1962, 1981)
• (20 winners)

Honorable mentions to the dance bop from Albania, the Eurovisiony joy from Greece, and of course unsere Königin Lena aus Deutschland. Trying my best to be unbiased, Germany would probably be my third favorite this year.

General thoughts:

Eurovision 2009 may have seemed like a tough act to follow with its glamorous presentation and staging, but Norway’s hosting showed us that if done right, a simpler presentation will work like a charm. In some ways, this was even an upgrade from 2009: the hosts were affable and professional, and their interlude segments felt like a natural part of the show.

The lineup of songs was hit and miss this year. Even the grand final had a few duds and baffling songs, which makes me salty that Finland didn’t qualify. But there were enough gems that I can happily call Eurovision 2010 a good year. Germany and Turkey gave us a stellar top two that make for a nice contrasting pair. Both are about romantic desperation, but Germany’s song is playful while Turkey’s is dramatic, and they’re both total bangers. Germany shows the power of keeping a performance simple, whereas Turkey gave the most dramatic performance possible on this year’s downsized stage.

Amidst the voting time window, we had a short film with various contestants talking to the hosts in their national languages. It must have had custom subtitles for each broadcaster, since I saw it with German subtitles. It was fun trying to recognize as many languages as I could. The interval act was a song by the Norwegian rap duo Madcon called “Glow”, set to footage of flash mobs in the arena and all around Europe sharing the moment as this year’s slogan says. It was sweet and fun to watch.

It was an absolute joy to watch the voting this year—I’m sure you can guess why. Naturally I’m delighted that Germany won this year, but I’m also really flattered that voters loved our entry this much. Obviously this is a song I had nothing to do with, but just as British fans scream “Europe hates us!” when they score last place, I feel a hearty dose of “Europe loves us!” Germany won the televote by 66 points over Turkey, the jury by two points over Belgium, and overall by 76 points over Turkey.

I have no idea how Peter Urban remained this calm when Germany won. He was happy going by his words, but I feel like any other German commentator would’ve flipped their shit in excitement, like Lena did throughout the voting. Stefan Raab was beside her in the green room, with an expression that says “I knew we could do it”. Lena was absolutely floored to win the contest and after her winner’s reprise gave a speech in German about how unreal it feels, which is cut short at the end of the broadcast. For me, this is the happiest ending of any Eurovision year.

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See you next time as Italy finally returns to Eurovision, though we won’t hear their song until the final.

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