Intro Post

< 2000 Review | 2001 Review | 2002 Review >

I won’t start writing my 2002 review until after MAGFest 2024 (January 18-21, I’m leaving on the 17th). This will be my fifth time at MAGFest and after the event, you’ll see content related to it on my YouTube channel!

---

Introduction

Denmark won Eurovision two oh oh oh,
so now was their second turn to host the show.
Copenhagen was chosen to stage this event,
an agreeable choice without too much dissent.
They chose a stadium capable of housing
a staggering audience of thirty-eight thousand.
Some say they wanted to outdo Sweden,
and indeed, this record still hasn’t been beaten.
That no one’s surpassed it is much for the best,
since the stage looked like merely a blip to most guests.

Austrians, Belgians, Romanians, the Swiss,
Cypriots, Finns, and North Mac had to miss.
Lithuania returned this year, as did Slovenes,
plus Bosnians, Greeks, Poles, and the Portuguese.
Of the new guys that poured in here since ninety-three,
Estonia became the first winner. Yippee!
It was twelve years ago, far too long in fans’ eyes,
when a country last received its first ever prize.
From this contest up until two thousand eight,
the winner would be someone new. Ain’t that great?

Every achievement last year by the Swedes,
the Danes were determined to beat and exceed.
The Swedish hosts may have seemed cheesy last time,
but they’re nothing compared to these hosts’ endless rhymes.
They hosted the song contest in rhyming pairs,
but I think my rhymes are more clever than theirs.
Since I wanted a breather from the BBC,
I watched this contest’s broadcast from RTÉ.
Marty Whelan still comments for Ireland today.
He’s much more respectful than Wogan, I’d say.
Now what are we waiting for? Let’s have some fun
and review Eurovision two thousand and one!

(Phew… this poem was so tough to write. Also, if you’re reading it out loud, stress the third syllable of Copenhagen.)

---

Netherlands: Out on My Own

Artist: Michelle Courtens

Language: English

Key: E major

It really takes me back to hear an English-speaking commentator who isn’t Terry Wogan. My first thought when watching these postcards is that if English wasn’t my first language, then Irish English would be tough to understand. Irish commentators used to speak with Received Pronunciation (RP) like the Brits, but both have long quit doing that and embraced their accents.

I’m annoyed this song was chosen as the opener of the contest, not because it’s bad—quite the opposite. It’s a decent guitar and strings ballad with hints of minor key and some very good vocal harmonies. It would have fit perfectly after a sequence of upbeat songs to fill the audience with some emotion, but the running order screwed this song over. It scored 18th place with 16 points, and thus the Netherlands was relegated from 2002. As I’ve said many times before, this is why I don’t like randomized song order.

One thing that bugs me about this song is that for the first two thirds, the singer is sitting on the floor. I don’t know why it annoys me when Eurovision singers start their songs sitting on the floor (or worse yet, lying down), but it just does.

Iceland: Angel

Artist: Two Tricky (Kristján Gíslason and Gunnar Ólason)

Language: English

Key: A major, B major

Another thing that’s starting to get on my nerves is when the playback instruments on stage look implausible. This song often has three guitars playing at once (one of which is a bass guitar), but we only see one guitarist on stage, and yet we’re expected to buy into the illusion. Musically, this is yet another radio pop song that I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to but probably wouldn’t shut off.

Bosnia and Herzegovina: Hano

Artist: Nino Pršeš

Language: Serbo-Croatian (Bosnian) and English. The only song in a Slavic language this year.

Key: D major

Why does the climb towards Balkan ballads have to be so gradual? This is almost a perfect mystical Balkan ballad, but it still has a tiny bit too many radio pop and hip-hop elements. It does get more Balkan-sounding towards the end. But I just want to know when I’m going to be slammed in the face with a full-out proper Balkan ballad. I do think it’s a good song, but I’m afraid it doesn’t cross the threshold for something I’ll come back to.

Norway: On My Own

Artist: Haldor Lægreid

Language: English

Key: A major, C major

This song and Iceland tied for last place with only three points. I’m annoyed that it’s so close to “Out on My Own”, but that’s random order for you.

The previous song and this one are a perfect example of the difference between regular ballads and Balkan ballads. Most Eurovision ballads are interchangeable and basically sound the same, but each Balkan ballad has its own distinct personality and executes the formula in a different way. This is just yet another power ballad, and the televote score proves Europe doesn’t like those anymore. He tried to be like Niamh Kavanagh when he shouted towards the end, but he failed to live up to her.

Israel: Ein Davar (אין דבר)

Artist: Tal Sondak

Language: Hebrew

Key: D minor

This song blends the composition style of Israeli dance music (the kind we heard so much in the 80’s) with 2000’s pop. It’s an interesting combination and makes a nice party song, but again it doesn’t quite cross the threshold. Other Israeli dance entries hype me up much more.

Russia: Lady Alpine Blue

Artist: Mumiy Troll

Language: English

Key: A minor

Though it’s not quite as competitive as “Solo” last year, this is a nice mellow rock song that showcases a different aspect of Russian music. Mumiy Troll is a long-lived band dating back to 1983, so I can see this song sending some fans down a rabbit hole of Russian rock.

The singer’s English is heavily accented and hard to understand. In particular, when he sings “no promises” it sounds like “now promises”. His strange pronunciation made me wonder if this song had a Russian version, and sure enough it does! It’s called “Obeshchaniya” (Обещания), which means “a promise”. I think this song would have stood out to the audience more if it was sung in Russian. It would have made Bosnia less alone in its usage of Slavic languages.

Sweden: Listen to Your Heartbeat

Artist: Friends

Language: English

Key: E major, F♯ major. Same as “Take Me to Your Heaven”.

The problem with the hosts’ rhymes (which we hear more of before this song starts) is that they clearly weren’t written by a native English speaker. In particular, they don’t distinguish between voiced and voiceless consonants at the end of words, leading to pairs like strife/live and TVs/Greece. I know my poem at the start had some inexact rhymes too, but I made sure the words still flowed well.

I already talked about the plagiarism controversy when I reviewed “Liefde is een kaartspel” from five years earlier. I still don’t understand why anyone would think someone plagiarized an entry that scored near the bottom in 1996. I genuinely believe the composers of that song were just greedy for extra money.

On the other hand, I do think this song is a total ripoff of “The Winner Takes It All” by ABBA. But ABBA had no reason to accuse this song of plagiarism because they’re already one of the most famous bands in the entire world. I don’t think ABBA should have sued them anyway—just let people make shameless ripoffs in peace. True plagiarism is when people copy a song note for note, not when they compose a melody that sounds vaguely similar.

The one good thing I can say about this song is that it has a clear Swedish musical identity. You listen to it and you can’t mistake it for any other country. Some swedo-pop entries in Eurovision I do like, but this is way too formulaic for me. It’s a repeat of “Take Me To Your Heaven” except not in swing rhythm. I’m lowkey happy the running order made it only reach fifth place, because we have some much more interesting potential winners up ahead.

Also, it’s funny I talked about incorrect rhymes because this song chose to rhyme “higher” with “stronger”, even though it’s not even close to being a rhyme. The Swedish version has “känner” and “bestämmer” in this part, which is a slant rhyme done right. Did the English version’s songwriters have no better ideas? How about “longer” instead of “higher”, or “down to the wire” instead of “stronger”? There are so many cool ways you can rhyme in the English language, as we saw particularly in the early UK entries.

Lithuania: You Got Style

Artist: SKAMP

Language: English, plus a rap verse in Lithuanian and small pinches of French and German

Key: E♭ major

Easily the most unusual entry so far, this is a funky disco soul pop song in a hearty mixture of languages. It comes closer to clicking with me than anything before, but it misses the mark for a few reasons. It doesn’t have enough variety in its chord progression and repeats the title too much, especially near the end. The chord progression consists entirely of A sections with no B sections in sight. I wish the Lithuanian language in this song wasn’t relegated to rap, but their beautiful native-language song 21 years later will make up for it.

Latvia: Too Much

Artist: Arnis Mednis

Language: English

Key: A major

The good parts of this song are the accordion solos before each verse, because Eurovision has made me realize I love accordions. The annoying parts of this song are everything else. When is Eurovision going to cool down on this weird-ass Eurodance with janky English lyrics?

Croatia: Strings of My Heart

Artist: Vanna (Ivana Ranilović-Vrdoljak)

Language: English

Key: F major, F♯ major

Reread my review of Latvia’s song, but replace “accordion” with “violin”. Even if I was a Eurodance fan, I would find this song’s instrumental underdeveloped. It doesn’t even fully commit to being Eurodance and instead sounds half-orchestral. Why did Croatia have to run out of steam this year?

Portugal: Só sei ser feliz assim

Artist: MTM (Marco Quelhas and Tony Jackson)

Language: Portuguese

Key: C major, D♭ major

“It takes five semifinals, we’re told, to reach the finals and be selected to represent Portugal in the Eurovision Song Contest. You’d think they would have won once with all that effort, wouldn’t you? Just once would have been nice.” Marty Whelan has a good point—a selective national final should in theory mean a high chance at winning. But the juries never quit being biased against Portugal, and now they aren’t trying to garner televote favor. This is just an average swing pop song with that stereotypical 90’s drum beat and we no longer have an orchestra to elevate it. Not unpleasant, but not something I’ll keep.

Ireland: Without Your Love

Artist: Gary O’Shaughnessy

Language: English

Key: B♭ major

I thought for sure that Ireland would stop sending ballads after the language rule and orchestra were abolished. This doesn’t even sound like a 1990’s runner up, but like a 1990’s sixth or seventh place. But since we’re in the 2000’s, this song scored 21st place with only six points and caused Ireland to be relegated next year. Come on Ireland, stop being stuck in the past. Europe doesn’t like your ballads anymore.

Spain: Dile que la quiero

Artist: David Civera

Language: Spanish

Key: E minor

Before this song comes the hosts rhyming some more. When I saw fans complain about this year’s rhyming gimmick, I thought “surely it can’t be that bad”, but it turns out it’s even worse. Not because speaking in rhymes is inherently bad, but because their rhymes are either terribly predictable (e.g. weather, together) or outright wrong (e.g. complete, indeed). Also, the gimmick of shattering a dummy trophy wasn’t believable because nobody says a dry, monotone “shit” when breaking an expensive object. They would scream “SHIT, FUCK, SHIT SHIT FUCK!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO, SHIT THIS IS BAD!!!!!” The monotone swear word reminds me of Knuckles’ infamous “oh no” from Sonic Adventure.

OK, I should talk about this song. Unlike all those cheesy Eurodance and radio pop songs, this is more of what Eurovision should be: countries showing off their own musical cultures. It sounds a bit too much like a brassy early 2000’s party song and I’m not big on his falsetto, but it’s utterly Spanish and the guitar is splendid. I just wish the guitar was more prominent in the song and visible on stage. I feel like we’re slowly approaching the ethno-bops that would score high this decade, but I wouldn’t call this a bop just yet.

France: Je n’ai que mon âme

Artist: Natasha St-Pier, a Canadian who’s been compared to Celine Dion

Language: French and (loud gasp) English

Key: C major (verses), E♭ major (chorus), E major (final chorus)

This song achieved fourth place and was France’s best result in the 21st century, until “Voilà” surpassed it in 2001. Some French viewers were pissed off that their country decided to sing partly in English, to which I respond: Try to imagine how German Eurovision fans feel every year since 2008! I’m sorry French people, as much as I love your language (I really, truly do), it is NOT inherently better than any other language in Europe, let alone the whole world.

I don’t mind the switch to English in this song because we got plenty of time to enjoy the French language first. And because Natasha sings very well in both languages. She’s from New Brunswick, the only Canadian province where both English and French are official.* I think I tolerate switches into English the most when they’re only in the song’s final section.

The running order was a strong advantage to this song—not just its high placement, but my own perception of it. I heard this song in isolation a few weeks ago and didn’t think too much of it (power ballad and all), but coming after all those goofy-ass party songs, it’s a refreshing lapse of seriousness that punches me right in the gut. The Netherlands could have had this same effect, if it had been placed here. This just further drills in my point about the problem with randomized song order.

For me, this song works best coming after a bunch of upbeat silly songs, not nearly as much in isolation. I do think it’s a good song, but it’s not the kind I can casually listen to and be blown away every time.

* I like to think of New Brunswick as the Belgium of Canada, or alternately, the Canada of Canada.

Turkey: Sevgiliye Son

Artist: Sedat Yüce

Language: Turkish and English

Key: C major, C minor, D♭ major

Like France, this is a power ballad that switches to English about two thirds of the way through. But unlike France, the English section sounds awkward and is a real mood killer. This would have sounded so much better with an orchestra, like Turkey’s 1998 entry which used it in full force.

United Kingdom: No Dream Impossible

Artist: Lindsay Dracass

Language: English

Key: F major

Why exactly did the UK keep sending all this Eurodance post-language rule when they sent so many other styles in the 1990’s? My guess is that they became obsessed with the idea of replicating “Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit” because it’s generally accepted that song would have scored much better with the televote. Unfortunately, this song yet again fails to be as sticky as Ooh Aah and just goes in one ear and out the other.

Slovenia: Energy

Artist: Nuša Derenda

Language: English

Key: F minor, F♯ minor

This song scored seventh place, tied with 1995 as Slovenia’s best ranking. Well deserved, I’d say! Regular Eurodance tends to be blah, but Eurodance in harmonic minor key? Now we’re talking. I actually do like this song, perhaps more than any other song so far this year.

Much like “Ooh Aah… Just a Little Bit”, this song proves that not all Eurodance songs are bland and cheesy. This one is totally epic! It’s got a dramatic haunting chord progression and some killer synth guitar riffs in the chorus, plus a bunch of soaring melodies on the strings. It’s even got a classical-sounding piano interlude before the key change. It turns out Eurodance and harmonic minor key is a really good combination. Compared to other songs originally performed in the singer’s native language, this one works very well in English.

I’m not sure it’s fair to say this song has Slavic musical identity—maybe it does, but I’m not familiar enough with Slavic countries’ music to say—but it most certainly sounds like the kind of song a Slavic country would send to Eurovision.

Poland: 2 Long

Artist: Piasek (Andrzej Piaseczny)

Language: English

Key: E major, F major

Another song that sounds way too similar to “Walking on Sunshine”, come on. Piasek brings a lot of energy to the stage, but the song itself doesn’t have nearly as much energy. I don’t get why Poland stuck to all this radio pop after their scrumptious musical diversity in the 1990’s. Even “Sama” from 1995, which I found annoyingly grating, has some diehard fans.

Germany: Wer Liebe lebt

Artist: Michelle (Tanja Gisela Hewer)

Language: German and English

Key: A♭ major

We’re already at the second last song from Germany in German, as of this writing, which doesn’t feel right to me at all. The German language drought is fast approaching and it’s going to break my heart.

This song makes me remember I did not miss all those German ballads of the 1980’s and 1990’s at all. But apparently we’re back to those this year. It’s decent as a composition and at least the lyrics are about romance instead of peace, but it’s not the kind of song I’ll come back to. Also, it’s weird that so many ballads this year followed the formula of starting in their native language, then switching to English over halfway through. I get why it’s done, basically to provide a translation for English speakers at the end. But it’s starting to annoy me that so many songs had this same idea.

Estonia: Everybody (the winner)

Artist: Tanel Padar, Dave Benton, and 2XL. This clunky list is stuck as the credit for this winner forever.

Language: English

Key: G major, A♭ ma—A major

I’m obligated to mention that Dave Benton narrowly surpassed Jørgen Olsen as the oldest winner in Eurovision history. Also, now that I heard this song in full for the first time, I can officially say it: I’ve now heard every Eurovision winner in full.

I already knew that this is one of the least popular winners in Eurovision history. Some fans absolutely love this song, while others think it’s a completely baffling choice. I can see both sides of this argument myself. For one thing, if I was watching this contest in 2001, the thought of this song winning would have never crossed my mind. It’s certainly one of the better songs so far, but by this point I would have thought France was most likely to win, especially since they had a good spot in the running order.

On the other hand, Estonia had an even better spot near the end. This is a very upbeat party song whose singers are full of genuine enthusiasm, without needing any meticulous choreography. The lyrics basically tell everyone to forget all their worries and sing and party all night long. I can see it filling the audience with good cheer and perhaps sticking in their memory a bit more than France. Keep in mind that we still haven’t reached the rest of the top three this year, so songs with even more winner energy might await us.

One thing everyone can agree on is that Estonia’s victory started a new era of Eurovision. Just as Israel’s first victory in 1978 proved Eurovision wasn’t only about European music, this song proves that all those eastern European countries have stepped up their game. The writing was on the wall since Poland’s second place in 1994, but Estonia winning cements it. Throughout the 2000’s, eastern Europe would regularly score highly or even win, both with English songs and native-language songs. Western Europe was slow to catch up and would often blame those results on bloc voting, a mindset that I really hate.

This song also began an eight-year streak of countries winning for the first time, which in turn kicked off an era of Eurovision touring parts of Europe it’s never been to before. Most of these first-time winners were sung in English, but Serbia was an exception.

Malta: Another Summer Night

Artist: Fabrizio Faniello

Language: English

Key: C major, D major

The running order had an enormous effect on this year’s results. This is just a bunch of boring Eurodance (which I guess has a nice guitar), but it got ninth place! It would have gotten almost no points if it was performed near the start. I’m looking forward to seeing what measures Eurovision took to mitigate the advantage of performing late.

Greece: Die for You

Artist: Antique (Helena Paparizou and Nikos Panagiotidis)

Language: Greek (verses), English (chorus)

Key: B minor, C minor

This song gave Greece their best result before winning in 2005, and their first of three third places. I can see why: I’m not a Eurodance fan and even I quite like it. Though I might just be more receptive to minor key Eurodance. The studio version is a total banger, so it’s too bad the live performance looks and sounds so flat. Additionally, I really don’t like the performers’ choice of language mixing. If the stickiest part of the song by far is sung in English, then the Greek part may as well not be here at all.

In contrast to the other bilingual songs this year, I honestly would’ve preferred this song being all in English. Only the first verse and the short second verse are in Greek, so the inclusion of the native language feels pointless. This song does have a Greek version, but it still includes the English phrase “cause I would die for you”. So if they really wanted to include the Greek language, I would’ve done it in the final chorus.

There are a lot of things to like about this song’s composition, but a few aspects could be better. I love the “I Will Survive” chord progression in the chorus, and the rousing melody in the strings really elevates it. But I really wish the bouzouki was more prominent—if they were trying to sound Greek, they didn’t sound Greek enough!

If the singers gave a more energetic performance and made a better choice of language, then maybe this song could have won. It had the huge advantage of performing second last, but given Estonia’s flawless performance I can see why they won instead. Luckily, Helena Paparizou would get a second chance four years later and win the contest.

Denmark: Never Ever Let You Go

Artist: Rollo and King

Language: English

Key: B♭ major

Now this song, on the other hand? Although I still would have expected France to win the contest, I would have secretly wanted Denmark to win again. But part of me would have been relieved they got second place, because this means Denmark wouldn’t host two years in a row. It’s hard to trust a broadcaster who thought that poorly rhyming hosts was a good idea.

Seriously, WHY THE FUCK DOES COUNTRY MUSIC IN EUROVISION MAKE ME SMILE SO MUCH?! I’ve never heard this song before and I’m glad this review was my first time hearing it. Everything about this song makes me involuntarily smile. The harmonica, the guitars, the singers’ beautiful harmonies, the clapping in the final chorus, everything about this song is better than it has any right to be. Erica, if you’re reading this, I know what you’re thinking. “Does this guy have the same brain as me?!” Well, maybe we just do.

I then listened to the song’s original Danish version and holy shit, it’s even better. It’s called “Der står et billede af dig på mit bord” (there’s a picture of you on my table), which might seem like a mouthful, but a lot of Danish words have one less syllable than they look like they should. As I expected, the Danish lyrics are quite a bit more colorful. While the English lyrics are about a man who misses his old love interest every day, the Danish lyrics describe his desperation to contact his love interest and even include computer terms.

Even the English version is far superior to everything else this year. Those harmonies, those FUCKING harmonies, they’re just so beautiful! I think that’s what I like the most about country music entries—the genre is begging for singers to harmonize all over them. They even sing some harmonies unaccompanied at the end for a tiny bit and that sounds even better.

---

Who’s my favorite?

This is a very similar situation to 1977: I debated with myself whether to choose between a few contenders like Estonia, Slovenia, and Greece, but then Denmark, Never Ever Let You Go stole my heart. I’m relieved I didn’t have to choose a Eurodance song as my winner!

• Belgium, 1 (1976)
• Denmark, 3 (1963, 2000, 2001)
• Finland, 3 (1968, 1983, 1989)
• France, 3 (1977, 1990, 1991)
• Germany, 4 (1956, 1979, 1982, 1999)
• Iceland, 1 (1992)
• Ireland, 4 (1970, 1980, 1993, 1994)
• Israel, 1 (1987)
• Italy, 1 (1958)
• Luxembourg, 4 (1961, 1965, 1972, 1988)
• Netherlands, 7 (1957, 1959, 1964, 1967, 1969, 1975, 1998)
• Norway, 4 (1960, 1966, 1973, 1995)
• Portugal, 2 (1971, 1984)
• Sweden, 3 (1974, 1985, 1996)
• Switzerland, 1 (1986)
• Turkey, 2 (1978, 1997)
• United Kingdom, 2 (1962, 1981)
• (18 winners)

God damn, it’s so satisfying when a contest filled with drivel concludes with a song I love. Denmark is the third country I chose as my winner two years in a row, after France and Ireland.

General thoughts:

I’ve already talked about the obnoxious hosts, annoying Eurodance tunes, and janky English lyrics, so what redeeming qualities does this year have? Well, that lovely country song at the end of course. I’m happy that one of the actually tolerable songs won, but I think the most logical winner would have been France. I would have been so surprised to see that three songs beat them! I like that Marty Whelan kept good cheer when commentating for Ireland this year, even amidst all the ridiculousness and his country’s low results. He pointed out that Ireland has won a lot already, so Irish viewers naturally expect their entries to do well.

Oh god, even the interval act is Eurodance this year. Except with more pyrotechnics, which would eventually become common in the entries themselves. They brought the band Aqua, who are best known for “Barbie Girl”, to perform a medley of their songs. I think all Eurovision interval acts should strive to be like Riverdance.

The hosts made a rhyme to lead into the Netherlands’ voting (together fans, Netherlands), but they didn’t bother to make rhymes for other countries. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed about this. The voting showed one of many problems with hosting the contest in an arena this huge: all the audience noise made many of the results hard to hear. The hosts dropped the rhyming gimmick from the voting onwards, which proves that without it they were just mildly stilted and awkward. As I said in my last post, Petra can’t come soon enough.

I wish I could have watched this contest blind, because I would have been incredibly surprised that Estonia won. Since the only Eurovision I watched live was 2023, where the winner was extremely obvious, I don’t know what it’s like to be surprised by the winner. But anything could happen in 2024!

---

See you next time as a country that almost didn’t get to participate wins Eurovision.

>> 2002: Baltic Host, Baltic Winner