Intro Post

< 2025 Semifinals | 2025 Final

Almost two weeks after the grand final, and my review of Eurovision 2025 is finished! Warning: it’s long as hell.

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Introduction

My new favorite year, you say? Yes, indeed so. The song lineup of Eurovision 2025 is nothing short of spectacular: out of 37 songs, there are ten that I’ve given a 9/10 or higher, 17 that I’ve scored an eight or higher, and 23 that are at least a seven. Only eight songs this year are below a five (songs I neither like nor dislike). As is usual in Eurovision, most but not all of the right songs qualified, and thankfully the Big Five and host all sent honest efforts, which makes this an exceptionally good grand final. The one problem: the results of the grand final absloutely fucking sucked.

I usually list the top three in the intro of my Eurovision final posts, but this time it’ll make me feel better to list the top five. The fifth place was predictable enough: Italy with yet another male ballad, but it was more likable than their usual ballads for reasons I’ll discuss later. Now in fourth place came the song I wanted to win: “Bara bada bastu” by KAJ, the first Swedish Eurovision entry to actually be sung in Swedish since 1998. Fourth place would normally be a good result, but it’s a cruel joke when you look at the actual top three.

The third place is incomprehensible to me: a joke entry from Estonia with as little musical merit as “Irelande Douze Pointe” or “Flying the Flag (for You)”. Israel sent a sequel to last year’s “Hurricane” and ran another massive ad campaign, which got them a terrifyingly close second place and even a televote win. I will rant about them exploiting Eurovision soon enough. And as for the winner, the juries think that opera vocals automatically make a song good, so they boosted “Wasted Love” of all fucking songs to the top and gave Austria their third victory. That song winning was a nightmare scenario for me already, but the other top three made for a worse nightmare than I could possibly conceive of.

Now the good news is, aside from the top three, almost every entry in the grand final has something to like about it. In fact, there are so goddamn many songs worth swooning over, I’m not prepared and neither are you. And plus, I am absolutely over the moon about my country’s entry: Germany finally sent a song in German for the first time since 2007, and a great one at that! That might end up being the longest review in the post, but we’ll see soon enough.

And now to discuss the opening of the show, which I watched live in the St. Jakob-Park football stadium for a public viewing, seated next to my mom and her friend. My mother only joined me for Eurovision on the day of the final, just so you know. The show begins with a hilarious video skit where the three presenters realize the trophy hasn’t arrived yet and debate over what to do. As the most comedic of the hosts, Hazel offers to make a trophy from her water bottle and aluminum foil, then drops it and says “at least it doesn’t break”. I love this little jab at Nemo breaking the Eurovision trophy last year so much. Then the trophy goes on an epic journey to the Eurovision stage, soon to be delivered by Nemo themself in the hopes it doesn’t get broken. The entire opening film is humorous, yet it amazes me with the production at the same time.

The opening act is your usual abridged rehash of “The Code” (sure, why not). Then comes the flag parade, set to a medley of dancey Swiss hits and some kickass percussionists. Everyone in the parade is carrying just one or two big flags, but they’re all having fun doing it and many of their personalities shine through. The goofy brothers from Iceland, proud and confident Erika from Finland, the classy guitarists from Italy, modest Zoë from Switzerland, it goes on. And finally enter not two, but three hosts: Hazel Brugger and Sandra Studer from the semifinals, now joined by Michelle Hunziker. No Swiss-hosted contest is complete without a quick introduction in all of Switzerland’s languages, so the hosts do that and then present us the second audience in the football stadium.

For this blog post, I watched the grand final with German commentary done by Thorsten Schorn. My German grandma said she found the commentary on the grand final hilarious, so let’s hope she’s right!

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Norway: Lighter

Artist: Kyle Alessandro

Language: English

Key: D minor (number 5). Continuing the count from the semifinals.

My ranking: 13th

Fun fact: this is the first Eurovision where all five Nordic countries qualified to the grand final since 2014. And they all deserved it! I have this ranked the lowest of the Nordic entries this year, but I still like it a lot. It’s just so easy to like this, because I’m always a sucker for a good boybop. It reminds me of such male bops as “Lipstick” from 2011 or “She Got Me” from 2019, and I’d say it’s just as fun to sing along to as both. It’s got everything I want out of a boybop: some sections with percussion, some without, a ridiculously catchy chorus, and a nice dance break plus bridge. And at the end, it has a nice section where all the musical elements of the song come together.

This song is as girlboppy as a Eurovision entry can get without being sung by a girl, so it’s no wonder the producers put it first. Thorsten Schorn describes Kyle Alessandro as a one-person boyband, and you know what, he’s right. He gives an awesome performance at just 19 years old, and the song has a nice little message to go with it. It was inspired by the time his mother got diagnosed with cancer, and he decided if his mom won’t be able to look out for him, he’ll look out for himself and be his own lighter. Luckily his mom survived cancer, but we have one song later about a mother who wasn’t so lucky.

I actually had this ranked 20th place at first. But then I decided to move it up to 13th and had to edit a few rankings in my semifinals post. If I don’t embrace now that I love this song, I’ll regret it later. Yes, this is very much derivative of other boy and girl bops, and yes, it sounds like it came straight out of the girlbop factory. But it’s a factory that makes quality products, not the rival factory that makes meh girlbops like “El Diablo” or “Loop”.

Luxembourg: La poupée monte le son

Artist: Laura Thorn

Language: French, for the first of three songs this year

Key: D minor (number 6)

My ranking: 24th

And in the death slot we have a song that I somewhat like, but not nearly as much as I want to. It’s a girlbop that serves basically as a sequel to one of my all-time favorite Eurovision songs: “Poupée de cire, poupée de son”, the winner of 1965. The song is about a puppet who comes to life and tells the puppeteer he can’t pull her strings anymore: basically girl power lyrics. The staging tells a nice story to go with it: Laura starts lying on the floor set to visuals while wearing a fabulous old-timey dress, then comes to life and starts singing, and in the bridge we get a costume change into a modern silver dress.

Musically, it’s another francophone girlbop, which is pretty cool in itself, we need more of those. But the song is just a bit too kitschy for me to love: maybe it’s the synth production, or the “nanana” in the chorus. I’m also not a fan of her shouty “aaaaa-aaaaa” in the final chorus; I think that wasn’t necessary. It’s fun enough to listen to and I very much appreciate the callback to France Gall, but it’s just not quite good enough to keep.

At the end of the song in the semifinal, Thorsten Schorn said (translated to English): “No, that’s not Yvonne Catterfeld, that’s Laura Thorn from Luxembourg. And another costume change! I’ve lost count of how many we’ve had tonight.” But in the final, he said this was the first of many costume changes with a sarcastic “yay”.

Estonia: Espresso Macchiato

Artist: Tommy Cash

Language: English and broken Italian

Key: E minor

My ranking: 36th

I need to have a talk with both the juries and televoters, because HOW THE FUCK DID THIS OBNOXIOUS PIECE OF CRAP SONG COME THIRD PLACE?????

To the televoters, you guys had one job, ONE FUCKING JOB, which was to boost KAJ as high as you possibly could like you did with Baby Lasagna last year, so that even if these lovable Finland-Swedes don’t win, they’d have put up a good fight against the loud minority of pro-Israel fans and the opera-loving juries. But no, not only did Israel get more televotes than any other country this year, you also decided to give way more votes to this than to Sweden. Do you people think the song is automatically good just because it’s Tommy Cash? Do you think jokes about Italian stereotypes are the funniest shit? You guys didn’t even give that many votes to “Mama ŠČ!” two years back which is just as awful of a song, and even fewer to “No Rules!” last year which is an actually good song beneath the jokes. Now in one of, if not the strongest grand final in Eurovision history, we have a joke entry in fucking THIRD PLACE.

To the juries, what kind of fucking drugs were you on to award this 98 points? Why would you make an exception to your hatred of comedic entries for THIS of all fucking songs? You guys proved your distaste for comedic songs just fine with your zero points to Iceland and your nine to San Marino. He’s not a good singer, the music is annoying as fuck, and I thought this would be a perfect example of jury repellent. To be fair, I won’t pretend Joost Klein’s live vocals were any better, but he made up for it by having a fucking amazing song with a heartfelt message at the end.

Now this song, on the other hand, is just a shitty joke entry with no musical merit. Well OK, the jazzy parts aren’t too bad to listen to despite the annoying rap vocals, but the trappy beat parts are an absolute assault on the ears with that repetitive melody and those annoying bassy synths. Yes, I know the staging has some good gags in it like the fake stage invasion, but a joke entry is only good if the music beneath is actually good! In all fairness, there are some joke entries I actually like despite being complete shit, but that’s because sometimes the stupidest shit makes me laugh. This song unfortunately is too stupid even for me.

I can accept I’m in the minority for not liking this song, but I can’t fucking BELIEVE this got more televotes than “Bara bada bastu”. The rant will continue when I review that absolute masterpiece, but for now we have a separate rant coming…

(P.S. I don’t want to focus on national final entries much in this review, but the native-language banger “Külm” is too good not to share. It’s danceable yet just a tinge emotional at the same time.)

Israel: New Day Will Rise

Artist: Yuval Raphael

Language: English, French, and Hebrew

Key: G minor, A minor

My ranking: 30th

Let me start by saying that as with last year’s Israeli entry, this should not have been allowed in the contest. But I’ve decided I will rank it on a musical level anyway. As someone who hates most ballads and didn’t want Israel to participate this year, I reluctantly admit that this is the best song of the top three, because it’s the only one that actually feels like a song. The fact that my favorite of the top three is a ballady ballad proves how fucking dire the other two are.

First I’ll discuss the song itself. As I said, it’s a drama ballad that, as with “Hurricane”, is blatantly about the war Israel has been going through for the past two years. Except as a song, I actually like it better than “Hurricane”. Putting aside all politics, I can notice a few nice things about the song: the sprinkling of two other languages that flow naturally into the song, the elegant transition from G minor to A minor, and most of all Yuval’s voice because she’s truly an excellent singer. She gives exactly the kind of expressive performance that a song like this demands. Not only does she have an emotional voice, she also has a slight tinge of raspiness that adds extra to the emotion. If there was no war in Gaza right now, and no controversies whatsoever about Israel participating or hosting, I would have preferred for this to win the split screen against Austria.

That said, even if it weren’t for the politics connected to this entry, it’s not the kind of song I would come back to at all. It’s a drama ballad that’s mainly about the voice, and those are never my thing. There are 29 other entries this year that I musically prefer over this. There are two ballads in the grand final I do love, and one is an ethno-ballad so I’m naturally inclined to like it.

Now let’s begin the rant. I restrained myself in my Israel rant last year, but not this time. I’m going to go ahead and say it: Israel should be banned from Eurovision 2026, and all future editions until the war ends. It’s clear that no one actually wants them there right now, and ABSOLUTELY NO ONE wants them to win, except the most hardcore Israel supporters. And I suspect that even the biggest Israel supporters of the Eurovision fandom would have to admit that if Israel were to win and insist on hosting, the boycotts and protests would massively damage the contest. Even after the war ends (which I sincerely hope happens as soon as possible), they should only be allowed in if they agree to never do ad campaigns again, especially not ones funded by their government. It’s not just Israel that shouldn’t be allowed to do ad campaigns: that should be a rule applied to all participant countries.

Now some of the pro-Israel Eurovision fans insist that the only reason anyone wants the country banned is because of antisemitism. This pisses me off, because there are many legitimate reasons to want them banned that have nothing to do with antisemitism. If you think that the only reason anyone would oppose a country’s actions is due to racism against their people, that means you think it’s the most perfect country in the world and deserves an exemption to all criticism. And let me make myself absolutely clear: if your reason for wanting Israel banned from Eurovision is because you hate Jews, then you are a seriously fucked up person.

So what are those legitimate reasons to want Israel out of the contest? For one thing, their absolute insistence on having their politicians meddle in the contest. Not to mention the ad campaigns, which Israel did last year without getting punished for it, so of course they were going to do it again. Funded by the Israeli government, we had another YouTube ad campaign where Yuval asked all 36 other participating countries, each in their own language, to vote for Israel. The videos each include a link telling the viewer to give all 20 of their votes to Israel. Not only that, there are many viewers who found loopholes to vote from multiple phone numbers or credit cards, and since the pro-Israel viewers are likely to give Yuval all 20 of their votes, that led to a whole bunch of spam voting, so it’s no wonder that Israel swept the televote in so many countries. The only that gave zero televote points to Israel are Armenia, Croatia, and Poland. I don’t know why that is, but my best guess is that those three countries had spam protection measures that the others didn’t.

Another reason to want Israel out of the contest is that if they win, it would be extremely damaging for the contest as a whole. Many countries would be hesitant to attend a contest in Israel during or shortly after their war, and I imagine a good amount would boycott it entirely. Not to mention all the prospective contestants and staff members who would be uncomfortable with a contest hosted in Israel, knowing their government’s actions. This isn’t just hypothetical: the previous Icelandic commentator stepped down from his role in 2024 specifically because of Israel participating, and many different Eurovision contestants have signed letters at various points demanding the country be banned.

The ideal scenario for Eurovision 2026 would be that at least a few countries refuse to participate unless Israel is banned. If enough countries make this threat, then the EBU could decide that they would rather keep them in the contest than keep Israel. Then we wouldn’t have to deal with their bullshit anymore, and we could look forward to a normal and peaceful Eurovision. But what if the EBU still lets Israel participate? What could be done to prevent them from getting so many spam votes? The answer is to revamp how televoting works. If I could choose any change to the televoting system, I would say that viewers have to pick five entries to vote for and rank them from first to fifth. That way, the voter gives 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1 votes respectively to each of their top five, for a total of fifteen. That would be very easy to implement for online voting, and for SMS and call voting I’m sure there’s a way it can be done. In that system, a song that would’ve previously gotten 100% of someone’s votes would instead get only a third of them, which means the proportion of votes that song would get is divided by three. This would also mean that everyone’s contributions to the vote have equal weight, instead of the 20 point voters dictating most of the points.

An alternative idea would be to keep the 20 vote system, but allow only up to five votes for one country. I don’t like this as much as the ranking system, but it would be easier to implement. A third idea would be to reduce the maximum number of votes, but I don’t think the EBU would do that since the broadcasters no doubt make a lot of money from the votes.

But let’s be real here. No one would ever be talking about revamping the vote system if it weren’t for Israel so blatantly exploiting it. So if they were banned, we could probably just keep the televoting system the same. That said, no matter how you feel about Israel participating, I think it’s worth looking at the shortcomings of how televoting currently works. And there’s one last change that absolutely must be done no matter whether Israel is banned: go back to opening the voting after all the songs are complete. That will greatly decrease spam votes and increase the portion of votes from those who actually watched the show. For the rest of the world, we could keep the 24 hours of voting before the show (since rest of the world voters have to watch a recap of all songs before they can vote), but close it when the show begins and reopen it at the same time as for everyone else.

Regardless of all the changes the EBU could make, this song shouldn’t have been here to begin with, just like “Hurricane”. And to close off this review, I will reiterate that I truly hope the war between Israel and Hamas ends soon, and that there can be peace between Israelis, Palestinians, and anyone else who calls the region home.

Lithuania: Tavo akys

Artist: Katarsis

Language: Lithuanian

Key: A minor

My ranking: 16th

Before I begin this review, here’s another national final song that’s too good not to share: “Į saldumą” by Petunija. It’s full of buildup, it’s emotional, and it ends with a simple vocal and guitar to pluck at my heart. My favorite part is the synth breakdown halfway through.

Now to talk about this song! It’s a gritty dark rock song with depressing lyrics (as is the case with all of Katarsis’ songs I’ve been told), so it’s the kind of entry that’s more appealing to eastern Europeans than to western Europeans. A case in point is my mom, who found this song to be boring and emotionless as hell. Most of its points came from other eastern Europeans, but eight each came from the UK and Ireland, who always give Lithuania some diaspora votes.

As you can see from my ranking, it’s far from my favorite but I actually quite like it. It’s emotional in the right way and has a really nice sense of buildup and progression. I need to be in the right mood to enjoy this, but when I am in the right mood, it hits quite different. I saw them give a moving performance in the St. Jakobshalle and I knew it would resonate with viewers, so I wasn’t surprised when this qualified, but the Lithuanian fans I met after the show ended were pleasantly surprised it did. For some reason, in both Malmö last year and in Basel, it was very easy for me to find Lithuanian fans but hard to find any from the other two Baltics. Lithuania is the most populous of the three, but not by that much.

Now what was the performance in semifinal 2 that moved me the most? You’ll find it in the second half of the grand final.

Spain: Esa diva

Artist: Melody (Melodía Ruiz Gutiérrez)

Language: Spanish

Key: E♭ minor

My ranking: 29th

Now this song has quite a killer postcard. I love the occasional postcards where the contestant prepares some food, and in this one Melody makes some delicious-looking Swiss chocolate.

I saw in Basel how excited Spanish fans were about their entry this year, yet something told me that no one outside of Spain would care for it that much. And I was right: this landed 24th place. I had to laugh when it only got ten points from the televote. I don’t hate this song, I just find it a very generic Spanish girlbop. The verses are nice enough, but in the chorus it gets too overproduced and bassy for me. She’s a strong singer and fun performer to watch, but I think she needed a better song than this.

Ukraine: Bird of Pray

Artist: Ziferblat, who are two brothers and one friend of theirs. First pair of siblings here!

Language: Ukrainian and English

Key: C♯ minor, D minor. Now 7 songs at least partly in D minor.

My ranking: 15th

Now this song is a perfect example of music theorist bait. It’s the kind of song music theory nerds like me will appreciate due to all the composition curveballs and the chords in particular, like “The Wrong Place” from 2021 or “Disko” from 2022. The song screams “HIIIII! PLEASE DO A MUSICAL ANALYSIS OF ME!” so that’s what I will do.

This song opens up with some wailing ladies singing some lovely high notes over a guitar. That portion of the song could arguably be interpreted as G♯ minor, but I’m choosing to interpret the entire song pre-key change as C♯ minor, since that’s just a hop away on the circle of fifths anyway. Now take notes, Austria: those wailing ladies are how you can throw in vocal stunts without making the entire goddamn song about them! I couldn’t handle an entire song of high-pitched wailing, but having them as little touches in this song does wonders.

The verses, sung in Ukrainian, are a little gritty and rocky, and don’t explore too much ground musically. They let the listener get accustomed to the indie rock sound while enjoying Daniil harmonizing with the backing women. In the pre-chorus, the drums drop out for a bit and the song enters just a tinge of C♯ major key. Then the guitars come back in and the language switches, leading to a gorgeously haunting chorus. The chord progression of the chorus is absolutely lovely, and just the right degree of dissonant to sound uneasy yet hopeful. It’s full of diminished and major seventh chords, and has a really groovy diminished chord when he sings “I’m begging you”. I also like that it only takes one or two listens to be able to sing reasonably well to the chorus (fly, bird, I’m begging you, begging you please just…). The progression ends up transitioning back to the waily woman section, then comes a shorter second verse and the chorus, you know the drill.

After the second chorus comes a cool breakdown where guitarist Valentyn and drummer Fedir get time to shine. Then comes a key change where all the instruments drop and Daniil sings over some string chords—the right way to do a final chorus for me. Then comes two little explosion chords with breaks (fly, bird), then the final chorus continues as usual and we end where we began: wailing ladies over guitar notes.

Now if this song has so many interesting musical details, why do I have this ranked only 15th? Two reasons: (1) this is an insanely strong year, and (2) I often prefer listening to a musically simple fun song (like “Hallucination” from Denmark or “Lighter” from Norway) over this. Still, this song is an easy keeper for me and I can see myself continuing to appreciate the composition details for years.

Before I move to the next song, I should mention that in Ziferblat’s Wiwibloggs interview (timestamped) I asked which Eurovision artists inspire them the most, and they went on for four minutes listing all their favorites. It’s clear that they’re big Eurofans too. Props to them for continuing Ukraine’s top 10 streak and landing ninth place. Their country really knows what they’re doing in Eurovision.

United Kingdom: What the Hell Just Happened?

Artist: Remember Monday, a girl trio

Language: English

Key: G major

My ranking: 33rd

Obligatory mention that before this song, we get mini-reprises of two Eurovision entries: Sandra Studer singing her own “Canzone per te” in 1991, and Michelle Hunziker singing some version of “Volare” from 1958.

I should also mention that in the UK has one of my favorite postcards this year. The three girls ride a jet to the top of a mountain to party and eat some Swiss food, and they look like they’re having an absolute blast doing it. Reminds me of the time in Italy many years ago, where me and my family rode a gondola to the top of a mountain and had a simple but fabulous picnic. Oh, the good old days before my parents were divorced. But it’s been a few years and I’ve accepted life is simply different now. OK, now to discuss the UK entry!

If you watch a recap of the British entries throughout Eurovision history, you’ll see that from 2003 to 2020, they didn’t try at all most years and just sent bland pop or joke entries. But from 2021 onwards, the UK has actually been trying to send appealing songs. The problem is that normally that they try too hard with the staging and the artist can’t keep up with it (except for the showman Sam Ryder), and this year, they tried too hard with the song as well.

This song frustrates me because I could really love it if it didn’t change genres every ten seconds. It’s fun and upbeat and has a good amount of harmonies, but one moment it’s upbeat British pop, the other it’s a drawn-out rock ballad, and then the song randomly slows down and pauses a bunch of times so they can sing “what. the. hell. just. happeeeeeeened?” Basically, it’s a completely dizzying experience. I’m not surprised it got zero points from the televote, but I didn’t think it would get as much as 88 from the juries. Remember Monday are pretty decent singers (unlike the last two UK entrants) and they know how to harmonize, but I can hear them struggling to keep up with the staging. I feel like many juries focus too much on vocal skills and not enough on the music, which brings me straight to…

Austria: Wasted Love (the winner)

Artist: JJ (Johannes Pietsch)

Language: English

Key: C♯ minor

My ranking: 34th

I apologize in advance to any fans of this song reading this, which I’m sure are plenty. And sorry to anyone who’s happy about this song winning, because I am really, really not. I know, blah blah, aren’t we so glad it wasn’t Israel. Well, guess what? THIS SHOULDN’T HAVE WON EITHER!

Don’t get me wrong, this is an infinitely preferable winner over Israel, because “New Day Will Rise” winning would have probably killed the contest, and you know well how much Eurovision means to so many people around the world, including me. Once the split screen came up between this and Israel, I wanted this to win of course, but I felt no enthusiasm or joy about it. I pretty much knew the song would surpass the minimum of 100 televote points needed to win, because my week in Basel made it very obvious how big its fanbase is. At the end of the voting results, I was relieved Israel didn’t win, but I was also royally pissed about the other top three.

The song itself consists entirely of vocal showboating over a cinematic instrumental, so of course the juries were going to eat it right up. I will never deny JJ’s vocal talent, I just hate the fact that you can compose a cinematic song, find a guy who can do vocal stunts, and boom, you just won Eurovision. Those kinds of songs scream “hiiiii, please give me your twelve points!” and the juries fall for it completely, the televoters enough to help it win. I like it so much better when a song organically gains a fanbase that propels its way to victory, but so long as Israel are eating up half the televote points, I don’t even know if such a victory is still possible.

I know I praised Nemo’s song last year, which was also “hey juries, give me your twelve points!” That’s because the song has a little bit of everything and the high-pitched vocal stunts don’t take up the entire song. This song though… if you hate opera, then there’s nothing about it you will like. And I most certainly hate opera—hated it since I was a little kid. Despite this, I will admit that upon a single listen, the song has plenty of wow factor, and when watching it in the arena I thought “holy shit, how does his voice DO that?!” To be fair, there’s something about being in the arena that puts me in a good mood and allows me to forget all my Eurovision grudges.

Still, my point is, I consider this to be a single-use song. The kind you listen to once and get wowed by (especially in the speed-up ending), but has no relisten value. And I just hate that this song won instead of one of the many actually good entries this year. There are only three I’ve ranked lower this year: Slovenia’s ballad that bores me to tears, Estonia’s insufferable joke entry, and Ireland’s even more insufferable nightmare of kitsch. This song at least has the benefit of a cinematic instrumental, which is good enough to put the song at my fourth last place.

I should also discuss: who exactly is behind the song, other than JJ himself? If you remember Teya and Salena from 2023, who sang a boppy bop about Edgar Allan Poe, Salena has moved on to do other things but Teya (Teodora Špirić) has been going hard writing Eurovision-ready songs. She isn’t listed as a composer of “The Code”, but she knew about the song well before it was publicly released and probably helped supervise its creation. She also composed “Heaven Sent” for the Maltese national final this year, and I actually like the song a lot. It’s very much like a female version of “The Code”, and has vocal showboating thrown in to just the right degree. I’ll discuss the song more when I get to Malta’s entry, so as not to get sidetracked.

“Wasted Love” has Teya’s fingerprint on it too, but unfortunately I just can’t get along with a song with full opera singing. The more times I listen to this, the more I get annoyed by the opera vocals. It’s not so bad in the first verse, but starting from the first chorus the over-the-top opera begins and I want it to end as quickly as possible. It gets less bad in the speed-up section, I suppose, but it’s still an anti-me song.

Plus, I really wanted one of the many non-English bangers to win this year (cough cough Sweden), or just any song that has more staying power than this (cough cough Sweden). It is what it is, I guess, but I can’t help feeling salty anyway. I was similarly salty about “Tattoo” beating “Cha Cha Cha” two years ago, but I came to terms with it once it became clear “Cha Cha Cha” is one of the Eurovision songs. So maybe I’ll come to terms with this winning in a few years, but for now I am pissed off it won.

Iceland: Róa

Artist: Væb (Hálfdán and Matthías Matthíasson). A duo of brothers and the second sibling pair this year.

Language: Icelandic

Key: B minor, C minor

My ranking: 7th

Woohoo, all my rants about the top three are finished! From this point onwards, there is not a single bad song for the entire rest of the final. Well, unless you count JJ’s winning reprise, but that’s a technicality. Everyone buckle your seatbelts, because the good part of the grand final has officially begun!

This song right here is the epitome of what my family would call a “Cedric song”. It’s the kind of crazy hectic shit that I eat right up but the others would never dare to listen to. Basically, that’s a roundabout way to say I fucking love this song. It’s hectic and pumping and fun to sing along to (or attempt to, since Icelandic is tough to pronounce). How could I possibly not love it? It’s exactly the kind of song where once I finish listening to it, I want to hear it again. I wasn’t expecting to like this song so much, since I heard Væb’s national final entry “Biómynd” from last year and wasn’t a fan, but this year the brothers fielded out an absolute banger.

You know what, this is gonna get a musical analysis too. Someone out there has to pick apart this wonderful song musically, and I don’t see anyone else doing it! It starts by introducing the lead melody played on violin (harmonized with a second violin), then the song blasts into utter hectic joy as the guys sing the chorus. Something cool about the chorus is that it has a good amount of familiar words to an English speaker: “róandi hér, róandi þar” sounds quite a bit like “rowing here, rowing there” (þ is pronounced as “th”), while “það getur ekkert stoppað mig af” sounds like “something something stop me”, and really means “there is nothing that can stop me”. I love the hectic triple meter of the song and I just love how catchy the chorus is.

The verses consist of a mix of rapping and singing, and the instrumental does something clever to match with it. When the boys rap, the instrumental keeps one chord and has the bass play the same note, but then the song returns to its four-chord progression when they sing. Yes, most of the song has one four-chord progression, but it works by being such a boppy bop. The pre-chorus (er sjórinn opnast…) uses “ég er” (I am) as a hook and cuts out the drums at first, but they gradually return in the leadup to the chorus.

We return to the chorus, then get a violin solo which honestly sounds cool as fuck. The second verse is like the first but with more instrumental depth, which is always a plus for me. What’s a good example of a song whose second verse has more depth than its first? There’s a few this year, like “C’est la vie” or “Bara bada bastu”. The second chorus has the drums cut out a bit, and you can see what’s happening here: the song has instruments enter and exit a ton, which is a great way to make hype the song hype me up. The maximum depth it has is in the chorus. Then comes a buildup section with the melody played on synths and “hey! hey!” which leads to a key change, where we enjoy the chorus and violin solo one last time.

My absolute favorite part of the song is the very end. The song could’ve ended with just one note right after they finish singing the chorus, but Væb are too cool to end a song just like that. Instead, the song finishes with a repeated series of notes on the violins, exactly what you’d hear at the end of a movie trailer song, or a flashy dance performance like let’s say Riverdance. I absolutely adore the bombastic ending, because the song didn’t need to have it but it did so anyway. It finishes the song on a dramatic note and shows that these guys may be goofballs, but they really do take their music seriously. The ending is the cherry on top of this already delightful song.

This song got zero points from the juries in the final. Which I guess is fair enough (if you ignore certain other jury results), because this is an extremely jury-unfriendly song. It got just 33 televote points, which means it landed in second last place. But you know what? I’m just happy this song qualified to the final, and it seems like Væb themselves feel the same way. I genuinely was not expecting this to qualify, and I’m doubly happy because I actually voted for this. I love the guys’ energy on stage with their sunglasses and silver suits, I love the visuals which show volcanoes, sharks, and other images associated with Iceland, and I just love this overall.

Side note: I love the fact that this song was chosen as the opener of semifinal 1. It’s normal for the producers to choose an upbeat song at the start, but unusual for them to pick one not in English. That proves the show is gonna be heavy in native-language songs, and Poland following confirms that. Slovenia breaks the flow with a ballad in English, but at this point the viewer has learned to expect a fuck ton of languages in the show, and happily that’s what we got.

Could Eurovision 2025 get any better than this??? Yes it can, because next we have something even fucking better.

Latvia: Bur man laimi

Artist: Tautumeitas, whose name means “folk girls” in Latvian

Language: Latvian, for the first time since 2004

Key: B minor and E major in alternation

My ranking: 3rd

Another one of my favorite postcards! The girls wear stylish fairy dresses and explore a university in Zürich where they meet a cool little robot. In both semifinal 2 and the final, Thorsten Schorn joked about what he would want a robot to do: in semifinal 2 to unload his dishwasher, and in the final to get drinks out of the fridge and refill a Käseigel (a German party snack made of cheese and fruits). Personally I could trust a robot to load my dishwasher if I can proofread before starting it, but unloading I would rather do on my own, because everything has a specific place where it goes. Before the song in both shows, he also joked about going to the dentist and saying “aaaaa”. Good for a laugh when the song begins.

If you’ve read my Supernova 2025 review, you’ll know how much I adore this song and won’t be surprised I have it so high in my ranking. I already wrote a musical analysis of the song in that post, so go read that first. Then buckle up, because I have even more to say now!

First off, I no longer think this is the “Europapa” of the year. This distinction now goes to “Bara bada bastu”, because like “Cha Cha Cha” and “Europapa”, I have its lyrics memorized and sing along whenever I hear it. This is more like… how about the “Jako” of Eurovision 2025? I think that works. A shamelessly ethnic song that’s an absolute joy to dance to and (attempt to) sing along to.

Second, I have the craziest story to tell from the arena during semifinal 2. In the hallways of the arena, I was looking for anyone else who was a fan of Latvia’s song so I could tell them how much I’m rooting for it, and eventually I encountered two people wearing “Bur man laimi” shirts, signed by all the Tautumeitas themselves. It turned out they were the parents of one of the singers. Their English wasn’t the greatest, but they could tell I was a major fan of their Eurovision song, and of Tautumeitas as a whole. So at the end of the second semifinal after Latvia qualified, I took a moment to cheer and share my excitement with them. There was actually a whole crew of audience members wearing Tautumeitas shirts, who you can easily see in the final, and I think all of them were their family members. I also met the brother of one of the Tautumeitas after the show and congratulated him as well.

Third, let’s talk about the fact that this got second place in semifinal 2. To me, it seemed very obvious that this was a safe qualifier. Every time they sing the song, they absolutely nail their performance. They harmonize beautifully, they charm the audience with their dancing, and they always throw in some cool vocal stunts near the end. All this is crucial to qualifying, because Eurovision is all about making a good first impression. Dons qualifying last year and Mustii not proves that the televoters care about who can sing, just not as consciously as the juries do. Yet for some reason, whenever I saw screenshots of betting odds (which I try to avoid looking at), Latvia was listed near the bottom. I was skeptical and thought this should be a safe qualifier, but I let the worries get to me nonetheless. I was exuberant when it qualified, and then when I saw this got the second most points in semifinal 2 behind Israel (which could well have meant winning it if it weren’t for ad campaigns), I realized that I was right all along. It got points from all other countries in semifinal 2, and even ten from the rest of the world which proves its international appeal.

Then in the final, Latvia got 7th place in the juries and 16th in the televote, which landed this at a very respectable 13th place. The Latvians must be so proud this year. First time ever that a song in Latvian reached the final, and an awesome one at that! I look forward to seeing what Latvia has in store for next Eurovision. This could well be a new golden age for them.

Wait, before I go to the next song, I should tell you that Tautumeitas’ music is just plain awesome in general. I would describe them as a Latvian Värttinä with a slight electronic twist, but I’m not sure any of my commenters other than Erica are familiar with Värttinä. Basically, if you love European ethnic choirs and percussion, then Tautumeitas are just the artist for you.

The other songs of theirs I know are “Raganu nakts”, a half percussion fest half choir piece that they performed at a pre-party, as well as the entirety of their album “Zem Saules / Under the Solar Spell” which was released shortly before Eurovision 2025. For some highlights of the album: “Mēs dancosim” keeps the same choir melody throughout but gradually gains a groovy chord progression and beat, so it sounds like a Latvian folk choir traveling through time into the 21st century. “Danco, Jāni” is slow and hypnotic and has a really lovely chorus where the bass kicks in. “Kas dimd” is a touch more synthy than their other songs and I love the triple meter. And “Kur tie zilie dūmi kūp”, the last track before their Eurovision entry, is amazingly ambitious and probably my second favorite of the album behind “Bur man laimi”.

Netherlands: C’est la vie

Artist: Claude Kiambe

Language: English and French in frequent alternation

Key: F♯ minor

My ranking: 18th

Before I discuss this song, now’s a good point to discuss the aftermath of the Joost Klein incident. After he got disqualified from Eurovision 2024, the Dutch Eurovision fans and their broadcaster AVROTROS were absolutely pissed off at the EBU, and had serious doubts as to whether they’d participate in Eurovision 2025. Even after Joost’s criminal charges were dropped on August 12, 2024, the Dutch broadcaster didn’t decide to rejoin just yet, and instead said this proves his disqualification was unfair (which it was). The deadline for countries to confirm participation was September 15, but AVROTROS got an extension until November 1.

After months of pressuring the EBU to treat their artists better and prevent another Joost incident, the Netherlands finally confirmed they’d participate on October 23 and launched an internal selection. On that same day, they revealed Joost Klein got an offer to compete in Basel but turned it down. I’m honestly glad he declined the offer, for a few reasons: it wasn’t a good idea for him to return until after we know the EBU’s reforms worked, he would’ve had an unfair advantage in the televote, and “Europapa” is a once in a lifetime song that can’t be replicated. That said, I wish the EBU would stop pretending the song doesn’t exist just because he got disqualified.

The result of AVROTROS’ pushing was that the EBU appointed a safety manager in the artist environment, massively reduced filming behind the scenes, added a quiet room to the arena where artists cannot be filmed, assembled a crisis team, and hired Martin Green as a new Eurovision director. Additionally, the EBU made a new set of rules involving filming and no-filming zones, and publicly released a code of conduct that makes it clear what would get a contestant disqualified. After Eurovision 2025 finished, it looks to me like these changes were a success. The artists had a much happier time than last year and there were no filming incidents or arguments between delegations that I’m aware of. The Israeli delegation, who last year got into countless spats with others involving filming contestants, didn’t get into any incidents this year, which I’m grateful for. During rehearsal week, fans were left in the dark more than usual as a result of these changes, but this sacrifice was well worth making. I just hope the EBU can implement further changes to prevent drama in Eurovision 2026, but I already discussed that in my Israel rant.

The end result of the internal selection came on December 19, where AVROTROS revealed their participant to be Claude Kiambe, known mononymously as Claude. His song was released two months later. As with last year, they picked an artist popular in the Netherlands who dreamed of going to Eurovision since he was a kid, and introduced him to the rest of Europe. And much like Joost Klein, Claude has quite a story to tell. He’s a refugee from the Democratic Republic of the Congo who moved to the Netherlands when he was nine, and his roots are reflected in his music. He makes Stromae-inspired pop songs that alternate between two languages, so a line in Dutch will often rhyme with a line in French. His songs are usually in a mix of Dutch and French, but sometimes in English and French, and he opted for the latter in Eurovision.

While “Europapa” was easily my winner last year, this song doesn’t reach the same heights, but it’s just good enough to keep on a playlist. What I like most about the song is two things: Claude’s gorgeous voice, and the piano parts since I’m a pianist myself. Oh wait, there are also some really nice string riffs in the second verse, so make that three things. This man is a natural on stage: stellar singer, brilliant performer, knows exactly how to connect with the audience. All the “c’est la-la-la-la-la vie” is a bit much, but I should be able to live with it. The staging has a few clever moments to help stick the song in viewers’ heads: the duo of backing dancers, his walk to three violinists, and especially the part at the end where he mirrors an actor playing his younger self.

When AVROTROS announced their choice of artist for Basel 2025, they promised the song would easily win the hearts of young and old viewers, perhaps to reassure fans who were upset Joost wasn’t coming back. And there were right: most Dutch fans I met in Basel were proud of their country’s song. Not quite to the same frenzied extent as last year, but as I said, “Europapa” can’t really be replicated. Additionally, my Australian friend (the guy who got me into Eurovision) went off about how this song struck a chord with him, and how emotional it made him. It has a simple message that’s easy to connect to about life being a rollercoaster full of ups and downs, while also being a tribute to Claude’s mother who told him just that when he was little. This parallels “Europapa” being a tribute to Joost Klein’s dead parents.

After last year’s shitshow, I’m happy that the Netherlands managed to select another song that the fans love, and achieved a respectable 12th place in the end. I’m impressed with how quickly they ran the internal selection: once they made up their mind on participating, they went straight to work on picking a song. In the end, Claude came back home having fulfilled his childhood dream.

Und jetzt kommt…

Finland: Ich komme

Artist: Erika Vikman

Language: Finnish, plus the title repeated in German

Key: D minor (verses), D major (chorus and outro). D minor count: 8.

My ranking: 4th

… this absolute fucking legend. The title of this song means “I am coming”, and yes, it has the exact same double entendre in German as it does in English. The rest of the lyrics are in Finnish, because “Cha Cha Cha” has cured Europe’s aversion to songs in Finnish.

Ah, remember during the pre-season when we (or at least I) thought this would be the biggest crowd pleaser of the year? A month later, Sweden gave us an even bigger crowd pleaser, but then during the grand final the televoters decided Estonia was a better song because they have no fucking taste. And even that wasn’t enough to stop Israel’s ad campaigns from winning the televote. Is it any wonder Finland got lost in the mix and only landed 11th place? Well OK, in a year as competitive as this, this is still a respectable result, but it’s still lower than a lot of us envisioned. Regardless of her result this year, Erika is well on her way to becoming the next Eurovision icon. An Irish fan I met on the bus ride home from the grand final said that “Ich komme” was the birth of a European superstar.

Before Eurovision 2025, I already knew Erika Vikman for two songs: “Cicciolina” from the 2020 Finnish selection, which is a fun enough dance diva tune, and her collab with Käärijä called “Ruoska” which is fucking insanely awesome and addictive. So when I saw her name in the lineup for UMK 2025, I wasn’t surprised she won the selection and would then go to Eurovision. Her song is just something else all together. It starts off as a simple enough diva anthem in the verse, but then it gets all explosive in the chorus, and it becomes clear this song was built specifically to fill up an arena. I tried to go into Eurovision 2025 unspoiled, but I couldn’t resist giving this one a listen, and it was because of this one (as well as Germany) that I decided to get a ticket for semifinal 2. The best part when the song speeds up and she ascends on a giant microphone. That portion feels like the climactic part of sex in musical form, which makes sense because that’s exactly what the song is about. No matter what language you speak, the subject matter of the song is blindingly obvious.

A Danish fan who follows my blog that I met in Basel (hi if you’re reading this!) told me he likes that Erika commands the stage all on her own, no backing dancers needed, and he’s absolutely right. I also like that she had a Eurovision-ready performance in the national final, which proves Finland knows what they’re doing at Eurovision. But I will admit, out of the big crowd pleasers this year, it just isn’t quite the best one. It’s good enough to be my fourth place, but I slightly need to be in the right mood for this one.

I look forward to what Finland has in store for next Eurovision. I bet they’re going to continue making the craziest crowd pleasers possible until they win.

Italy: Volevo essere un duro

Artist: Lucio Corsi, featuring Tommaso Ottomano

Language: Italian

Key: E major

My ranking: 27th

This song is notable for having the entire lyrics subtitled in English at Eurovision. “In corpore sano” in 2022 and “Europapa” in 2024 did it for small portions of the song, but this does it for the whole song. And you know what, this is the kind of song where it makes sense to see a translation of the lyrics. It helps viewers who speak English connect to and understand the song, which is about Lucio coming to terms with his inability to be fearless and tough.

I feel like since Eurovision isn’t too high a priority for RAI, when they participate they bring about ideas that other broadcasters wouldn’t dare to suggest. One such idea is the subtitles throughout this song; the other is the harmonica solo played into the microphone, which the EBU approved of. An actual live instrument in 21st century Eurovision, woohoo! I would be totally down for more such live instruments, but I doubt we would see them much.

As for the song itself, it’s yet another Italian male ballad so it’s not my cup of tea, but it’s just a tinge more likable than their last few ballads because of the retro glam rock sound. My favorite part is the bridge (i girasoli con gli occhiali…) because it leans most into the glam rock style. I don’t mind it scoring as high as fifth place because, you know, they’re Italy, and I don’t mind listening to it as it happens.

Poland: Gaja

Artist: Justyna Steczkowska, returning from 1995

Language: Polish and English

Key: D minor (count: 9)

My ranking: 14th

Fun fact: both of the returning contestants this year got the death slot in the semifinals. Nina Žižić didn’t survive it, but Justyna did.

Fun fact 2: Thorsten Schorn mentioned that the first time Justyna went to Eurovision, Helmut Kohl was the German chancellor. In American terms that was when Bill Clinton was president (holy crap), and in British terms that was when John Major was prime minister.

Well, would you look at that! Poland has finally managed to send a song that the Poles are truly proud of, and not just a regular good pop song in English (“River” from 2022), but something that actually represents their musical culture. Want proof of how proud the Polish fans are of this entry? Check out Kriszna’s review of the Polish national final, where she does a deep dive into Justyna and the Slavic mythology referenced in this song, then expresses joy that her country was sending a song this good to Eurovision.

My review of this song looks quite different from hers, since I’m an outsider to this type of music. This song reminds me of “Visionary Dream” from 2007 in that the eclectic music and vocal showboating take some getting used to, but every time I hear it, I find something new to like about it. The bassy synths, the storms of percussion, the flourishes on violin, the soaring melody of the chorus, it goes on. The long notes are an acquired taste, but I think I can acquire it. I happily welcome this song into the trio of truly great Polish entries: “Ale jestem” from 1997, “River” from 2022, and now this. Part of me wishes the whole song was in Polish, but I don’t mind the English parts really, because “they call me Gaaaaajaaaaa” is satisfying to sing along to.

I’m obligated to discuss: how does this song compare to Justyna’s first Eurovision entry “Sama”? I actually relistened to the studio version of “Sama”, and holy fucking shit, her second entry is so much better in every way! I can happily call this year the Justyna Redemption Arc, because her first Eurovision song was confusing and dissonant, whereas this is a proper banger. Justyna grew into an insanely good performer, with all her spinning high notes and the part where she hangs from a ceiling and sounds a tad ruggedy (in a good way). I wish the juries gave this more than just 17 points, but it’s on brand for them to not appreciate eclectic folk music, so I’m thankful the televoters saved her with 139 points. This landed her in a respectable 14th place. Scoring just five points fewer, we have:

Germany: Baller

Artist: Abor and Tynna (Attila and Tünde Bornemisza), the third pair of siblings

Language: German, plus one tiny phrase in English but who cares? German-language music finally exists again!!!

Key: C minor

My ranking: 6th

I probably seem a little biased ranking this as high as sixth, but trust me: if I look at this year from a musical standpoint, I only find five songs that I love more than this.

If you’ve read my prior Eurovision posts, you’ll know how badly I wished Germany would send a song in German to Eurovision again. So I’m delighted that the first German-language entry since 2007 (technically 2012, but who the fuck likes Trackshittaz?) isn’t just a DAF ballad that happens to be in German, or an annoying “Chains on You” style trap beat song in German, but a bouncy dancey bop that’s easy to sing along to and makes me feel proud of my country. I was not alone in this: all the German fans I talked to in Basel were stoked about the entry, and one said it was the most excited their country has been since Lena in 2010.

Before I start going off about how awesome this song is, let me say I hope Stefan Raab never organizes a Eurovision selection again. He knew what he was doing back in 2010, but at this point he really doesn’t. If you’ve read Calvin and Hobbes, then Calvinball is an accurate analogy for how he selected the song. I’m happy that the selection ended up with a good song in German, but I would rather Germany’s selection next time not have any last-minute rule changes. That said, there’s one thing Raab did this year that was absolutely heroic. After having been selected for the national final, Abor and Tynna were originally going to write a song in English for the show, but then Stefan Raab heard “Baller” from their upcoming album and convinced them to send that instead.

I already reviewed this song in my Chefsache ESC 2025 post, and I’ll quote a few parts to elaborate on. One thing I said was: It doesn’t sound like a stereotypical breakup song, it’s just totally their own style, their own interpretation of a song about breaking up. I particularly love the line “es tut noch bisschen weh, wenn ich dich wiederseh” (it still hurts a little, when I see you again)—not because of the writing of the line, but because those words flow so damn well. German is a tricky language to rhyme in because it has so many different vowels, which makes a good rhyme in German hit extra hard. And yeah, I totally agree with that.

After more listens, I’ve come to realize the song is full of killer lines like this. One in the pre-chorus is “du setzt ein Punkt nach dem Satz, als hätt’st du mich nie gekannt” (you end the sentence with a period, as if you never knew me), which Tynna said in the Wiwibloggs interview refers to how much more serious a text message becomes if it ends with a period. If you’re the type who texts in all lowercase with little to no punctuation, it’s amazing how powerful a period becomes. I didn’t even realize it until writing the post, but in the second pre-chorus Tynna swaps the pronouns around: “ich setz ein Punkt nach dem Satz, als hätt’ ich dich nie gekannt” (I end the sentence with a period, as if I never knew you). Word swapping like this is a signature trope of Abor and Tynna’s songs.

My other favorite line is “hab’ gelernt was mich nicht killt, macht mich nur schicker”, which means, “I learned that what doesn’t kill me just makes me…” a combination of “prettier” and “more stylish”. The English adjective “chic” is a direct match with the meaning here, but “schick” is a very common word in German, and “chic” in English not so much. I should also note that the English verb “kill” is used in German as a slang word, as is the case in the line I quoted. It doesn’t look out of place as a German word though. At this point, I have almost all the lyrics memorized and happily sing along whenever I hear it.

I should also talk about the staging here, because stage director Marvin Dietmann absolutely nailed it. It looks as slick and professional as the staging Swedish entries normally get, and I mean that in a good way. In Abor and Tynna’s songs, it’s always Tynna who does the singing, while Abor handles the instrumental and plays cello. Both the siblings get an equal amount of screen time on stage and the backing dancers only play a small role, so even though the sister does all the singing, the performance is truly about both of them. It helps that the song starts with Abor on the cello, then only after the curtains drop does Tynna come in.

Their sibling dynamic comes across well on stage: you can see that they banter a little bit but kick ass on stage together. Tynna’s voice has a sassy quality reminiscent of Nena (that’s an observation originally made by Erica, not me) which comes across even more on stage. She may not be the strongest singer of the night, but she makes it work and expresses herself so well. Also, both their black outfits look badass.

Despite Stefan Raab’s insistence that his team are in it to win it, I knew this wouldn’t come anywhere close to winning. I just wanted this to get at least a medium-respectable result, and that’s what it got: 15th place. Since this was such a competitive year with so many illogical results. I’m happy enough with this score. After the show, Raab himself made the same observation about them facing such tough competition, and came across as proud of what they achieved. This didn’t get as high of a ranking as “Always on the Run” last year (12th place with 117 points), but it did get a higher score: 151 points. Let’s face it, we really aren’t the strongest country in Eurovision, so getting a three-digit score, as well as twelve points from two different juries, is something to be proud of. It’s much like a non-Big Five country having recently gotten out of an NQ streak, then getting over 100 points two years in a row. I have no idea what to expect from Germany next Eurovision, considering that for the first time since 1995, a regional broadcaster other than NDR is handling the selection. Let’s hope SWR has a clue what they’re doing! It’s nice that we actually got a respectable result two years in a row, and I have more respect for “Always on the Run” than I used to. It’s still not my kind of song, but Isaak is a ridiculously strong singer.

Now as I did with Tautumeitas, I want to share some of my other favorite Abor and Tynna songs, specifically those from their debut album “Bittersüß”. “Psst” is a boppy bop, and I have a soft spot for it since it’s the first song I ever heard of theirs and immediately got me excited for what they’d bring to Chefsache. “Seifenblasen” gets me tapping my foot when the bass beat drops, then doubly so when the keyboard chords come in. It’s about clinging on to the illusion of true love with a dickbag even when you know your relationship is flimsy, and I’ve been there before. “Winnetou” has a sick pumping trance beat and I wondered for months why I couldn’t understand half of the song. I felt so silly when I learned the second verse was in Hungarian! It’s their parents’ native language, so they occasionally make music in that as well.

At the end of the album is one of their most melancholy songs, “Songs gehasst”. It’s about feeling bitter that your love interest didn’t give a shit about your creative works, and again, I’ve been there. Abor and Tynna’s songs fill a niche of German-language music for me that I always kind of wanted, and they’re such a good way to bring me closer to my maternal roots. Yes, I know they’re Austrian and not German, but they do sing in my mom’s native language. Also, I wonder what kind of douchebag Tynna dated that she would write so many bitter songs about. Then again, I think about half of all people I know dated at least one asshole. The nicer the person, the more horrible their ex(es). I’m reminded a little bit of Laura Rizzotto’s songs, because her music makes it seem like she’s dated some pretty fucked up people.

Oh yeah, Thorsten Schorn said when this song ended that he saw the green room from the commentator’s box, and the guys from Ziferblat danced to it the most of all. See what I mean by them being big Eurofans?

And to end, I’d like to say something short in German: Abor und Tynna, ich bin so unglaublich stolz auf euch.

Greece: Asteromáta (Αστερομάτα)

Artist: Klavdia Papadopoulou

Language: Greek, for the second year in a row

Key: C♯ minor

My ranking: 8th

The behind the scenes clips before this song are a lot of fun and helped by Hazel’s humor. It’s nice that those who didn’t go to the arena get to see some of the insanely fast stage prop setup.

I was absolutely not expecting this song to score as high as sixth place, but I can sort of see why: it’s one of few songs this year that are just as jury-friendly as they are televote-friendly, so it scored just over 100 points in both. And you know what, it’s nice to see a song I like get a way higher result than expected for once. When I attended Klavdia’s Wiwibloggs interview, she came off as a humble person who was surprised yet flattered at the support other Greek Eurovision acts gave her, such as Marina Satti, Helena Paparizou, and even 90-year-old Nana Mouskouri. So I can only imagine how surprised she was about this result.

Basically, Greece this year sent a Greek counterpart to “Ktheju tokës” from 2019, and as a lover of that song, I can’t complain at all about this. It’s an ethno-ballad with an expressive voice and tons of buildup that tells a story about refugees and lives lost in the country’s past war: specifically the Pontic Greek genocide of the 1910’s and 1920’s. Klavdia knocked it out of the park with her vocals, and together with the dramatic instrumental, this song really moved me in the arena. It has exactly the right mix of synths and ethnic instruments to win me over. I’m afraid I have nothing else to say; this is just a lovely song!

Armenia: Survivor

Artist: Parg (Pargev Vardanian)

Language: English, plus a few lines in Armenian as they often do

Key: D minor. No more of this key from here on out, so the final count is 10!

My ranking: 21st

Every year in Eurovision, there seems to be a song that I never expected to qualify at first, but after the singer absolutely nailed their performance, I could understand why it did. Two years ago it was “Break a Broken Heart” from Cyprus, last year it was “Hollow” from Latvia, and this year it was this. In studio this originally seemed like an average male radio rock song, but Parg’s performance with all the treadmill stunts is so awesome that it improves my opinion of the song.

I want to say this isn’t quite good enough to keep on a playlist, but I’ve decided to add it to my Spotify playlist just to see if it sticks. Sometimes the answer is “hell fucking yes” (e.g. “Funny Girl”), sometimes the answer is “unfortunately not” (e.g. “La venda” or “Sebi”). I like the melody of the chorus, the triple meter drum beat (reminds me slightly of “Doomsday Blue”), and even the occasional synth chords in the background. I’m not sure how I feel about the gritty production, but the performance is fun as hell to watch and the song is fun enough to listen to.

EDIT (Aug 8, 2025): The answer is a “hell fucking yes” indeed! I end up liking this song more the more I listen to it and it would probably be higher on my ranking now.

The TV broadcast doesn’t do justice to what it was like seeing him in the arena. My eyes were transfixed on Parg and his treadmill the whole time, and I’m impressed with how well he sings while doing these stunts. He’s not quite Justyna levels of stunty, but that’s a nearly impossible standard to reach. I actually saw a Swiss fan the day before semifinal 2 who had small flags of Armenia and Luxembourg with her. Those were her favorites of Thursday and I think she said she was going to bring those into the arena. My god, she must have loved these semifinal results!

Switzerland: Voyage

Artist: Zoë Më (Zoë Anina Kressler)

Language: French

Key: E♭ major, F major

My ranking: 9th

And now for the home team! The Swiss were quite excited about this entry and hoped they could score well two years in a row. In fact, when I watched the grand final in the St. Jakob-Park, this got the most cheers out of all 26 songs. When I watched semifinal 1 in Eurovision Village, the most cheers went to either Estonia or Sweden. It’s hard to say which of the two got more cheers on Tuesday night, because Sweden got just as many cheers as I expected them to, whereas Estonia got far more than I would’ve ever wanted them to. When I watched semifinal 2 in the St. Jakobshalle, to my recollection the most cheers went to Finland at the end.

I wish I could say this is the best ballad of the year for me, but Greece’s ethno-ballad is just one rank higher so I can’t. Still, this is exactly the kind of song you’d probably think I won’t like, but I do. It’s a lovely gem of a song and I hope people remember it for how good it is, not just for the contrast between the jury and televote points. To recap, it got second place in the juries with 214 points, but the televoters gave it zero points. It seems that the Swiss excitement over this song didn’t carry over to other countries. Still, this landed the host entry at a decent enough tenth place.

Zoë Më seems like a very wholesome person—she even said in her Wiwibloggs interview that she never cusses, so in that sense she’s like an anti-Sissal. That is certainly reflected in the song, which is a moving piano ballad about how much nicer the world would be if we weren’t dicks to one another, except that’s not how she would put it. The song is filled with metaphors, most notably that flowers are more beautiful if you water them than if you cut them. She’s a multilingual musician who does songs in German, French, or a mix of both. She said in the interview she picked French for this song because it’s a great language for whimsy and metaphors, whereas German is better for scenarios that occur in real life.

Kriszna described the song to me as a pianoey “Alle mine tankar”, which is a Eurovision song she knows I adore, and I think that describes the song perfectly. It’s intimate and emotional and feels like a peek into Zoë’s mind. It’s filmed entirely in one camera shot, which is exactly the camera work a song like this demands. It’s also full of buildup and little piano flourishes to keep me engaged all the way through. Near the end it speeds up and hits a climax with “faire un, faire un voyage”, then it elegantly leads into the final key change. I’ve come to realize that there are two ways a key change can actually win me over: first if the song itself is already good, second if there’s musical leadup into the key change. This song does both!

This was one of my mom’s favorites of the night, and to me it’s obvious why: she’s a sucker for emotional songs in French. Many people in the arena were waving lights to the tune of the song, so my mom joined in by turning on the flashlight on her phone, and I did the same. She was so disappointed when this got zero points from the televote.

Malta: Kant (known in Eurovision as “Serving”)

Artist: Miriana Conte

Language: English

Key: E minor

My ranking: 22nd

This song originally was called “Kant” but had to be censored for Eurovision, because let’s be real. Singing that she’s serving “kant” (the Maltese word for singing) was just a loophole to say the word “cunt” on stage, so the EBU was right to censor it. That said, this song will always be “Kant” to me.

I mentioned “Heaven Sent”, the runner-up of Malta’s national final, when reviewing Austria’s song. Part of me is actually happy that didn’t win Malta’s selection, because I’m starting to get sick of this new flavor of “hiiiii, give me your twelve points!” songs. This song is also a clichéd flavor of Eurovision entry, which fans like to call a “yass queen anthem”, but honestly? I expected myself to hate it, but now that I’ve heard it in full, it’s too much fun for me to hate.

This isn’t quite good enough to be a keeper for me, because I want to decide on my own when to listen to this, and I’m just not always in the mood for something like this. But it does have a really fun song structure. The verses are a bit generic and girlboppy, but the pre-chorus (why should we let all the people decide) builds up the hype really well. Then you get to the chorus (serving k*nt) with that bouncy synth riff, and I just can’t not have a good time. Something else I like is that the pause before the chorus is longer each time. Before the second chorus she sings “I do it all the time” an extra time, and before the final chorus the music pauses so she can do a showy high note. Those musical curveballs further elevate the song for me.

In her review of 2025, Erica criticized the staging for having way too much going on. She’s absolutely right, but at the same time I don’t mind too much because this is the kind of song I can laugh with, not laugh at. Plus I love the “DIVA NOT DOWN” at the end. A playful jab at the EBU for demanding the song be censored. Crazy enough, I think this is my mom’s number one favorite of the night, which I would’ve never expected from her. I think it’s just her love of aggressive female music shining through. She hated “Ich komme” on the other hand, perhaps because it was even more blatantly sexual than this.

Portugal: Deslocado

Artist: Napa

Language: Portuguese

Key: F♯ major

My ranking: 25th

We’re not far from done: this is the sixth last song! Here’s one last national final song too good not to share: “I Wanna Destroy U”. It’s sort of like a cross between “Doomsday Blue” and “Cha Cha Cha”, and it’s fucking awesome. I absolutely love how un-Portuguese-sounding it is, whereas “Deslocado” is as Portuguese as… hm. As one of those giant fish platters I was served the one time I went to Portugal. It’s crazy how loudly this song screams Portugal.

I still think this wasn’t the right winner of Festival da Canção 2025, but it’s slightly grown on me since I reviewed the selection. It’s a soft rock song about how out of place the band members feel after immigrating from the islands of Madeira to the Portuguese mainland. It’s ballady, yes, but it’s also melancholy in that Portuguese way and has some nice chords and harmonies. It’s nowhere near a keeper for me, but if it came up in the wild I wouldn’t turn it off. If I had a really bad day and needed to chill out, I might even put something like this on. But on most days, I’m really not in the mood for this.

Denmark: Hallucination

Artist: Sissal, who has a really long full name and is the second Faroese singer in Eurovison

Language: English

Key: F♯ minor

My ranking: 10th

Congratulations to Denmark for qualifying to the final for the first time since 2019, and with a fabulous song at that! Basically Denmark tried to be Sweden this year by sending a polished dancey pop song, and they actually did a damn good job at it. My ranking of tenth place might suggest I don’t love the song that much, but believe me, I do. In any year before this, this would’ve probably been within my top five. I would say this is the best Danish entry of the entire 21st century, and even the best one ever since “Disco Tango” from 1979. Yes, since that long ago. (Also, if you like “Disco Tango”, I made an 8-bit cover of it!)

I’ve decided this deserves a full-length musical analysis as well, because again, someone’s gotta dissect this banger! First off, let me say that Sissal is a fucking awesome singer. She has perfect control of her voice and sense of pitch without resorting to “volume = quality”. She sings her heart out without ever going overboard, which takes some serious skill. I’d say she deserved more than just 45 points from the juries, because their main criterion seems to be how well the contestant can sing. To me, this is what it means to have quality vocals. Not “here’s how high my opera voice can go”. The two points from the televote was also undeservedly low. Ah well, I’m just glad she qualified.

The song starts right off the bat with Sissal’s voice (you show me more…), before the instrumental even properly begins. This would be difficult to pull off live with a backing track if it weren’t for a clever touch in the music. When she sings “you show me”, we hear a bassy synth gradually enter, and it has just enough rhythm to give her a cue on when to start singing. If the first three words were truly acapella, this would’ve been much tougher to do live.

When Sissal sings “more”, the synth riff enters the song, and it’s very reminiscent of the synth riff of “Tattoo”—same even rhythm, same structure of serial ascending notes. That already tells you what the song is gonna be like: a dancey banger sort of like “Tattoo” but more down to earth. While “Tattoo” has Loreen being all artsy throughout the song, “Hallucination” tells a story of being enraptured in love that the viewer can more easily connect to. Already in the first verse, we have some fun instrumental touches: the low synths after she sings each line starting from “meets the eye” (which have been added specifically for the Eurovision version), and then the bass and drum beat when the pre-chorus starts.

The first chorus is interesting because it’s not a full-fledged chorus, more like a preview of the full chorus. It tells us what the melody will sound like (halluuuuuuuu, hallucination) but doesn’t treat us to the feast of synths just yet—that has to wait for the second chorus, which comes after a second verse with kick drums and synth effects. Once we do reach the second chorus… holy FUCK, that explosion of synths is nothing short of an eargasm. The song had been teasing this drop for a minute and a half already, and it’s so satisfying to reach it.

The chorus continues by changing the chord progression a little bit (worlds are changing, darkness fading), then we get a sick-ass breakdown with a backing choir to elevate the song, combined with even more chord changes. Normally I’m not a fan of when songs’ final choruses have a bunch of “aah-aah-aah”, but I’m cool with it in this song because it feels properly earned, and plus it comes with another explosion of synths. It’s the same deal with key changes: the song till this point has to be good enough for the key change to feel earned. Afterwards comes just a few more “halluuuuuuu”s, then one last long note concludes the song.

If you’ve read my prior Eurovision blog posts, you’ll know that when I reviewed the 2000’s contests, I complained about them having too much Eurodance. This song is as Eurodancey as it gets, so why do I love it this much? Maybe it’s the nostalgia factor: songs as punchy and dancey as this aren’t as trendy as they used to be, so in their own way, I find them to be cool again. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m cool with a Eurodance song if it’s actually good like this one.

I should also mention something from Sissal’s Wiwibloggs interview: since she brought up some non-qualifying Eurovision songs she loves, I asked her which past non-qualifiers were her favorites, and she gave two interesting picks (one which she said actually did qualify but didn’t do so well).

OK, that’s all the English-language songs done. Amazingly, all four remaining songs are in the countries’ local languages!

Sweden: Bara bada bastu

Artist: KAJ (Kevin Holmström, Axel Åhman, Jakob Norrgård)

Language: Swedish, for the first time since 1998. It even has a handful of Finnish words mixed in. This still doesn’t feel real.

Key: A minor, B minor

My ranking: 2nd

I never thought I would say this before, but here I am gonna say it: SWEDEN WAS FUCKING ROBBED! Who would’ve guessed I’d ever be salty about Sweden not winning Eurovision?

As I said in the intro, fourth place would normally be a great result, but not when it’s beneath an obnoxious joke entry, a playing-the-victim ballad that shouldn’t have been in the contest, and a demonstration of vocal cord stunts. The actual top three all feel illegitimate to me. Opera stunts are a cheat code to winning the juries, Tommy Cash is apparently a cheat code to nearly winning the televote, and the Israeli government asking viewers from every possible country to give them 20 votes is genuinely cheating and should be prohibited. Since Sweden scored above everything else except the shitty top three, in my heart “Bara bada bastu” is the real winner of 2025. This song winning was too good to be true, I fucking guess.

What’s not too good to be true, however, is Sweden finally sending a song in Swedish! This is their first time singing in Swedish since 1998 (before I was born), and technically their first time singing in Swedish without being forced to since.. wait for it… 1963. We did have one entry in Swedish after 1998, and that’s “När jag blundar” from 2012, sung by a Finland Swede. It’s funny that it took a trio of Finland Swedes to make Sweden sing in Swedish, but it’s not just because of them that this went to Eurovision. The Melodifestivalen voters, most of whom are from Sweden, all banded together and propelled this song to victory, beating a shitty swedo-pop song by Måns Zelmerlöw who thinks he’s such hot shit, and was just as sore a loser as Cliff Richard after KAJ won. A friend of mine who went to the Friends Arena for the Melfest final told me he had a good feeling about KAJ’s entry, and he was right to! I screamed my ass off when they won Melfest, as you can see in this video (where I also tried my best to understand Swedish).

I am so absolutely stoked that Sweden finally sent a fun song to Eurovision for once. It makes me feel so proud to be Swedish, even though I’m not actually Swedish. To make it into Eurovision, a Swedish entry has to go through the perils of Melfest first, so a fun song needs to be REALLY good in order to beat all the swedo-pop soup. There’s usually been one or two lighthearted songs per year that make it to the final in Stockholm, but none came anywhere close to winning, until 2025.

Something notable about KAJ is that all their songs are in their regional dialect of Swedish, the one from their hometown of Vörå. I only know a little bit of Swedish, but enough to notice the little differences from standard Swedish. For instance, “nu ere dags” near the start is a variant of “nu är det dags” (the time has come); I know that phrase from watching Melfest. And in the second line, we have what I find the most standout feature of Finland Swedish: pronouncing the tj-sound like an English “ch” (instead of a sound close to English “sh”), like the K in the word “bekymber”. I could perhaps list more examples, but I don’t think I’m the right person to. So instead, I’ll note another fun thing I learned about the song: all the Finnish words thrown into the song are words that the Swedes are likely to know. That includes “yksi, kaksi, kolme, sauna” (one, two, three, sauna), the cuss word “perkele”, and “ei saa peittää” (do not cover) which is seen on radiators that have labels in all Nordic languages. I love those little details because they tell us something about how the Nordic countries perceive each other.

Now let’s begin the musical analysis of this song I’ve been waiting to write! The first thing we hear in the song is Axel playing an accordion solo, and you know how much I love accordions. It tells us right off the bat that Sweden is finally sending a fun song to Eurovision. The solo appears throughout the song, and it reminds me of the accordion riff from “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” which is my favorite Eurovision song of all time. As Axel plays the solo a second time, the bouncy bassline comes in and Jakob says an infectiously happy “nåjaaaaa!” While Kevin is busy heating up a sausage, Jakob raps the first verse over a simple instrumental: bassline, kick drums, and accordion chords. Typical first verse of a fun song like this.

The song builds up a little in the pre-chorus, which alternates between a catchy “oh-eh-oh-eh-oh” and more lines from Jakob, one of which namedrops the Finnish tango singer Arja Saijonmaa who’s been to Melfest a handful of times, including a cameo when “Bara bada bastu” was about to begin. Axel leads up to the chorus with the iconic hook “yksi, kaksi, kolme, sauna”, then a drum roll leads to the chorus.

The first chorus does a really clever trope that has always made the song stand out to me. When they sing “vi ska bada bastu, bastu”, the chorus doesn’t drop right away, but rather instruments enter bit by bit: first drums plus chords in the background, then a bassline (plus the handshake scene!), then a few buildup effects. And then in the second half of the chorus, we get the grandiose drop, and the wait made it all the more hype. I love hearing all three of KAJ harmonize (they did it more here than in Melfest) and I once again love the accordion. The accordion solo enters once again after the chorus, and then we reach verse 2.

Kevin sings the second verse, and he sounds a tad more intense than Jakob which fits this part of the song. What’s most interesting about the second verse is that the pre-chorus is slightly shorter than in the first verse: after the second “oh-eh-oh-eh-oh”, we go straight to “yksi kaksi kolme sauna”. I assume that’s just to make the song fit into three minutes, but it does give the second verse more intensity. Then we enjoy the second chorus, which unlike the first has the full instrumentation throughout.

In the bridge with all the repeated “bara bada bastu”, I dare you not to sing along. The further that part progresses, the more harmonies it gets, then a slight pause leads to one of the most well-earned key changes in Eurovision history. This whole song is so awesome, I don’t mind one bit that it has a key change. The one problem is that it makes the final chorus slightly difficult to sing along to. The final chorus ends with a combination of the accordion riff and “bara bada bastu”, then a few more chords and a “sauna!” end the song.

Come on guys, it was so obvious I would write a wall of text analyzing this song. But you don’t even need to read it to know how much I fucking love this song. Just as “Europapa” was the “Cha Cha Cha” of 2024 for me, this is without a doubt the “Cha Cha Cha” of 2025. It’s humorous and catchy as hell, I have all the lyrics memorized despite being in a language I don’t speak, and it’s overall awesome. It tells a story that anyone can recognize just from the staging: three guys coming home from a stressful day and having a sauna party. I would talk more about my salt that this didn’t win, but nah. As I said, in my heart it’s the real winner.

If there’s any country that is happy about KAJ not winning, it’s Ireland. I met a pair of Irish fans my mom’s age on the bus ride after the final and they went off about how much their country loves Eurovision, then said they were proud Sweden didn’t pass their victory record this year. Both countries are still tied at seven wins.

The fact that this masterwork isn’t my winner of 2025 shows that whichever song I have as my winner, I must REALLY love it. We only have three songs left: France, San Marino, and Albania. Which of these do I have ranked first place? It’s probably not hard to guess. Oh yeah, there’s the Waterloo singalong in the St. Jakob-Park right after, I remember that! Fun little memory.

France: Maman

Artist: Louane (Anne Peichert)

Language: French

Key: G minor

My ranking: 26th

And my winner of Eurovision 2025 is… nah, just kidding. You know I’m not a ballad guy. That said, ooh, this song has an awesome postcard! Louane and some Swiss girl get some ice cream and eat it on a bench together, which sounds like a fabulous time to me. As far as I’m concerned, there is no such thing as too much ice cream. Shit, I wanna get some ice cream now. Haven’t had any since I got home from Basel.

France sent exactly the kind of song I expected after scoring fourth place with Slimane’s ballad: another drama ballad, but this time sung by a woman. I’m glad France once again went with minimal staging this year. I was slightly worried they wouldn’t, given the showcase performance in a football stadium where Louane desended on a small platform in the air, but keeping it simple was the right call. It’s just Louane singing plus sand made of cork to represent the flow of time, minimal enough to keep us (and her) focused on the song.

I’m OK with this landing seventh place, because it’s French quality and she sings it very well. Not as dramatic as Slimane, but with tons of emotion, easily enough to make my mom, wait I mean ma maman, love it. The song is about two topics at once: Louane losing her mother to cancer and herself becoming a mother. It ends with a recording of her daughter saying “maman”, which is a touching moment. The only actual critique I have with the song is that at parts, she repeats “mamaaaaaan” too much. Other than that, this is a textbook example of “I respect it but it’s not for me”.

San Marino: Tutta l’Italia

Artist: Gabry Ponte

Language: Italian

Key: E♭ minor

My ranking: 11th. Now you should know who my winner is.

OK, I just had some very delicious ice cream! Now I can review the second last song of the grand final. I’m kinda glad the producers put something as silly as this in the second last slot and reserved the last slot for a true crowd pleaser, because normally they do it the other way around. Shortly before the final, I was thinking about how cool it would be if the producers ended the final with a proper fan favorite like they did with “Non mi avete fatto niente” in 2018, and I got my wish!

After this song qualified to the final, I felt like this proved San Marino can easily qualify if they actually send a good song, like they did in 2025. But then it turns out they got only tenth in semifinal 1 and last place in the final, because San Marino is just an unpopular country. I do like this song, but part of me is glad this is the one that landed at the bottom, instead of a song with a more serious fan following like “Ulveham” last year.

This song is full of cultural references to Italy and I’m told is overall a dig at their conservative government, but I don’t understand the lyrics (other than the title meaning “all of Italy”), so for me this is a song I can happily turn off my brain to. It’s boppy and catchy as fuck from start to finish. It has a similar triple meter beat to “Róa”, it has a catchy chorus melody and accordion riff, and overall I can’t help but have a fun time listening to this. The song has a fair amount of title repetition, but it actually works because Gabry turns all those repeated “tutta l’Italia”s into a proper melody. Plus, I find it inherently funny to see a DJ rocking it out on stage set to visuals with stereotypical Italian things.

Albania: Zjerm

Artist: Shkodra Elektronike

Language: Albanian

Key: C minor

My ranking: 1st

And here we have it, my dear readers: my winner of Eurovision 2025! When deciding who would be my favorite of the year, it came down to just two songs: “Zjerm” and “Bara bada bastu”. Both songs are amazing masterworks, and while Sweden’s entry is awesome and joyful in every way, Albania’s song has the edge because it’s not only pure awesome, but often makes me want to cry. And to me, it’s very hard to beat a song that makes me want to cry. That’s why “Calm After the Storm” is my second favorite Eurovision song of all time. I can proudly welcome Albania to my list of winners at long last! But I’ll do the honors in the full rankings section, which is my replacement for “Who’s my favorite?”

I’ll give an in-depth analysis of this song, but unlike Denmark or Sweden where I reviewed the song section by section, I’ll focus on this song as a whole. It’s a hauntingly gorgeous folktronica piece with a lovely voice and a perfect mix of synths and ethnic guitars, plus some killer string riffs. When I heard this song was folktronica, I was expecting it to sound like something Go_A would write, but it does not! This does not sound like any other musician I’ve ever heard, it’s totally a beast of its own. For one thing, it’s not quite in straight rhythm or in swing rhythm, but rather somewhere in between.

The verse melody and chorus melody are both absolutely gorgeous. They sound so unique and distinctive, yet are easy to remember and sing. I should probably learn the lyrics sometime, but the letter ë in Albanian gives me a lot of trouble because it seems to be silent half the time. To be fair, that’s probably how it feels to sing French lyrics if you don’t speak French, because that language does the same with the letter e.

Beatriçe beams with charisma and personality on stage, and I admire her choice to wear a stunning red dress. Kolë’s spoken word section takes more getting used to, but his stoic attitude adds a lot of tension to the song. I read a YouTube commenter say the song is about Beatriçe singing about an idealistic world of peace, then Kolë confronts her and reminds her that’s not the world we live in, but she perseveres and keeps hoping. That story comes across perfectly no matter whether you speak Albanian.

Something interesting about the lyrics is, even though I’ve always thought of Albanian as an exotic language, the first verse proves that it does have a surprising amount of words familiar to English speakers. In the first four lines, we have the familiar words “paranoia”, “ambulancë”, and “arrogancë”; later in the song we have “minutë” and “oqean”, the latter of which is just “ocean” with one letter changed. I’m guessing those Latin words entered Albanian because Albania is so close to Italy?

Given the utterly baffling results of this year, I’m happy enough with this getting eighth place. I had hoped this song would surpass the fifth place of “Suus” (a song I despise) as Albania’s best result, but in a year as competitive as this, that’s not really possible. It’s a shame the juries only gave this 45 points, but sometimes the televote needs to save the day and correct their blunder. They did that to “Zjerm” and gave it a respectable 173 points. And ten of them came from the rest of the world, which means my votes counted! Not my votes for Germany, sadly. This reminds me of the televoters saving the amazingly joyful “Trenulețul” from a low jury result.

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My full ranking

OK, here goes. Here’s how I’ve ranked every song of Eurovision 2025:

You can see from my rankings that this is an absolutely stellar year. Most songs got a seven or higher, and none got a 1/10 (the lowest score)! Albania is my clear winner, then my second through fourth places are almost interchangeable, ranked on what most consistently wows me. Then come the nines at 5th to 10th place, which weren’t too hard to rank: three dancey songs (including one where I tried to put aside patriotic bias), two moving ballads, and one more dancey song. My 11th to 13th place are the almost-nines. 14th to 19th place are the ones I like but need to be in the right mood for. Those were the toughest to rank, I kept swapping them a lot. I even moved Ukraine from 17th to 15th last minute.

20th to 26th place are a clear descent from “yeah this is just good enough for a playlist” to “OK but not for me”. 27th to 29th are the fives, the ones I don’t have strong feelings about. Israel at 30th was difficult to place because it shouldn’t have been allowed in the contest and I don’t like drama ballads anyway, so I just put it above all the songs that actively annoy me. My 31st to 34th places are moderately annoying, 35th is the dullest ballad of the year for me, and my bottom two (36 and 37) are truly insufferable pieces of crap. Yet I can’t say they’re half as bad as my 1/10’s over the years, like let’s say “The Moon Is Rising”.

Alright, now to add Albania, Zjerm to my list of winners:

• Albania, 1 (2025)
• Belgium, 3 (1957, 1976, 2003)
• Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2 (2001, 2006)
• Denmark, 2 (1963, 2000)
• Estonia, 1 (2009)
• Finland, 4 (1983, 1989, 2010, 2023)
• France, 3 (1977, 1990, 1991)
• Germany, 5 (1956, 1968, 1979, 1982, 1999)
• Greece, 1 (2013)
• Hungary, 2 (2005, 2019)
• Iceland, 1 (1992)
• Ireland, 3 (1970, 1980, 1994)
• Israel, 1 (1987)
• Italy, 1 (1964)
• Latvia, 2 (2002, 2018)
• Lithuania, 1 (2022)
• Luxembourg, 4 (1965, 1972, 1973, 1988)
• Monaco, 1 (1960)
• Montenegro, 1 (2015)
• Netherlands, 7 (1959, 1967, 1969, 1975, 1998, 2014, 2024)
• North Macedonia, 1 (2020)
• Norway, 5 (1966, 1985, 1993, 1995, 1996)
• Portugal, 3 (1971, 1984, 2017)
• Serbia, 4 (2004, 2008, 2011, 2012)
• Sweden, 2 (1958, 1974)
• Switzerland, 2 (1986, 2021)
• Turkey, 2 (1978, 1997)
• Ukraine, 2 (2007, 2016)
• United Kingdom, 3 (1961, 1962, 1981)
• (21 winners)

This list looks quite a bit different from my winners list in my 2024 review, because since then I decided to retcon a bunch of winners, then changed a few more in my round 2 reviews. To recap, my new winners after my “retconned winners” blog post are 1957, Straatdeuntje (the most upbeat song of the year), 1958, Lilla stjärna (changed back because I don’t love “Volare” that much), 1964, Non ho l’età (which I’ve grown to properly love), and while I was at it, 2018, Funny Girl (one of my nichest favorites ever).

As a bonus, my fellow reviewer Kriszna took the effort to predict my opinion on every Eurovision 2025 entry, and she got a respectable score of 21 out of 37! Here’s a spreadsheet with a full evaluation.

Rest of the show:

Interval acts:

Ah, and now we have the good old recap. If I was in charge of the show, I would open voting only after the first recap ends. That way, voters would have to hold their horses a little longer and actually think about who to vote for. The recap becomes a lot more fun to watch at song #10 (Iceland), and proves that’s where the show wakes up.

The first interval act is a nice little medley of Swiss entries, two classic and two modern. First is “Io senza te” from 1981, performed by Peter with his daughter and Marc with his son. A heartfelt little gem of a song that’s a fan favorite to this day. Second is nostalgia bait for people my mom’s age: Paola del Medico with “Cinéma” from 1980, a song I totally forgot about. Nice new rendition of it, and she sings it in both French and German! Didn’t even notice that on the night. By the time the final song ends, the rest of the Eurovision final is a blur to me. Third is Luca Hänni with a new rendition of “She Got Me” (2019), a song I’ve grown to love to bits. And finally Gjon’s Tears is back with a slightly new rendition of “Tout l’univers” (2021), a song I’ve always loved to just as many bits.

Recap number 2, and I’m reminded of how much it hurts that none of the many great songs reached the top three. Interval act number 2 is without a doubt the best of the entire show: Käärijä and Baby Lasagna having a musical duel with a mashup of “Cha Cha Cha” and “Rim Tim Tagi Dim”, then performing their absolute banger of a collab song called “Eurodab”. It’s an incredible happy hardcore piece of awesomeness in a mix of English, Finnish, and Croatian, and it’s cool to hear Baby Lasagna not sing in English for a change. Käärijä has now made songs together with Tommy Cash, Erika Vikman, Joost Klein, and Baby Lasagna, so who will he collaborate with next? KAJ, or Little Big, or Daði Freyr? Or ooh, what about a collab between Käärijä and Væb? I bet their styles wuold mesh well. The cherry on top of this interval act is Käärijä shouting “Europapa” at the end. A final legacy of the Joost Klein incident and an awesome shoutout to the Europapa fans. It was my winner last year.

The third interval act is Nemo singing a new song called “Unexplainable”, something a little slower and more mellow. This song and “The Code” prove that Nemo is at their best when doing vocal showoff songs. Nemo’s other music that isn’t vocally showoffy sadly doesn’t do much for me. And then we have eerhT rebmuN paceR, wait I mean Recap Number Three. I kind of wish the reverse recap was the first instead of the last, but it’s not too big a deal.

I’m glad the interval section was more focused on interval acts than skits, because I usually am not too big on the interval skits unless Sweden does them. The interval skits of 2025 have all been good though, especially the ones with Hazel.

Jury voting:

For the jury voting, first I’ll describe what it was like watching it from the St. Jakob-Park. My brain is always a blur in this part of the Eurovision final, so it was a mistake for the producers to only show the scoreboard a few seconds at a time this year. It made the voting needlessly hard to follow. During the voting, I cared more about how well Germany would do than who would win anyway, so I was very happy to see my country get twelve points twice. I did also notice Latvia getting a generous amount of jury points, which is a wonderful surprise. Austria battled with Switzerland for the jury lead and beat them after not too long, so I had a gut feeling Austria would win because it resembles what happened the last two years. I’m not happy about it, but there were much worse possible outcomes.

That said, the jury voting sequence is quite fun to rewatch, because it has a diverse array of twelve points and wasn’t just spamming twelve points to the jury winner. There were only a few twelve points that felt hilariously obvious: San Marino to Italy and Cyprus to Greece. 13 countries got twelve points from juries this year (compared to nine last year) and the jury winner got twelve points just eight times (compared to a whopping 22 times last year). The French juries had the best taste of all because they gave twelve points to Albania. Iceland had the second best taste because somehow they were the only jury to give Sweden twelve. The downside of an open jury vote is that this opened the door for spam votes to Israel, but I’ll get to that later.

OK, obligatory spokesperson bullet list:

• Last year’s host Sweden came first, and I like how they always pick a spokesperson who those who watched Melfest will recognize. Their points were delivered by Kristina “Keyyo” Petrushina, one of the hosts of Melodifestivalen 2025.
• Chantal Janzen from the Netherlands said “to all the countries that don’t get our twelve points tonight, I’d like to say the world-famous Dutch words: c’est la vie.” which made me laugh out loud. Gotta love it when a spokesperson is genuinely funny!
• I’d like to say дякую to Ukraine and děkuji to Czechia for giving twelve points to Germany. I absolutely loved those moments, and they’re the first time my country got twelve points from any jury since 2018! Getting twelve points feels good, you guys. Abor and Tynna screamed in joy at those points, and Stefan Raab made a fist in triumph.
• It wasn’t very nice of Austria not to give us points though. Is this how viewers from Nordic countries feel when their neighbors don’t give them points? They were actually the only jury to give twelve points to Finland.
• It just feels so Italian to hire one of the country’s favorite TV characters, a puppet mouse named Topo Gigio, give their jury points. Crazy enough, they gave the UK of all countries twelve points. I checked Graham Norton’s reaction: he said, “Listen to that! We got a twelve, everybody! […] Well, that’s made up for Celine not showing up.”
• Three juries gave twelve points to Latvia, which is fucking awesome if you ask me. Lithuania giving them twelve is not a surprise, but the Danish and British juries I absolutely did not expect to love the song as much as I do. It shows that Tautumeitas succeeded in having international appeal!
• Montenegro hired the lead singer of NeoneoN, the band who won Montenegro’s national selection but withdrew from Eurovision, to deliver their twelve points. You know, I’m curious if “Clickbait” would’ve actually done well in Eurovision… probably not, but who the hell knows?
• Silia Kapsis from Australia sang “Asteromáta” in the correct key, which as someone with perfect pitch made me happy. I wonder if she has perfect pitch too, or if she coincidentally got it right?
• To finish things off, Sven Epiney and Mélanie Freymond announced the Swiss points live from the St. Jakob-Park, a fun way to go the extra mile.

I also like the touch where the hosts repeated the points not only in French or English, but also in German when Germany or Austria got twelve points, and Italian when Italy got twelve. When I watched the show live, I was relieved at the end of the jury voting, because Germany ended with 77 points and that meant we’d be safely far from the bottom. But I was also a little heartbroken because I doubted 126 jury points to Sweden would be enough for them to win.

Televote points:

Now the televote sequence… it was even more of a blur than the jury votes for me, and my live reaction involved lots of angry swearing. I still don’t know how the fuck Estonia’s joke entry got more televote points than KAJ’s actually good song. I was really pissed off at that, as well as Israel coming so close to winning and the opera vocal stunt song taking the prize.

There were some good moments though: I love how Væb from Iceland flipped their shit at getting 33 points from the televote, and I love how the televoters redeemed the juries’ aversion to exotic songs by giving Poland 139 points. Spain’s ten points from the televote made me laugh, because I knew this wouldn’t do well at all. After that, all the songs I knew would get a low televote result got their points, then Denmark got an undeservedly low two. Oh man, that look on Sissal’s face. Albania had the televoters once more correct the juries’ mistakes though.

When Israel got 297 points from the televote, I was so sure that a different country would surpass them soon enough, but that never fucking happened until the split screen with Austria. I’m so sick of that country making the contest all about themselves. I won’t say any more on this topic, because I already did my Israel rant.

Germany’s 74 points from the televote is just enough to make me reasonably satisfied. I would’ve loved more of course, but I’m just happy they got a medium good result. Malta’s eight from the televote is fairly hilarious and shows that only the hardcore fans really gave a shit about their song. Finland dissapointingly came nowhere close to knocking out Israel’s lead. The UK’s televote zero points also made me laugh. Of course no one at home was going to vote for this.

Estonia’s joke entry got 258 televote points, which put them ONE POINT below Israel’s lead, which is frustratingly high yet it would’ve been so much less terrifying if they got two more. What I really would’ve preferred is Sweden swapping their televote score with Estonia, because even though that still would’ve meant an Austrian victory, KAJ would’ve surpassed Israel much earlier on and we’d have been spared a lot of terror.

To soothe my nerves for just a moment, Greece got a surprisingly good 126 televotes, then Latvia got 42 which is fair enough, about what I expected. Sadly none for Latvia came from the rest of the world, even though I voted for it. Sweden deserved at least 300 televote points but instead they got only 195, which is still a major disappointment for me. Not much left afterwards… Switzerland’s zero from the televote was quite the shock, but as with Olly Alexander’s zero last year, I can sort of see why. It’s a lovely song, but it’s not like I voted for it. Zoë seemed to take it well: she looked slightly shocked, then shrugged and made a heart with her hands. D’awww.

The final split screen between Austria’s bad song and Israel’s song that shouldn’t have been there at all was a worse nightmare than I could’ve ever conceived of. I begrudgingly wanted Austria to win the split screen, and from the hype their entry got in Basel, I pretty much knew they’d get the 100 points needed to win. I was salty as fuck about the ending of this contest, even though I know there could’ve been a much worse outcome. I then stayed up for like three hours talking with people online about what the actual fuck those results were. So yeah, this contest had a really shit ending. But experiencing the final with my mom and her boyfriend was fun as hell and she reminded me of how much fun I had on the trip.

JJ hugged a whole bunch of the contestants after winning, first Sissal who was everyone’s friend this year, then a handful of others. Then he picked up the trophy from a stand next to Nemo (which didn’t break, yay!) and sang his winner’s reprise. As with every year, this is the part where I space out in the live show and process what the hell I just watched. Not a happy ending, but not the worst possible ending either. It would be a better ending if that country didn’t come so close to winning. The difference in the end was too close for comfort.

General thoughts:

Let me start by saying I absolutely loved my time in Basel for Eurovision 2025. As with Malmö last year, I met existing friends, made new friends to keep contact with, and experienced the shows live with fellow fans. I learned a few lessons from my mishaps in Malmö and thankfully didn’t get into drama with anyone I met this year. Oh that’s right, I have to start making my Eurovision 2025 video after this! Thankfully I filmed a ton of footage there to make my job easier.

But oh my god. Fuck the final results, fuck them so bad. An incredibly strong lineup of songs, and three of the worst entries in the grand final took up the entire top three. It’s a shame the final results were so shit, but that doesn’t change that this was an absolutely delightful year otherwise. It’s possible that some songs may grow off me with time, but overall I just love the selection of songs this year. No matter what mood I am in, there is something from Eurovision 2025 that I will enjoy listening to. If I want a happy fun song that I can sing along to, I’ll put on “Bara bada bastu”. If I want to be transported to a fairytale word, “Zjerm” and “Bur man laimi” are there for me. If I just want something upbeat to put me in a good mood, there’s “Róa” or “Baller”. If I’d like to get hit in the feels, that’s what “Asteromáta” and “Voyage” are for. If I want something dancey to hype me up, all I need to do is put on “Strobe Lights”. Hell, if I want to torture my ears, I can do that too, because Ireland gave us “Laika Party”.

Overall I think Switzerland did a great job hosting the show, barring a few issues. As for the hosts, Hazel is hilarious and has a sense of humor unlike any presenter we’ve seen before. Sandra makes a good counterpoint to her, as the sincere one of the hosts. I think Michelle in the final didn’t add much to the host lineup, but she did her job well too. The postcards this year are delightful and exactly what I expected: the contestants each touring a place in Switzerland. My favorite of the postcards is that of the UK, where Remember Monday ride a gondola to the top of a mountain and have some food there. These are actually the first postcards to feature the contestants visiting the host country since Tel Aviv 2019. I love the touch of the title cards being animated in 3D, so the text is contained within the LED frame on stage, and I like the detail of each contestant being shown leaving the stage when their song ends.

The one thing I didn’t like about the hosting this year is all the audience muting and fake applause, and I’m not alone in feeling this way. “Bara bada bastu” is a delightful song no matter what, but it just isn’t the same without all the crowd cheering that we heard in Melfest. It was a really bad idea to mute the audience shouting “yum yum” in “Milkshake Man” as well. Plus, “New Day Will Rise” has to have the most obvious fake applause in Eurovision history. Here’s a pro tip: if the EBU stops doing things that the audience doesn’t agree with, then there won’t be a need to censor the crowd!

One more question: what are my hopes for Eurovision 2026? My biggest hope is that the EBU stops Israel from making the entire contest about themselves, because the contest simply cannot continue the way it has been. Preferably they’d ban them from the contest, but if not that, they should revamp how televoting works as I discussed in my Israel rant. I have two other major hopes for 2026: first, that the song lineup can live up to that of 2025, and second, that I’ll be able to go there. I don’t know if I can yet, because I need a new full-time job first and I was fired from my last one in March.

Whew, and now I’m done reviewing Eurovision 2025! Will my Eurovision final review be this long every year now? If the songs stay this good, then yeah, probably!